Welcome to Find the Joy with Jenn, the podcast where we explore stories of resilience, growth, and faith to help you FIND the joy in your journey. I’m your host, Jenn Zingmark, and today, I am thrilled to welcome a special guest, Hope Ray! 

Hope is a therapist and the creator of Complex Partner Trauma Magazine, a publication for women betrayed by intimate deception. She hosts Women Who Discover, a private podcast about infidelity and betrayal available on her website, along with Getting D.I.R.E. Straight, her signature program for men who are resolute in recovery and desire to build trust and safety in their marriages. 

Today, we’ll explore what defines betrayal, how it affects both partners, and what true healing looks like—whether that’s rebuilding trust in a relationship or finding personal peace. This conversation is for you no matter where you are on this journey.

• Learn more about my guest Hope Ray HERE: https://www.hoperay.com/ 

• Join me for a FREE WORKSHOP: 5 Things I Wish I Knew Before My LDS Divorce.📅 April 24 | 🕕  4 PM MST/ 6 PM EST. 
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• Thank you so much for listening to this episode! I’m honored and excited to be on this journey to healing and personal growth with you. If you enjoyed the podcast, I’d love to ask you to take 2 minutes to leave me a 5-star review on your podcast app; that way, we can help even more men and women find joy in their divorce journeys. You can win a $100 AMAZON GIFT when you do! Just send a screenshot of your review to jenn@jennzingmark.com. Make sure you put "Podcast Review" in the subject line. XO-  Jenn

168. Healing After Betrayal- Hope Ray’s Insights on Infidelity, Recovery, and Rebuilding Trust

[Intro – HER, spoken with attitude female vocal]
Yeah…
Let’s lay down the rules real quick.
This ain’t just a date — it’s a vibe check.
Fail it? You ghosted, boo.

[Verse 1 – HER - female vocal]
First rule: be on time — don’t test fate.
Say seven, show up late? That’s a red flag on a plate.
Manners matter — yeah, I clock every move,
Say "please" and "thanks," or you outta the groove.

Don’t burp, don’t fart, don't spit, don’t swear,
You a grown-ass man or a pub somewhere?
Don’t act rude to the staff, I’m peepin’ your tone,
How you treat strangers shows how I’ll get shown.

[Hook – HER - female vocal]
Red flags, dealbreakers — I see ‘em real clear,
If you wild on date one, you ain’t stayin’ near.
I want charm, not a child in disguise,
Keep it grown, keep it fly, better recognize.
(Yeah) Red flags, dealbreakers — I tally the score,
If you flunkin' on the basics, there won't be a "more."

[Verse 2 – HER - female vocal]
Don’t grab from my plate like you got no decorum,
Wait your turn — basic rules of the forum.
And don’t get twisted off three drinks in,
Slurrin’ your words? That’s a wrap, my friend.

Phone off the table, eyes on me,
If you scrollin’ mid-date, you dead to me.
Don’t dip for the loo and disappear for an age,
What you hidin'? A side piece backstage?

[Hook – HER, with ad-libs female vocal]
Red flags, dealbreakers — check that list,
You forget my name? That’s a first-class diss.
Don't sweet-talk just to get in my bed,
Sayin’ "yes" to everything — go think with your head.

Red flags, dealbreakers — I'm watchin’ you close,
Call me "Jess" when it's "Jade"? Boy, adiós.

[Verse 3 – HIM - male vocal]
Okay queen, I heard the checklist loud,
Red flags, dealbreakers — got it, proud.
But let me speak too, just for the record,
There’s two seats at this table — not a lecture.

I show up on time, open doors, that’s fact,
But don’t snap your fingers, I ain’t your staff.
I want convo — not a cross-exam,
Let’s vibe, not play "Guess Who?" exam.

I don’t mind jokes, but chill with the shade,
If it’s all testin’, I ain’t gettin’ paid.
No insta-flexin’, no poutin’ for likes,
Just be real — no filters, no psychs.

[Bridge – HER, slower flow - female vocal]
No flexin’ fake stories, no ex on replay,
Don’t ask what number I am — this ain't your résumé.
Don’t talk over me, don’t mansplain truth,
And I don’t need a prince — just a dude with couth.

No jokes ‘bout the bill, split it or claim it,
Cheap vibes? Nah, I don’t entertain it.
Make me laugh, not cringe — big diff,
‘Cause I know game when it comes gift-wrapped in myth.

[Back & Forth Tag – Duo Exchange]

[female vocal] HER:
Respect me right or I’m swiping left.
[male vocal] HIM:
Play games with me? I’ll ghost, no text.

[female vocal] HER:
Earn this crown, it ain’t free to hold.
[male vocal] HIM:
I’m royalty too, this ain’t your stroll.

[BOTH duet - male and female vocal ](unison/alternating):
So bring your best — or don’t even try,
‘Cause this high-standard love don’t lie.

[Outro – HER, confident mic drop - female vocal]
Pull my chair? Cool. Open doors? Nice.
But respect is the only real vice I price.
Talk smart, act right, and maybe we click,
But one wrong move — poof — gone quick.

💋 Next!

Red Flags & Dealbreakers (Remix)

In this episode, I share the reality of running a live daygame course while running on little sleep — and why showing up tired is still better than not showing up at all.

I also explore a common dating mistake: delaying intimacy because you think a woman is “different” or more reserved. That mindset creates false dynamics and often leads to frustration.

If you’ve ever talked yourself out of taking action or overthought a connection, this vlog will give you a grounded perspective to reset your mindset and lead with confidence.

View my upcoming courses: 
https://socialattraction.co.uk/upcoming-course-dates/

Apply to work with me:
https://calendly.com/garygunn/consultation

Access my core dating system for free (worth £99):
https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/p/social-attraction-dating-system 

Work on your dating success for only £10.79/$13.50 per month with my Advanced Dating System and 100-Day Dating Challenge: https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/p/small-bundle

Access all of my digital products for only £24.96/$33.20 per month: https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/p/gary-gunn-big-bundle

View all of my digital courses here:
 https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/

My TikTok account: https://www.tiktok.com/@garygunnshow

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/garygunnshow/

Access my podcast with over 420 episodes: https://soundcloud.com/garygunn

Subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/GaryGunn?sub_confirmation=1

This video is for entertainment purposes only. Any action you take upon the information provided is strictly at your own risk, and we will not be responsible for any losses or damages in connection with the use of this video. The selection of techniques, opinions, programs, products, services, tools, templates, or manuals is not a guarantee of income or success. You are fully responsible for the effort you put in and the results you achieve by following the information in this video.

All content, materials, and techniques delivered are proprietary and cannot be used, disclosed, or duplicated without permission. This video is for informational purposes only and does not form a professional relationship. Visit our website if you wish to hire us on a professional basis.

#datingadviceformen #datingtipsformen #datingcoachformen

This video is owned by Social Attraction Limited and is protected by copyright. Unauthorised use—including reposting, stitching, duetting, reacting, or using this content for commentary or derivative work on any platform—is strictly prohibited. We reserve all rights and will take action against infringement.

#436 - Daygame, Delaying Intimacy & Meeting Women When You’re Tired

You dress well. You speak well. But if you’re still chasing her approval… she’ll never respect you.

In this video, I break down why external polish means nothing if your internal frame is weak. Women can sense when you're performing for validation — and it kills attraction instantly.

You’ll learn:

Why being well-dressed isn’t enough

The real reason women ignore “nice guys”

How to shift from approval-seeking to self-respecting


If you’re ready to stop performing and start leading, this one’s for you.

View my upcoming courses: 
https://socialattraction.co.uk/upcoming-course-dates/

Apply to work with me:
https://calendly.com/garygunn/consultation

Access my core dating system for free (worth £99):
https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/p/social-attraction-dating-system 

Work on your dating success for only £10.79/$13.50 per month with my Advanced Dating System and 100-Day Dating Challenge: https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/p/small-bundle

Access all of my digital products for only £24.96/$33.20 per month: https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/p/gary-gunn-big-bundle

View all of my digital courses here:
 https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/

My TikTok account: https://www.tiktok.com/@garygunnshow

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/garygunnshow/

Access my podcast with over 420 episodes: https://soundcloud.com/garygunn

Subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/GaryGunn?sub_confirmation=1

This video is for entertainment purposes only. Any action you take upon the information provided is strictly at your own risk, and we will not be responsible for any losses or damages in connection with the use of this video. The selection of techniques, opinions, programs, products, services, tools, templates, or manuals is not a guarantee of income or success. You are fully responsible for the effort you put in and the results you achieve by following the information in this video.

All content, materials, and techniques delivered are proprietary and cannot be used, disclosed, or duplicated without permission. This video is for informational purposes only and does not form a professional relationship. Visit our website if you wish to hire us on a professional basis.

#datingadviceformen #datingtipsformen #datingcoachformen

This video is owned by Social Attraction Limited and is protected by copyright. Unauthorised use—including reposting, stitching, duetting, reacting, or using this content for commentary or derivative work on any platform—is strictly prohibited. We reserve all rights and will take action against infringement.

#444 - Why She Doesn’t Respect You (Even When You Dress Well)

Most men think attraction is something they earn by performing well. Saying the right thing. Looking the part. Acting confident.
But that mindset kills your power.

Attraction has always been about hierarchy — how you carry yourself, what energy you lead with, and whether she instinctively places you above or below her.
This video breaks down the real reason why women feel magnetised to certain men... and completely indifferent to others.

If you’ve ever felt like you were doing everything right and still not getting results — this explains why.

View my upcoming courses: 
https://socialattraction.co.uk/upcoming-course-dates/

Apply to work with me:
https://calendly.com/garygunn/consultation

Access my core dating system for free (worth £99):
https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/p/social-attraction-dating-system 

Work on your dating success for only £10.79/$13.50 per month with my Advanced Dating System and 100-Day Dating Challenge: https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/p/small-bundle

Access all of my digital products for only £24.96/$33.20 per month: https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/p/gary-gunn-big-bundle

View all of my digital courses here:
 https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/

My TikTok account: https://www.tiktok.com/@garygunnshow

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/garygunnshow/

Access my podcast with over 420 episodes: https://soundcloud.com/garygunn

Subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/GaryGunn?sub_confirmation=1

This video is for entertainment purposes only. Any action you take upon the information provided is strictly at your own risk, and we will not be responsible for any losses or damages in connection with the use of this video. The selection of techniques, opinions, programs, products, services, tools, templates, or manuals is not a guarantee of income or success. You are fully responsible for the effort you put in and the results you achieve by following the information in this video.

All content, materials, and techniques delivered are proprietary and cannot be used, disclosed, or duplicated without permission. This video is for informational purposes only and does not form a professional relationship. Visit our website if you wish to hire us on a professional basis.

#daygame #coldapproach #dating 

This video is owned by Social Attraction Limited and is protected by copyright. Unauthorised use—including reposting, stitching, duetting, reacting, or using this content for commentary or derivative work on any platform—is strictly prohibited. We reserve all rights and will take action against infringement.

#445 - Attraction Isn’t About Performance - It’s About Hierarchy

In this video, I break down the real differences between daygame and nightgame — not just in theory, but in how they play out in the real world.

If you have ever felt out of place approaching women in bars or drained after doing daygame, this episode will help you figure out why. I’ll explain how your personality type plays a huge role in your success, why most men are focusing on the wrong environment, and which setting actually leads to consistent results with high-quality women.

Whether you’re introverted, extroverted, or somewhere in between, by the end of this video, you’ll know which path suits you best — and why there’s only one clear winner.

View my upcoming courses: 
https://socialattraction.co.uk/upcoming-course-dates/

Apply to work with me:
https://calendly.com/garygunn/consultation

Access my core dating system for free (worth £99):
https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/p/social-attraction-dating-system 

Work on your dating success for only £10.79/$13.50 per month with my Advanced Dating System and 100-Day Dating Challenge: https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/p/small-bundle

Access all of my digital products for only £24.96/$33.20 per month: https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/p/gary-gunn-big-bundle

View all of my digital courses here:
 https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/

My TikTok account: https://www.tiktok.com/@garygunnshow

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/garygunnshow/

Access my podcast with over 420 episodes: https://soundcloud.com/garygunn

Subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/GaryGunn?sub_confirmation=1

This video is for entertainment purposes only. Any action you take upon the information provided is strictly at your own risk, and we will not be responsible for any losses or damages in connection with the use of this video. The selection of techniques, opinions, programs, products, services, tools, templates, or manuals is not a guarantee of income or success. You are fully responsible for the effort you put in and the results you achieve by following the information in this video.

All content, materials, and techniques delivered are proprietary and cannot be used, disclosed, or duplicated without permission. This video is for informational purposes only and does not form a professional relationship. Visit our website if you wish to hire us on a professional basis.

#datingadviceformen #datingtipsformen #datingcoachformen

This video is owned by Social Attraction Limited and is protected by copyright. Unauthorised use—including reposting, stitching, duetting, reacting, or using this content for commentary or derivative work on any platform—is strictly prohibited. We reserve all rights and will take action against infringement.

#447 - Daygame vs Nightgame - There Is One Clear Winner

In this Daygame Q&A session, I break down the real issues men face when approaching women during the day — and why most of your questions aren’t actually solving the problem.

Forget tactics for a second. This is about truth, confidence, and the energy you bring when you walk up to her.

If you’ve ever wondered:

“What do I say?”

“When do I ask for the number?”

“What if she’s not alone?”


This video will shift how you think about those questions — and replace them with better ones.

Watch to understand why most men fail at day game… and what to do instead.

View my upcoming courses: 
https://socialattraction.co.uk/upcoming-course-dates/

Apply to work with me:
https://calendly.com/garygunn/consultation

Access my core dating system for free (worth £99):
https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/p/social-attraction-dating-system 

Work on your dating success for only £10.79/$13.50 per month with my Advanced Dating System and 100-Day Dating Challenge: https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/p/small-bundle

Access all of my digital products for only £24.96/$33.20 per month: https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/p/gary-gunn-big-bundle

View all of my digital courses here:
 https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/

My TikTok account: https://www.tiktok.com/@garygunnshow

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/garygunnshow/

Access my podcast with over 420 episodes: https://soundcloud.com/garygunn

Subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/GaryGunn?sub_confirmation=1

This video is for entertainment purposes only. Any action you take upon the information provided is strictly at your own risk, and we will not be responsible for any losses or damages in connection with the use of this video. The selection of techniques, opinions, programs, products, services, tools, templates, or manuals is not a guarantee of income or success. You are fully responsible for the effort you put in and the results you achieve by following the information in this video.

All content, materials, and techniques delivered are proprietary and cannot be used, disclosed, or duplicated without permission. This video is for informational purposes only and does not form a professional relationship. Visit our website if you wish to hire us on a professional basis.

#daygame #coldapproach #dating 

This video is owned by Social Attraction Limited and is protected by copyright. Unauthorised use—including reposting, stitching, duetting, reacting, or using this content for commentary or derivative work on any platform—is strictly prohibited. We reserve all rights and will take action against infringement.

#448 - Daygame Q&A: Your Top Questions, Answered

Most men obsess over attraction tactics: what to say, how to act, how to keep her interested. But here’s the truth — attraction isn’t something you perform. It’s something you become when you learn to respect yourself.

In this video, I explain why constantly trying to attract her actually pushes her away. You’re putting her on a pedestal — while ignoring the one person who can truly change your results: you.

If she’s not chasing you, it’s not because you're not good enough — it’s because you’ve been chasing her approval instead of your own growth.

You’ll learn:

Why self-respect is more magnetic than any “line”

How performance-based attraction kills polarity

The mindset shift that flips the dynamic permanently


This isn’t about tricks. It’s about becoming the man women naturally want to follow.

📍 Watch it now. This might be the one video that makes everything click.

View my upcoming courses: 
https://socialattraction.co.uk/upcoming-course-dates/

Apply to work with me:
https://calendly.com/garygunn/consultation

Access my core dating system for free (worth £99):
https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/p/social-attraction-dating-system 

Work on your dating success for only £10.79/$13.50 per month with my Advanced Dating System and 100-Day Dating Challenge: https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/p/small-bundle

Access all of my digital products for only £24.96/$33.20 per month: https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/p/gary-gunn-big-bundle

View all of my digital courses here:
 https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/

My TikTok account: https://www.tiktok.com/@garygunnshow

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/garygunnshow/

Access my podcast with over 420 episodes: https://soundcloud.com/garygunn

Subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/GaryGunn?sub_confirmation=1

This video is for entertainment purposes only. Any action you take upon the information provided is strictly at your own risk, and we will not be responsible for any losses or damages in connection with the use of this video. The selection of techniques, opinions, programs, products, services, tools, templates, or manuals is not a guarantee of income or success. You are fully responsible for the effort you put in and the results you achieve by following the information in this video.

All content, materials, and techniques delivered are proprietary and cannot be used, disclosed, or duplicated without permission. This video is for informational purposes only and does not form a professional relationship. Visit our website if you wish to hire us on a professional basis.

#datingadviceformen #datingtipsformen #datingconfidence 

This video is owned by Social Attraction Limited and is protected by copyright. Unauthorised use—including reposting, stitching, duetting, reacting, or using this content for commentary or derivative work on any platform—is strictly prohibited. We reserve all rights and will take action against infringement.

#450 - Stop Asking Yourself How to Attract Her…

How to say no to a woman is one of the fastest ways to build lasting respect and attraction.
Most men either avoid saying no or do it in a way that damages the connection. I will show you the fix.
Learn the exact words, tone, and mindset to keep her interest while staying true to your boundaries.

How to say no to a woman is not about rejecting her — it is about showing you have standards, self-respect, and the courage to hold your ground. Whether you are dating or in a long-term relationship, this skill changes how women see you and how they respond to you. I have coached thousands of men to master this, and you will get my most effective techniques in this video.

You will learn:

How to say no to a woman without creating drama or conflict

Why boundaries increase respect and attraction in women

Common mistakes men make when saying no — and what to do instead

Phrases you can use immediately in dating and relationships

How to project calm, confident authority when turning her down

Book a consultation call here: 
https://calendly.com/garygunn/consultation

Join my daily newsletter:
https://socialattraction.co.uk/daily-newsletter/ 

My story and qualifications:
https://socialattraction.co.uk/meet-the-team/ 

My courses:
https://socialattraction.co.uk/upcoming-course-dates/

My 1-1 coaching:
https://socialattraction.co.uk/private-coaching/

My digital training courses:
https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/

My book series on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0BBS6SY1Z?binding=kindle_edition&ref_=ast_author_bsi 

Subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/GaryGunn?sub_confirmation=1

This video is for entertainment purposes only. Any action you take upon the information provided is strictly at your own risk, and we will not be responsible for any losses or damages in connection with the use of this video. The selection of techniques, opinions, programs, products, services, tools, templates, or manuals is not a guarantee of income or success. You are fully responsible for the effort you put in and the results you achieve by following the information in this video.

All content, materials, and techniques delivered are proprietary and cannot be used, disclosed, or duplicated without permission. This video is for informational purposes only and does not form a professional relationship. Visit our website if you wish to hire us on a professional basis.

#datingadviceformen #datingtipsformen #datingcoachformen

This video is owned by Social Attraction Limited and is protected by copyright. Unauthorised use—including reposting, stitching, duetting, reacting, or using this content for commentary or derivative work on any platform—is strictly prohibited. We reserve all rights and will take action against infringement

#474 - How to Say No to a Woman & Keep Her Attraction and Respect.

In this video, I share the three most important areas to master if you want to feel truly self-assured in your dating life. You will discover how to build confidence so that when the moment comes to approach a woman, flirt, or tease her, you are ready to act without hesitation. Watch now to learn the top three confidence triggers – and subscribe to my channel for more powerful dating advice.

Book a consultation call here: 
https://calendly.com/garygunn/consultation

Join my daily newsletter:
https://socialattraction.co.uk/daily-newsletter/ 

My story and qualifications:
https://socialattraction.co.uk/meet-the-team/ 

My courses:
https://socialattraction.co.uk/upcoming-course-dates/

My 1-1 coaching:
https://socialattraction.co.uk/private-coaching/

My digital training courses:
https://social-attraction-courses.teachable.com/

My book series on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0BBS6SY1Z?binding=kindle_edition&ref_=ast_author_bsi 

Subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/GaryGunn?sub_confirmation=1

This video is for entertainment purposes only. Any action you take upon the information provided is strictly at your own risk, and we will not be responsible for any losses or damages in connection with the use of this video. The selection of techniques, opinions, programs, products, services, tools, templates, or manuals is not a guarantee of income or success. You are fully responsible for the effort you put in and the results you achieve by following the information in this video.

All content, materials, and techniques delivered are proprietary and cannot be used, disclosed, or duplicated without permission. This video is for informational purposes only and does not form a professional relationship. Visit our website if you wish to hire us on a professional basis.

#datingadviceformen #datingtipsformen #datingcoachformen

This video is owned by Social Attraction Limited and is protected by copyright. Unauthorised use—including reposting, stitching, duetting, reacting, or using this content for commentary or derivative work on any platform—is strictly prohibited. We reserve all rights and will take action against infringement

#476 - How to Develop Nerves of Steel around Attractive Women.

Hi there, I'm Jenn,

I am an experienced, certified professional Ladder-day Saint life and divorce coach who mentors men and women in challenging times to find joy through faith-filled coaching. I can help you find the joy in your journey!

Like | Comment | Follow

Creative music producer.

Music, quirky, inspired, enjoy!

Mostly radio friendly & TV friendly tracks.  HD quality.  No swear words.

If you’re messaging me, tell me which song you liked.  It’s hard to know who is copying & pasting, and possibly a bot.

#snafflesmusic

(Private) (@) (private) (.) com

My name is Gary Gunn, and in this podcast, I will save you thousands of hours of pain, frustration and isolation in your dating life.

I will give you tried and tested dating advice that will make you a more confident, more attractive and a more desired man. 

I will show you how to transform your dating life, one podcast episode at a time, and more importantly, have some fun on your journey.

New tracks tagged #DatingTips