After the earthquake of Geert Wilders's election win, we pick our way through the rubble. Can the PVV form a coalition and where will Wilders find his team of ministers from? Or will it be a centrist cabinet with Frans Timmermans's PvdA-GL alliance? How many glasses of Prosecco will Vera Bergkamp need after meeting all 16 party leaders on Friday? And who will be the first to crack and phone Johan Remkes? Plus news of the Dutch football team's win against Gibraltar, higher traffic fines and a very good reason to avoid Tilburg if you still need one.

The We Take No Responsibility  For This Podcast Edition - Week 47 - 2023

The country can and must be governed, coalition scout Ronald Plasterk said after handing in his homework, but who wants to govern the country like this? Pieter Omtzigt still has serious doubts about the PVV's relationship with the constitution, Dilan Yesilgöz doesn't want the VVD to join a coalition and Caroline van der Plas is already fed up with all the bickering. Yesilgöz started a constitutional binfire in parliament when she called on the Senate to drop a migration law drawn up by her VVD colleague, Eric van der Burg, supported by the cabinet, including herself, and passed by the Tweede Kamer. Germany says a man from Rotterdam linked to Hamas was part of a Berlin-based plot to attack Jewish sites in Europe. Rembrandt's smallest portraits go on display in the Rijksmuseum after being authenticated. And we sign off for the holiday season by asking how many people will be getting coronavirus for Christmas, after hospitals report a surge in cases.

The Ministerial Migration Merry-Go-Round Edition - Week 50 - 2023

The coalition talks resume with a teambuilding week at a country estate in Hilversum, where the four party leaders try to keep the media and the winter chill from the door. After months of rain, the sub-zero temperatures are welcomed by skaters, but the government's decision to pump extra gas from Groningen gets a frosty response. The International Court of Justice is called on to intervene in Israel's bombardment of Gaza. Marc Overmars's intimate selfies have a long tail as Fifa bans him from working in football around the world. And we bring you a story of nuclear intrigue and espionage involving a Dutch civil engineer in Iran. Vote here for the Ophef of the Year and win a mug: https://forms.gle/KLcZL8eZdv8rhUgo6

The Escape to Swallow Mountain Edition - Week 2 - 2024

We ask where the talks to form a coalition government go next after Pieter Omtzigt pulls out of the negotiations, sending the other three party leaders into a state of synchronised shock. Meanwhile, the farmers' protests heat up again, sending thick black clouds of asbestos-filled smoke billowing across motorways and adding to the pressure on justice minister Dilan Yesilgöz. China denies hacking into a top secret computer system which the Dutch insist didn't contain anything significant anyway. Universities come up with a plan to limit the numbers of foreign students. And a statue of the Butcher of Banda continues to divide opinion in the historic trading port of Hoorn.

The Empty Chair Carousel Edition - Week 6 - 2024

Kim Putters begins his quest to form a new cabinet by wargaming the 501 permutations put forward by Pieter Omtzigt. The mayor of The Hague asks if the city "missed signals" about the riots that engulfed an Eritrean community event at the weekend. Scientists in Delft make a breakthrough in battery technology that shouldn't be taken with a pinch of salt. In sport, Irene Schouten shocks the world of speed skating by announcing her retirement while Femke Bol continues to set new standards on the athletics track. And we pay our last respects to a guru of the Elfstedentocht and the seldom seen grootkopboloogwants.

The Quincy's Snow Drops in Videoland Edition - Week 8 - 2024

Kim Putters begins his efforts to complete a coalition puzzle that looks increasingly like a charity shop jigsaw with two pieces missing. The mindbending 3D maze that is the Marengo trial ends with life sentences for ruthless gangland boss Ridouan Taghi and two of his henchmen. The PVV gets itself in a tangle over support for Ukraine as the caretaker government agrees a 10-year military support package. In sport, the Leeuwinnen miss out on a ticket to the Olympic Games, while Femke Bol is hoping to cash in her golden ticket in Glasgow this weekend. And Dutch News stirs up some controversy of its own as we investigate the origins of the Groningen eierbal, a hard-boiled egg deep fried in breadcrumbs that looks strangely familiar to Scottish readers.

The Badger Courage and Grenades of Virtue Edition - Week 9 - 2024

More than 100 days after the election, there are cautious signs that the four parties who have been bickering since December might be ready to start talking about forming a government. Meanwhile, the outgoing government is battling to keep international employers like ASML and Boskalis in the country. Venlo is hiring Croatians who don't speak Dutch to drive its buses to solve a shortage of personnel. We explain how Amsterdam's tram operator tried to invoice Germany after the Second World War for transporting Jews to the death camps. And in sport, Quincy Promes is involved in a high-speed dash from justice in Dubai, while Femke Bol and Max Verstappen are unstoppable on their respective tracks.

The Europapapapegaaipimpampetje Edition - Week 10 - 2024

After agreeing on a form of government that keeps Pieter Omtzigt on board and Geert Wilders muzzled, the four right-wing parties finally get down to business. Two new negotiators are given the task of producing a programme for government within eight weeks, but the only thing the leaders agree on is that the discussions will be "tough". The PVV scuppers a bill on animal welfare, sweeping changes are made to the law on sex offences and Dilan Yesilgöz is told to switch the air-raid sirens back on. Schiphol airport and KLM are rapped over the knuckles by the courts. And sad news in sport as Emmen withdraw from the shirt sponsorship deal that set the hunebeds buzzing.

The Boomers with Clipboards Edition - Week 12 - 2024

Groningen is up in arms over the senate's decision to pause the great gas switch-off, in a week when several government plans perish in the upper house. Czech claims that Russia has infiltrated the Dutch parliament leave MPs with an intriguing missed Thierry to solve. Ajax's new chief executive scores a devastating own goal as the club's season of misery continues. The government's efforts to remove non-Ukrainans who fled the war turns into a legal minefield, while oil giant Shell appeals against a court order to clean up after its customers.

The Weapons of Mass Distraction Edition - Week 14 - 2024

After months of slow progress, the formation of the next government hits warp speed as the new asylum minister resigns before he can be appointed. An early setback for the cabinet's immigration policy as the European Court of Justice says two Iraqi refugees who adopt Dutch values have the right to stay. Six men involved in the murder of the journalist Peter R de Vries are jailed for up to 28 years. The Princess Maxima cancer hospital fields brickbats from the scientific community after sponsoring a paper that links vaccines to Covid deaths. And striker Joshua Zirkzee runs away from Disney World to join Ronald Koeman's footballing circus at Euro 2024.

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