Dear Soul,

What if love is limitless? Like an endless spring feeding infinite rivers and lakes. You know this to be true, or at least true to you, and in some ways you’ve always known it to be true. 

You just got caught up in the ‘usual love story’ where love can only be for ‘the one’. Which feels silly really - especially when the story finishes without an ‘ever after’ (happy or otherwise) and ‘the one’ becomes ‘another one’ and you try again. And again, and again. 

And it hurts right, to hold back on the way love actually feels to you rather than how you’ve been told it’s meant to feel. So what if you could stop and love how, and who, you want to?

Be authentic dear soul and love your way.
   
Love, Yourself.

We Love To Love

Dear Soul,

Things have changed a bit eh? Things that used to bend now… creak a little, and things that were reliable now need… encouragement. And everything generally needs a bit of tender loving care. 
 
But some things remain the same right? That… appetite and desire to connect and intertwine, to come together and… er… come together.

It’s all fine, could even be a blessing! To slow down, take your time, and tell each other how it is. Find satisfaction in both the serenely sensual as well as the frenetically passionate. 

Be clear dear soul and enjoy it all. 

(And make sure you’re still able to enjoy it all again, after a nice cup of tea.)  

Love, Yourself.

The Way It Is

Dear Soul,

What if they actually like you? You know, just like old-school fancy you? 

Remember that? The way you would look at each other and simply melt. And all you wanted to hold each other and kiss until your lips went numb. And then… you know… make love like you were discovering it for the first time. 

(But with all your know-how in place obviously!). 

Well, just go with it. It’s totally allowed to simply be in the throes of passion and express your desire for each other. 

Be fun dear soul and enjoy yourself and each other!  

Love, Yourself

Holiday In Bed

Dear Soul,

So here you are - and there they are. 

Just the two of you - looking at each other, waiting, sensing what's coming. You smile nervously and so do they. Eeek! Everything feels… hyperreal right now - colors are brighter, sounds are sharper, reality is somehow… real-er.

How do you do this again? Do you go first or do they? How do we go from this - gazing in each other's eyes, hearts racing, souls aching - to kissing. And beyond. 

Close your eyes and breath. Come back to the here and now. Be with yourself and be with them.

Be present dear soul and let yourself meet each other, soul to soul.

Love, Yourself.

Hello

Dear Soul,

Uncertainty is a real mixture eh? Exciting and terrifying! 

Love can be like an exhilarating adventure in majestic mountains, where turning every corner could reveal more amazingness than you thought possible! And it can feel like walking along a frightening path through scary woods, where every step could take you closer to a danger you never imagined before! 

Often it’s both at the same time!

So try to expect the best. Not just that they’ll be amazing parts to enjoy, but that you’ll handle the dangerous ones as well. And both will enrich the journey. 

Be optimistic dear soul - you can do this! 

Love, Yourself.

Don't Worry

Dear Soul,

Love doesn’t have to all make sense, or even make sense at all. It’s love! Let it be… love.

Perhaps it’s time to get out of your head and into your heart. What would happen if you followed your heart for a change? Sure it could end up hurting you, but you’re hurting anyway. And what if it hurts and it’s worth it? 

Maybe if you let love lead, it would take you places you can’t even imagine, because you’ll be a different kind of person. You’ll be guided more by love than by logic.

Be magical dear soul and let love work its magic on you. 

Love, Yourself.

Phenomenal

Dear Soul,

Oh wow - it’s happening! You’ve found someone and love is in the air!! How exciting!!! 

And terrifying. Hardly surprising that the thing you want the most is also the thing that scares you the most. So much possibility for loving and being loved… and so much possibility for being hurt and heartbroken. (Again). 

Ok, dear soul - slow… down… 

Before you start picking curtains, lean in to what you are learning. About yourself and about relationships. Let things be what they want to be rather than what you feel it should be. 

Be curious dear soul and enjoy finding out together. 

Love, Yourself

What If This Is Real?

Dear Soul,

I know you have parts of yourself you don’t like. Parts you are ashamed of. Parts that surely no one could love, because even you don’t. So you hide them from others and even yourself. But what if… by sharing those parts you find someone who is ok with them. Maybe even likes them or… (hold on to your hat) even… loves them?! 

What if you started by sharing small parts of those parts, just enough to let another soul know you even have parts to share. Maybe if you show them yours, they’ll show you theirs. (They’ve got parts too). 

Be honest dear soul and together you could find ways to be ok with each other's parts and they’d feel less like a part and more like you. 

Love, Yourself

When You Wink

Dear Soul,

I see you, sitting there all alone, wondering if you’ll ever love again. 

Wondering if you’re even loveable at all after everything you’ve been through. Perhaps it would be easier to simply give up before you start. Convince yourself you’re ‘not that bothered’ and tell people ‘I’m actually happier on my own’. 

Then sob in your alone-ness on a Friday night, wishing you had someone to cuddle up with and make weekend plans with. Someone to hold in your arms and be held by, to drift off to sleep with and wake up to with sleepy smiles. (And morning breath).

Be brave dear soul and do something that lets the universe (and random strangers within a geographic zone of your choosing) know that you can love and be loved.

Love, Yourself

Swipe Right

In this anniversary episode of That Black Couple, Jenn and Darren celebrate 19 years of marriage and 22 years of being together. They dive into the dynamics of their non-traditional relationship, discussing their unique identities as a monogamous person and a polyamorous person. The couple shares insights on communication, the importance of understanding one's own needs, and how to navigate love and relationships outside of societal norms. Join them as they reflect on their journey and provide valuable tips for anyone interested in exploring polyamory.

S8E4 - Celebrating 19 Years of Marriage

CHARTAKI came in a dream as gold for our souls. 

It is a gentle invitation to connect with ourselves, each other and all-things.

When we feel lost and alone, CHARTAKI guides us home to our sense of joyful and contented being and belonging. 

In a universe of energy, these vibrations of music and words seek to soothe our troubles, heal our hurt and encourage our growth.

Allow that which resonates to strengthen what already feels true within, and all else to fall by the wayside for those it resonates with.

Welcome to CHARTAKI - may it bless us all.

This is an accidentally funny podcast about the realities of Blackness and adult life. 

Our goal is to create a space for Black millennials to discuss and embody adult life on their own terms. We aren’t beholden to “traditional” gender or parenting roles, queerness is fluid and present in the ways we show up in our relationships and in the world, and we want to build community with other 30-something Black folx who are trying to figure this ish out.

We do “adult” differently. 


-About Daren and Jenn-

Jenn is a queer, Black feminist from Oakland. Daren is an introverted nerd and novelist from Anaheim.

They are boo’ed up and have been since 2002 when they bonded over a mutual love of Brian McKnight’s “Never Felt This Way”, their favorite Brandy lyrics, and nineties TV like Family Matters, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and Living Single. It was a shared obsession with Black cultural icons, histories, and artistry that drew Jenn and Daren to one another even though they are actually completely different personality-wise.

Jenn and Daren have always said to themselves, “Wouldn’t it be cool if we had a show?” Well, no major networks have reached out yet. So, until that happens, you can find the them here, sharing their views on race and culture and everything in between.

They are young thirty-somethings who have been married since for over a decade. Jenn and Daren have three beautiful, brilliant, radical, snarky kids who play no games.

New tracks tagged #Ethical Non-Monogamy