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щит толкинг 2 (demo)

luxe flow

скука (feat. loju)

I think most people in this world already have most of their walls put up for comfort. Its a damn shame, because not all doors have to be closed when you see them. But we like to think we know how the world works, for comfort, and blindly shut so many things down. This isn't supposed to make my music any better, but its a damn shame. 

Did I hold a gun to your head

Big O talks Tyreek Hill and Fans Expectations 072125

Podcast Monday - Tyreek Hill and Fans Expectations 072125

Sometimes the enemy of the good is not the perfect, or even the bad, but merely the mindless. It is far too easy to fall into patterns of thought or behavior that lead us away from what we actually value without ever being aware of this shift. All of the necessary activities of life, and the natural worries that occupy space in our brains can be much more dangerous to our focus on what really matters than more direct moral challenges. In the familiar story, Martha's error is not that she was engaging in bad actions, but that she had not chosen what really mattered. We can make the same mistake without even noticing it. But that also means that if we pay attention we can make the better choice. 
Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Choosing What Really Matters

Playful, snarky, country-pop song inspired by the type of women who are unrealistically determined to land the perfect guy and who tend to hold men to much higher standards than they can meet themselves. This song was inspired by a social media influencer I met recently who used social media like it was her therapist. She kept live updating her socials while we were on dates and took feedback from the comments like it was good advice. At one point she asked if she was the type of girl I could fall for.  

Ain't Fallin' for That

One of the most pernicious dangers for people of faith is assuming that Jesus's moral instincts match our own. Sometimes this looks like assuming that God hates the same people we hate (nope - God loves them, the same as God loves us). Other times that looks like assuming our moral justifications would earn God's sign-off (nope - God is perfectly ready to challenge us to do better). In both instances, our challenge is to remember that while we always see only in part, God sees the whole. And much as this challenges our biases and self-justifications, this reality is actually really good news. Because it means that even when God is rebuking us, this correction is a message of love. It is an invitation to expect more from God and from ourselves. 

Photo by Kelli McClintock on Unsplash



Not Putting God (Or Ourselves) In A Box

A haunting exploration of inherited expectations and corporate identity crisis. The song uses the metaphor of silk ties as nooses to examine how the narrator struggles between becoming his father's ghost in the business world versus finding his authentic self. The recurring question "Which ghost are you trying to become" drives home themes of generational pressure, corporate conformity, and the suffocating nature of living up to others' expectations. The imagery of boardrooms, colored ties for different days, and late-night moments of vulnerability creates a vivid portrait of modern masculine struggle.


Which Ghost

Morning mirror shows my father's face
Looking back through forty years of silk
While I practice tying knots he never taught me
Each noose another knot for what I've built
In boardrooms where his ghost still walks the halls
And I rehearse the words he used to say

Which ghost are you trying to become
When you wrap that silk around your throat
While your true self whispers from the shadows
Which ghost are you trying to become

There's a warden in my closet
Arranging colors like a mood ring chart
Monday morning burgundy for strength
Wednesday blue for video smiles with lies
Thursday's pattern hides what I destroy
While Friday's gold can't mask what's in my eyes

Which ghost are you trying to become
When you wrap that silk around your throat
When your souls light splits through corporate armor
Which ghost are you trying to become

At two AM I'm naked in the light
Red Windsor marks still pressed into my skin
These silk rosaries around my neck
The only prayers I remember how to sing
When did the noose become my daily bread
The corporate communion wine I drink

Which ghost am I trying to become
When I wrap this silk around my throat
When my gut strings play a different tune
My father's ghost or someone I've outgrown
Which ghost am I trying to become
The man I was before I learned to hide
Which ghost am I trying to become


Which Ghost

I'm not here to entertain you. Or give you things you want. This is my story, where everything's included, told from the side the observer. All things converge in one place, its chaotically beautiful.

Poet • Performer • Composer • Lyricist

Welcome to the sermon feed for Abiding Peace Lutheran Church: Journey of Faith. We would love to have you with us for worship, but if you can't join us on Sunday mornings, we hope these messages bring the challenge and grace of the gospel to your life.

31 year veteran Sports talk host. Follow on Twitter @BigOShow. Watch the daily show on #YouTube search & Subscribe #BigORadioShow.

My music is made for dreamers, dancers, and anyone who's ever felt too much. I'm just a guy, sitting in his room, daring to dream I could have a better life.

New tracks tagged #Expectations