Gen X could use some help from the Millennials and Gen Z when it comes to life balance. But first, we have to start trading adrenaline for dopamine!

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This deeply personal and emotionally charged ballad is a poignant tribute to a mother's unwavering faith and a son's complex journey of love, loss, and healing. The song delicately balances themes of spiritual devotion with the weight of hidden trauma, creating a narrative that is both heart-wrenching and cathartic.

Through gentle melodies and introspective lyrics, the song explores the dichotomy between a mother's steadfast belief and her son's struggle with faith in the aftermath of childhood abuse. It touches on the guilt of keeping secrets, the pain of loss, and the ongoing search for personal spiritual reconciliation.

The chorus serves as a powerful refrain of love and hope, expressing the desire for understanding and connection that transcends even death. The bridge offers a glimpse into the narrator's ongoing journey, honoring his mother's memory while seeking his own path to healing and faith.

This song speaks to anyone who has grappled with family secrets, religious trauma, or the loss of a loved one. It offers a raw and honest look at the complexities of faith, family, and personal growth in the face of profound adversity.

Lyrics:

You were a woman of faith, dear Mom
Your love for the Lord never waned
You found comfort in prayer, in the church's embrace
And I longed to share in your grace

But I held a secret deep inside
A pain too great to confide
I was just a child, innocent and pure
But a man of God stole that from me, I'm sure

I never wanted to burden you, Mom
With the truth of what happened, what I've become
But I know you're watching from above
And I hope you can see my heart, and my love

As you fought for each breath, dear Mom
Your faith was the last thing you held on
You clung to it tightly, with all your might
And I prayed to the Lord to make things right

But those memories still haunt me
The guilt and shame that won't set me free
I wish I could have told you, Mom
But I didn't want to break your faith, your bond

I never wanted to burden you, Mom
With the truth of what happened, what I've become
But I know you're watching from above
And I hope you can see my heart, and my love

I'm still searching for my own faith, Mom
Trying to find my way in this world
But I know you're with me, every step I take
And I'll honor your memory, for heaven's sake

I never wanted to burden you, Mom
With the truth of what happened, what I've become
But I know you're watching from above
And I hope you can see my heart, and my love

I love you, Mom, more than words can say
And I'll carry your memory with me, every day
Until we meet again, in God's embrace
I'll keep searching for my own faith, and my grace

Innocence Lost

Xak Stahl: Alchemist of Sound, Architect of Emotion

Xak Stahl is a genre-blurring music artist, sonic storyteller, and relentless experimenter. Every track he creates is a new world—a kaleidoscope of indie folk, alt-pop, electronica, and global flavors—infused with raw emotion and boundless curiosity. Xak’s music isn’t just heard; it’s felt.

From Shadow to Spotlight

For Xak, music is metamorphosis. His journey began in the shadows, transmuting heartbreak and struggle into songs that glow with hope. Early anthems like “Neon Dreams” and “Rising Through the Darkness” invite listeners to find their own light. His newest project, Major Arcana, channels the mysteries of the Tarot—each song an archetype, each lyric a step along the path from the Fool’s first leap to the wisdom of The World.

More Than Music: A Multisensory Universe

But Xak isn’t confined to sound. As a visual artist and writer, he crafts immersive stories that spill across genres and languages—sometimes haunting, sometimes playful, always honest. Whether he’s conjuring lush soundscapes, weaving bilingual lyrics, or creating striking visuals, Xak’s art dares you to feel deeper and dream wilder.

An Invitation to Transformation

Join Xak Stahl on a sonic odyssey that blurs borders—between genres, between artforms, between you and the music. Each release is an invitation to explore, to heal, to become. For Xak, every song is a spell, every album a universe. The only question is: are you ready to step inside?

I am a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in Maryland with more than a quarter century of experience helping people unbox their lives from trauma, anxiety, relationship tangles, and coping with the neurobland, overboxed world.

New tracks tagged #HiddenTrauma