I didn’t choose the beep life, the beep life chose me.
Do you even know what it feels like to look God in the eyes of a flashing “:01” timer and say,
“Not tonight, bitch.”

This track is not a song. It’s a religious experience.
A divine retelling of one man’s stoned pilgrimage across the kitchen tile
barefoot, enlightened, vibrating at snack frequency.

When I hit that STOP button at 0:01, time stopped too.
The angels wept. The fridge hummed the national anthem of the spiritually baked.
My third eye opened… and it was staring directly into a Hot Pocket.

You can keep your Grammys.
I’ve got microwave redemption.
I’ve got legendary thumb work.
And somewhere out there, a roommate still sleeps in peace
because I am the chosen snack engineer.

no beep.
no fear.
just Shiitake salvation.

Lyrics

In the beginning there was hunger
And somewhere a microwave prepared to betray me

Roommate’s asleep, it’s two a.m.
Microwave hums like a guilty friend
Timer flashin’, three, two, one
If that beep hits, my night’s done

Barefoot dash across the tile
Eyes locked on that countdown dial
For the sake of snacks and peace of mind
I slap that stop at zero-one in time

Every night I swear that vow
Protect the house, it starts right now
One hand steady, one eye closed
I’m the guardian of those dozing souls

No beep, no fear
I’m the chosen engineer
Three, two, one, I dive
Keepin’ sleepers all alive
No beep, no fear
Victory’s near
Silence reigns, the mission’s clear

Yeah that’s me
I stopped the beep
Didn’t flinch, didn’t peep
I stopped the beep

Practiced thumbs and paper plates
Drills at dawn, reheating fate
Push-start-cancel, lightning quick
Neighbors think I’m losing it

Sweatband tight, reheated fries
Hero glow beneath my eyes
If it beeps, the world will shake
Not on my watch, not on my plate

Light turns red, countdown low
Sweat drips fast, time moves slow
I reach across that cosmic line
Save the night at zero-one in time

No beep, no fear
I’m the chosen engineer
Three, two, one, release
The kitchen kneels in peace
No beep, no fear
I persevere
Silence falls, the crowd can hear

Yeah that’s me
I stopped the beep
Ain’t no sleep
I stopped the beep

I’ve seen the light of frozen meals
Heard that tone those beeps reveal
Every ding I’ve slain with grace
Left no sound in this sacred place

No beep, no fear
Glory’s near
Time obeys when I appear
No beep, no fear
Bow right here
The chosen snack engineer

…wait
Did I even put food in?

Chosen By the Beep

Flinch, Then Ignite:  https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/shiitakeproducts/flinch-then-ignite

I built Shiitake Products because the world needed a home for beautiful nonsense and soul-splitting truth.

- Sometimes that looks like a dancefloor meltdown at 2am.
- Sometimes it’s a button that says “Mildly Okay Human.”
- Sometimes it’s a whispered hymn to grief.

It’s all real. It’s all me. This is my multiverse—and you’re invited.

Here, AI collides with human emotion to create music that actually means something.
From dark trap bangers to cinematic alt-rock anthems, from emo-folk confessionals to glitch-satire ballads—every track is a story, a mood, a moment.
Not built for algorithms.
Built to feel.

🎧 Genres? Trap. EDM. Alt-rock. Rap-rock. Folk. Comedy. Chaos.

🧠 Themes? Rage. Love. ADHD spirals. Existential dread. Healing. Heartbreak. Hope.

🎯 Mission? To punch through the noise—and hit something real.


🔥 Want your story turned into a song? I do that.

🎁 Every listen helps fund more sonic experiments, more weird merch, and more beautiful noise.

🔗 Links:
🎶 Spotify: open.spotify.com/artist/7Hk4B9nLJs5XwqQEqOdMaU
🍎 Apple Music: music.apple.com/us/artist/shiitake-products/1766960367
☕ Support / Custom Songs: ko-fi.com/shiitakeproducts
🌐 More chaos: shiitakeproducts.com

⚠️ Marketers & "design bros" beware: I will waste your time on purpose.

New tracks tagged #Humorcore