2 1/2 hours worth of improv from the ground up

Synth, synth, and more synth, guitar, bass

Please Hold

Disclosure Day, live at the Ball Arena, formerly known as the Pepsi Center, in Denver Colorado

*band playing the song 867-5309, enters a part of the song where the band starts to go into a simple prolonged jam, singer begins to speak

Happy Disclosure Day!

*crowd cheers

I can't hear you! I said, Happy Disclosure Day!

*crowd cheers louder

We are Sasquatch and the Aliens. Allow me to introduce the band.

Over here we have Glurp on the drums.

*Glurp plays a short drum solo over the simple prolonged jam

Glurp is a Toraxian. He is a shape-shifting cephalopod who normally has 8 arms but is currently taking the form of a human to make the people of Earth not freak out. I'm sure you can all imagine the advantages of having an 8 armed drummer. Fun fact, their species has 3 genders. One gender lays the eggs. Another fertilizes the eggs. And a third one incubates the eggs in a pouch, like a kangaroo octopus. Unlike humans, bonds don't form like love. It's all a public occurrence. Eggs are laid in a certain spot, where the fertilizers kind of randomly fertilize them, and a carrier will pick a random egg by chance and carry it. Then once it hatches, it's also raised publicly. Family bonds don't form. Juvenile Toraxians roam around learning lessons from many mature and elder Toraxians as they go. Let's give a round of applause to Glurp!

Then over here on guitar we have Zax.

*Zax plays a short guitar solo over the simple prolonged jam

Zax is a reptilian. There are 2 common misconceptions about reptilians. First one is that they're an alien species, but alas, they evolved alongside the dinosaurs, and when the great reptilian war broke out causing the members of the Aurulian continent, now known as Antarctica, to call down a great asteroid, the great dying and subsequent ice age caused by this reckless act of war, forced the remaining Aurulians to move underground where they still live in albeit smaller numbers today. The other misconception about them is that they're shape shifting, but that's not true. Instead, they project mental images of a human directly into our brains, which the end result is about the same, but it's a different biological function entirely. Fun fact. Zax is Taylor Swifts cousin, twice removed. Let's give a round of applause to Zax!

On bass we have O. 

*O plays a short bass solo over the simple prolonged jam

O is an intelligent, sentient, and asexual single celled organism of the O collective. O will one day split in 2, and we won't be sure which one was the original, not that it matters, they're all the same. I know what you're thinking. But O looks like a human. Well O's can't get around on their own. They are a symbiotic species that needs to take control of another species body to survive. In this case, the human body O took was brain dead and in a coma, and had no family or friends, so O took the body, repaired it from the inside, and has resided within ever since. The doctors thought it was a miracle. Fun fact. The O collective is not necessarily the largest population in the galaxy, but is the widest spread with representatives on almost every planet capable of sustaining life. Let's give a round of applause for O.

On the keyboard we have 5642.

*5642 plays a short keyboard solo over the simple prolonged jam

5642 is one of many drones controlled by the hive mind known as Queen E The Exalted One, so technically 5642 is Queen E The Exalted One, in the form of one of her millions of extensions of herself. 5642 wears a hologram to appear as a human to hide its rough and frightening to humans, exoskeletal self, allowing it to walk among the humans. Fun fact, nobody has any idea where Queen E The Exalted One resides, just that with her instantaneous hive mind communication with her drones, 5642 plays keyboard for her much the same as a human's hand might play keyboard for a human. Let's give a round of applause for Queen E The Exalted One. 

And hi, I'm Sasquatch, and I know what you're thinking. You look like a normal human too. Well, I am. You see, Sasquatch isn't a species, it's a title. Allow me to explain. This band of aliens represents a galactic stage. Some theorize however, that with the inclusion of Queen E The Exalted One, and nobody being able to find her anywhere in this galaxy, that she isn't even in our galaxy, and we actually even represent an intergalactic stage. But it doesn't end there.

In the vast expanse known as infinity, all possibilities are played out, and here, we are but one universal bubble amongst an infinite many. Sasquatch, is a title given to a single representative of each universal bubble's iteration of the world known as Earth. The title is given to the least most average person on the planet. It was considered being given to the most average person on the planet, but being the most average was paradoxical, as the recipient would then be too much of something to be considered average, even if that thing they're too much of, is the state of being average.

I got the title, because even though I'm very average in almost every way, I am quite hairy for a human, and since that was such a benign and useless way of being above average, I was considered the least most average human. Plenty of other Earth's have harrier humans than myself, such as the extra universal Earthling known most famously to this Earth's humans, as thee Sasquatch. He was visiting for a meeting that day the famous film was taken, through a parallel universal portal. He is Earth 534-0998's least most average person. Ironically enough though, the thing that made him least most average was his larger than usual.....wait for it.....hands.

I am the Sasquatch for Earth 867-5309. It was determined that all of the Earth's worthy of a designation number and being on the Sasquatchian council, should have that designation number be the series of digits sung in that Earth's equivalent of that song. Fun fact, Earth 867-5319, is exactly the same as our Earth in every imaginable way, with the exception of the lyrics of that song being one digit off. Boy are my meetings with that Earth's Sasquatch awkward. Like looking in a mirror, we say and do the exact same thing simultaneously. It's weird. Stop it. No you stop it. Stop copying me. You stop copying me. You first. BoodalaBoodalaBoodalaBoodalaBoodalaBoodalaBoo. Slank. Damn it! You get the point.

It was entirely coincidental that only the Earths that produced a variation of that song were worthy of being included in the Sasquatchian council and given a designation number. It just happened that way. Of all the variations of Earth, most of them don't even harbor life. Of the ones that do, most of them don't harbor any multicellular life. Of the ones that do, most don't harbor any intelligent life. Of those ones, of which there are still millions, only one doesn't have a version of that song. That one being the birthplace of scientology. So as you can see, none of the Earth equivalents in all of the multiverse that didn't come up with a variation of the song known for it's chorus 867-5309 on our Earth, were worthy of being included on the Sasquatchian council.

My job as Sasquatch, is to represent Earth 867-5309, on the inter-universal Sasquatchian council, to protect Earth 867-5309 from threats originating from the multiverse, to protect this Earth from cross contamination from other Earths(clearly I failed in the case of scientology, but nobody's perfect, we all make mistakes at our jobs sometimes), to keep other Earths from being found by our Earth's military leaders, and to quarantine this Earth's plagues such as Covid and capitalism, from spreading to other earths. 

So there you have it. I hope you learned something today. We are Sasquatch and the Aliens, and happy disclosure day. 

*starts singing chorus 867-5309, 867-5309

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