A Scintillation Of The Source 
	
		(I)
		
		You looked perfect in Salem. * The one with the dead witches. *
		That trip lingers, and hurts to the touch; the very thought makes me sick.
		It's a mystery: why does it still bother me?
		
		Undead don't sleep.
		Vampires don't die.
		
		An endless dance of seeking love and finding it, then losing it, and enshrining its corpse, its death shroud.
		More days and more nights; another season, a new epoch.
		But I can't seem to get past the last one.
		
		Have you ever had your heart broken?
		I did not know it'd heal so slow.
		I thought it would go away - away after a year.
		I begin to wonder: does it end?
		
		Tease the hope out of my bitter heart.
		
		Love doth die, but there will be another waiting to bloom.
		The next step in this dance, this game we love.
		You've made it this far, you have to keep playing.
		If you linger, you will be late to your next dance.
		
		I'm sick of ruminating.
		But I still hope so desperately to reverse this course, to dance under the Sun [sic] again unending.
		Does that wish ever go away?
		I wanna leave it and never look back.
		Alas, I've always had a weakness for girls that do tarot.
		
		That which is dead may never die. * Here's hoping for strange aeons. *
		
		I have danced this dance before.
		I have picked up the pieces before, but not like this.
		It still hurts like last December.
		I want to move on, but I fear the worst, I fear a Winter [sic] unending.
		The world's stopped spinning.
		
		-- you --

Kassiopeia - The Redacted Plutonian Packet - A Scintillation Of The Source

An Improper Sendoff 
	
		(VIII)
		
		* mouthwashing beforehand for a clean vocal take *
		
		A traitor at heart.
		A traitor at first.
		Traitors must hold fast tied to the mast.
		Slash the lashings, salvage the vessel, lest your anchor pull you under.
		
		All we need is all we can carry.
		Burdens too great will sink the ship.
		Dead weight will drown you before you reach any shore.
		Can you bear to cast your precious feelings overboard?
		I still miss you.
		
		You set me adrift at sea. 
		You're gonna let the ocean bury me.
		I still miss you.
		You're at the edge of the earth.
		You've shown me salt and gray is all I'll ever be worth.
		
		What would you say to me if one day I make it back alive?
		
		The swells surge and strike in the blink of an eye.
		Lost at sea, swallowed by the storm.
		Astronomical guides have fled from sight.
		I pray, I hope, to keep afloat.		
		You left a wound in me, a specter, a cursed souvenir.
		I've measured months of mourning in the shades of gangrene rotting my facade. * Not just green. *
		
		Sometimes all I can manage to do is sit here and stare into space. * At my empty white walls. *
		Thinking the same thoughts over and over and over. . .
		Praying for sleep, and the relief it may bring.
		I'm disconnected from my own emotions until they flash flood, and pull me under.
		You probably don't even think of me, and I'm a fool for letting your ghost wreak havoc in my mind.
		Over.
		And over.
		And over.
		
		I know what I have, but I cannot think past what I don't.
		
		Can you hear me an ocean away?
		I hate to say, it's only right that I be swept away.
		
		Don't you ever leave the lighthouse on for me.
		Leave me, I know you won't have any trouble with that.
		I will carry these waters with me and gaze fondly.
		While I can't help but reminisce, I recognize I need new shores to miss.
		
		You left a wound in me.
		I find myself sinking over and over.
		You're a ghost forever.
		You probably don't even think of me.
		Don't you ever leave the lighthouse on for me.
		I still miss you so dearly.
		
		I still miss you so dearly.
		I'm still drowning in my memories.
		And you - I still miss you - you're still an ocean away.
		You're a ghost, and it's going to have to be okay.
		Forever.
		
		I still miss you.
		I still miss you so dearly.
		I would sail the seven seas if it'd bring you back to me.
		
		Spill my heart, breathe in the sea.
		I did it to you, do it to me.
		There's sorrow but not animosity.
		I wish you well and better memories.
		Hear the waves, come drown with me.
		I sent myself off erroneously.
		Always sorrow; never animosity.
		I wish you well and better memories.
		
		* post-tracking cleaning *
		
		-- sincerely --

Kassiopeia - The Redacted Plutonian Packet - An Improper Sendoff

Dead Season Again
	
		(II)
	
		It's cold enough to snow again.
		Winters are not ideal, but they happen.
		The seasons spiral as I spiral.
		
		Days become weeks become months.
		Yesterday becomes today.
		Tomorrow looks like before.
		Quiet sighs of de ja
		
		Vu escape in my empty rooms.
		I guess now is the trough: torpor again.
		
		Vices like vises can pass the hours less motionlessly. 
		It is 
		
		Less difficult to live bestially.
		I can't heed myself when I heed my body.
		Ether is an ally as much as an enemy.
		Is this worth my life?
		
		My breath?
		* Respiration. *
		
		Rumination feels quite like not even living at all.
		The snake coils 'round my wrists: I shall merely just exist.
		
		I just wanted to read a good Sabrina book, write a vampire story,
		
		Run four miles in thirty minutes, and I'd still like to fall in love again.
		
		But I cannot resist the allure of scrutinizing my empty white walls.
		
		If Heaven and Hell are states of mind, why do I think myself into damnation?
		Don't I even at least care enough to pull myself out?
		Do I really care for nothing?
		
		Nothing can be the most enticing thing to exist.
		I don't think this is normal, but I won't avert my stare.
		For days, for weeks, I'll wait and hope, sleep and pray that eventually it relaxes its grip on me.
		
		I just wanted to write at least one good album.
		Get a hit of dopamine.
		
		-- Whoever --

FFO: State Faults, Comeback Kid, Turnstile, Spiritbox, Loathe, The Contortionist, Refused, AFI, The Black Dahlia Murder, The Blood Brothers, SeeYouSpaceCowboy, Portrayal of Guilt, Chat Pile, Knocked Loose, At the Drive-In, Scowl

Kassiopeia - The Redacted Plutonian Packet - Dead Season Again

A fear of sleep, where dreams cut too deep to tell from life. The only escape seems to be a final awakening — death.

What We Don't Talk About

Awake

I was crossfaded when I did this

Tracks:

Love Vibration - AstroHertz
Awkward - Dance Gavin Dance

awkwardvibration

He offers her his strength when she cannot rise on her own. His promise comes not from pity, but from shared pain — a vow to carry part of her weight.

Borrow My Wings

Lyrics:
Here lies a hypocrite; condemned to relive 
the dreams that she threw away
Kneeling amongst the damned
pretty sore eyes still see while closed

My heart beats in threes
in the sky under the sea
All it'd take to exist
in a past that we missed

And the rules that I'd break
for a girl that won't stay
In the arms of a stranger
my dreams worsen the play

Excuse my missing trust
Wingless angels foresee the cost
Listen to the silence
These walls could not keep me in

Taking a wrong turn
If I'm lost in these woods
may your light go out
I don't want to be found anymore

Shattering from words that I've heard in my sleep
Time is up, kiss farewell your dreams
Between the bars I can't believe this is you

My hips sway on three
My sweetheart long gone
Nicotine on my lips
An addictive tongue

Pacing my own breathes
I chose this outcome
Port wine tames complain

No place to breathe
Just a poisoned kiss before sleep
Glass shards from mirrors cut me
Heart-sick as vultures take me

There's nobody home
Miss Misery collects bottles on her own
I played with smoke and mirrors
Set flames to all my treasures


My Heart Beats in Threes

Lyrics ✨

Veil of black wings
Comes to wrap you in its cloak
And it cuts you off from everyone
That you know

You're in the kingdom of the King
Of flies and rot and parasites
And you've become one of his creatures
It's the fate of all his kind

It's the veil of black wings
Of the things that drag you down
And the night calls with their sweet songs
As it wraps you in its shroud
It's the veil of black wings
Of the things that drag you down
And the night calls with their sweet songs
As it wraps you in its shroud

Veil of black wings
Comes to drag you down below
Where it is freezing and it's dark
And you're alone

I hear you singing in the deep
You call my name and I don't know
Is it your voice or some creature
That calls from below

It's the veil of black wings
Of the things that drag you down
And the night calls with their sweet songs
As it wraps you in its shroud
It's the veil of black wings
Of the things that drag you down
And the night calls with their sweet songs
As it wraps you in its shroud


Veil of Black Wings

She left, uttering “Farewell,” and now their paths have parted. He departs, yet leaves a door open for her—a place where she can always find peace and support. No judgment, no conditions, only a quiet readiness to welcome her whenever she may need it.

...Shouldst Thou Need Me (Epilogue)

Take it slow, swallow the poison,
Sure comatose, just try to enjoy it,
One only hope, one big disappointment,
Blood from your nose, just let it go

And all the flowers wilt by winter just the same,
And when I'm gone and died I'm terrified to take up the same name,
In sudden pause the cause was lost before you came,
Lost your faith in me & make believe,
It's all a crying shame

Fall apart, there's no use in trying,
It's all my fault that we've all been dying,
Drown in the flood, I might as well dive in,
Gave you my blood, I'll let it go

And all the flowers wilt by winter just the same,
And when I'm gone and died I'm terrified to take up the same name,
In sudden pause the cause was lost before you came,
Lost your faith in me & make believe,
It's all a crying shame

It's all a crying shame

Crying shame,
These clouds still hang,
Over my head,
It knows my name

(Don't be that way)
(Don't be that way)
(Don't be that way)
(Don't be that way)

And all the flowers wilt by winter just the same,
And when I'm gone and died I'm terrified to take up the same name,
In sudden pause the cause was lost before you came,
Lost your faith in me & make believe,
It's all a crying shame

It's all a crying shame 
It's all a crying shame


the big cloud

Use the links to reach me. 🖤
And if you’re from 🇷🇺 or 🇺🇦 message me for free downloads, always.

The Black Quill is a musical duet of Dmitry Kolganov and Mira Shadranis — a dark fantasy writer and his muse. It’s a dialogue between pain and understanding, between the one who creates and the one who inspires.
Each album is a story. Each song — a confession torn from silence; what we don’t talk about.
The sound balances between dark ambient, brutal deathcore, cinematic score and depressive ballad, creating a sonic world where the soul stands face to face with itself.

Melodic hardcore urgency meets emotional post-hardcore chaos and atmospheric metalcore. Heavy, expressive, and cathartic.

FFO: State Faults, Comeback Kid, Turnstile, Loathe, Spiritbox, The Contortionist, Refused, AFI, The Black Dahlia Murder, Portrayal of Guilt, Chat Pile.

kass.fm

𝖘𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖜𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖇𝖊𝖆𝖚𝖙𝖎𝖋𝖚𝖑 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖘𝖊𝖉

Punk trans musician. Screaming my soul out :3

New tracks tagged #Post-Hardcore