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culver

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Cheese Wars

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reniform

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I'm part of something larger, a cycle I can't feel

Cycle Starts Anew

The Brief and Tumultuous History of Turple-Derchuk Motors
Founding Visionaries

In early 1972, two eccentric British-Canadian engineers, Reginald Turple and Sir Albert Derchuk, joined forces to create a car that would revolutionize the automotive industry. With a combined wealth of unconventional ideas and a surplus of optimism, they founded Turple-Derchuk Motors in a small workshop on the outskirts of Corman Park, Saskatchwan.

Turple, an avid tinkerer with a penchant for impractical designs, believed that cars should be unique, unrestrained by traditional aesthetics or logic. Derchuk, a retired baron with a fondness for extravagant and unnecessary features, shared this vision. Their flagship model, the Hogg 1700S, was conceived as a vehicle that would stand out on Canadian prairie roads.

Released in late 1972, the Hogg 1700S was a marvel of misguided ambition. The car's design was a curious mix of sharp angles, clashing colors, and inexplicably placed vents and fins. Its boxy structure was an affront to aerodynamics, and its 1700cc engine, while adequately powerful, was notoriously unreliable.

From the beginning, the company was plagued by a series of misfortunes. The first batch of Hogg 1700S cars rolled off the production line with doors that wouldn't close properly, a trunk that required a mallet to open, and an electrical system prone to spontaneous combustion. Instead of addressing these issues, Turple insisted they added "character" to the vehicle.

The company’s workforce was a motley crew, handpicked for their enthusiasm rather than their expertise. The head of design, Nigel "Wheels" Thompson, was a former bicycle mechanic with no formal training in automotive engineering. The marketing department, led by Derchuk's cousin, Lady Penelope, focused on emphasizing the car’s uniqueness, often highlighting its flaws as selling points.

By mid-1973, Turple-Derchuk Motors was in dire straits. Warranty claims skyrocketed, and customer complaints poured in. The final blow came when a scandal erupted over the use of substandard materials, leading to a mass recall of the Hogg 1700S. The company’s finances, already stretched thin by Turple's insistence on funding a prototype amphibious car, collapsed entirely.

On a rainy day in January 1974, Turple-Derchuk Motors declared bankruptcy, just 13 months after the launch of the Hogg 1700S. Reginald Turple returned to his workshop, where he continued to invent, undeterred by his failure. Sir Albert Derchuk retired to his estate, where he spent his days reminiscing about what might have been.

Turple-Derchuk Motors remains a cautionary tale in automotive history, a testament to the perils of blending unbridled creativity with a lack of practical foresight.

Turple-Derchuk Hogg

Video: https://youtu.be/sbSw5mlUlS8?si=sVHtSF89mNuMxEbH

Tracklist:

1. branching
2. epigean
3. velum

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https://palence.bandcamp.com/album/velum-ep

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velum [EP]

Graduated from Corman Park College of Dental Numismatics in 1993, with a graduate degree in Experimental Post-Sludge.

mchorsebones@gmail.com

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