I built a fortress 'round my heart, a citadel of fear
A checklist of the reasons I should keep you out of here
Then brick by brick, I started, the dismantling was slow
For the first time in forever, I had somewhere I could go
I whispered to the shadows, "This is it, this is the fall"
I took a breath and silenced every single warning call
I let the drawbridge down, and I stood there, open, bare
The bravest thing I ever did was standing with you there.

And just when I was ready, when the fight in me was won
You looked me in the eyes and said, "What's done is simply done."
You fed me lines of circumstance, a coward's weak disguise
While my own battle scars were still fresh beneath my eyes
I fought a war inside myself, and I emerged for you
Just to find the battlefield was empty when I broke through.

You said the world was complicated, said the timing wasn't right
Said you couldn't be the anchor in my newly offered light
You talked of storms and pressures, of a strength you didn't have
After I had conquered every single fear I ever had.

I shouted from the rooftops, you just mumbled in the hall
I was ready to give everything, you weren't ready for the fall
I let the drawbridge down, and I stood there, open, bare
The bravest thing I ever did was standing with you there.

And just when I was ready, when the fight in me was won
You looked me in the eyes and said, "What's done is simply done."
You fed me lines of circumstance, a coward's weak disguise
While my own battle scars were still fresh beneath my eyes
I fought a war inside myself, and I emerged for you
Just to find the battlefield was empty when I broke through.

Don't you dare blame the universe for the choice you made alone
I was ready to move mountains, you were ready to be stone.
My victory was hollow, my freedom came too late
The greatest battle was with a ghost I chose to create.

And I WAS ready! When the fight in me was WON!
You looked me in the eye and said, "What's done is simply done!"
You fed me LIES of circumstance, a coward's final prize!
While my own battle scars were still burning in my eyes!
I fought a war inside myself, and I emerged for YOU!
Just to find the man I fought for was a fool when I broke through!

The bravest thing I ever did...
Was trusting you.

My Fight

Sunshine and thunder, a constant rotation
A lesson in love, a cruel education
The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows
But what I learned from it is the only thing I know

Love bombs and charm, then the gaslighting starts
You played with my soul, you shattered my heart
You broke the deep trust that I placed in your hands
Just a pawn in the game of your wicked demands

I loved you deeper than I've ever been
But I loved a version I created within
A ghost in the daylight, a beautiful lie
That never truly walked beneath this sky
And that's the only thing I need to know
The only truth I have to show

I see you clearly now, the smoke has cleared
All the red flags I pretended not to hear
You're conflict-averse, you're irresponsible
Playing the victim is your favorite role

Love bombs and charm, then the gaslighting starts
You played with my soul, you shattered my heart
You broke the deep trust that I placed in your hands
Just a pawn in the game of your wicked demands

I loved you deeper than I've ever been
But I loved a version I created within
A ghost in the daylight, a beautiful lie
That never truly walked beneath this sky
And that's the only thing I need to know
The only truth I have to show

You're not a man, you're just a boy
Who never learned, who brought no joy
Your love was a contract, a list of demands,
Something to earn, not with heart, but with hands.
I accept what you are, I finally see
Your conditional love was a prison for me.

I loved you deeper than I've ever been!
But I loved a version I created within!
A ghost in the daylight, a beautiful lie
That never truly walked beneath this sky
And that's the only thing I need to know
The only truth I have to show

That's the only thing I need to know...
Yeah, that's the only thing I need to know.
I see you now.
I'm letting go.

Just a version

I got you confused with love
But you were just fear in disguise
I held on every day, though it was tearing me up inside
I held on every night, knowing it wasn't right
I endured, I waited, I cried
And missed you after I said goodbye

And I called it love, I called it love
Gave a pretty name to the thing I was so scared of
I dressed up the pain and called it love
Oh, I called it love

I thought you were my safe place
A shelter, my home, my rest
You felt so familiar, put my heart to the test
But the home I knew as a child was a shaky, wild ground
Never safe, never sound
And you brought that feeling back around

And I called it love, I called it love
Gave a pretty name to the thing I was so scared of
I dressed up the pain and called it love
Oh, I called it love

My nerves knew your tune, my heart skipped the same beat
That it learned in those old, cold rooms
I thought this feeling so deep, must be love
But the truth is so sharp, and it cuts, and it cuts...
I was never more terrified of anyone
Than I was of you

I'm never going back
I'm staying far from the dark you bring
You won't see me again.
This is love... for me.
This is love... for me.
This is love.

Scared of you

You say, "It must be you, the common thread"
"You're the reason that the other loves are dead"
You paint my past in shades of my own blame
A subtle way to stoke my silent shame
You say, "A real love wouldn't act this way"
Then watch and wait for what I have to say

And you quote "partnership" and "what is fair"
But your conditions leave me standing there...
With all the pieces of a soul you're trying to break.

You say, "This is not how it's done, in a love that's true"
Then in the next breath, tell me you "have no choice but to"
You say you're "only trying to help me be my best"
While tying anchors to my chest
You say, "Who are you? I don't know you anymore"
As you're the one who's slamming shut the door
You had your part to play, but now the curtain's fallin'
And I'm not answering your callin'.

You praise her discipline, her form, her frame
A not-so-subtle way to fan the flame
You say, "I couldn't leave, the fear's too great"
"To be alone with such a lonely fate"
You talk of "shared gardens," "shared expense"
It's just a web of false benevolence

And you claim "strength," but then you cry and plead
A tangled, twisted, selfish, desperate need...
For a guarantee I never could, and never would, make.

You say, "This is not how it's done, in a love that's true"
Then in the next breath, tell me you "have no choice but to"
You say you're "only trying to help me be my best"
While tying anchors to my chest
You say, "Who are you? I don't know you anymore"
As you're the one who's slamming shut the door
You had your part to play, but now the curtain's fallin'
And I'm not answering your callin'.

All your "helpful" questions were just traps in disguise
Your "sacrifices" were your own compromise
You wanted me to beg, to prove my worth to you
But the greatest truth I learned is this: your fear is not my truth.
You said the rules were always mine, a selfish, cruel design
But the only rule you had was "You must always still be mine... on my line."

You SAID that's not how it's done, in a love that's TRUE!
But your "no choice" was always just a lie to keep you safe with her, not me and you!
You weren't trying to help me be my best, you were trying to CONTROL my chest!
I know who I am, and I am NOT the one you knew before!
I'm the one who's walking out the door!
You had your part to play, and now the play is done!
And I'm not running... I've already won.
It was never about love.
It was never about love.
It was always about control.
And I... am letting go.

Narcissism

I used to hang on every word you'd say
Overthought every second of the day
Hoping for a sign, waiting for a clue
Thought my worth depended on you, but I always knew
Each message felt heavy, silence a fierce storm
Trying to mold myself into something not warm

And that feeling in my chest before I'd see you
I thought it was the thrill of something new
But it wasn't butterflies, just a quiet alarm
A whisper in my soul, saying "you're in harm"

I'm drawing a line, clear as the light
Won't put up with what never felt right
My value's my own to decide
The question's if I like how you're treating me now
I'm done with games, done with fear
I'm choosing myself, my path is clear

Why did I invest in a hollow place?
Trying to earn affection in a blank face?
I was never truly seen, just part of your show
A mirror for your issues, something I outgrew
This clarity isn't blame, it's not a scorned stone
It's the mark of a battle my heart has finally won

'Cause that feeling in my chest has faded away
Replaced by calm strength, telling me I'm okay
The panic wasn't passion, just my spirit's cry
A warning I'd ignored when looking in your eyes

I'm drawing a line, clear as the light
Won't put up with what never felt right
My value's my own to decide
The question's if I like how you're treating me now
I'm done with games, done with fear
I'm choosing myself, my path is clear

It's not a strategy, it's my soul's true state
A story I'm writing, in control of my fate
The less I need your echo, the more my voice sings
And that's the only ground for real connection's springs

I've drawn the line, clear as the light
No more accepting what never felt right
My value's my own to decide
The question's if I like how you're treating me now!
No more games, no more fear
I'm choosing myself, my path is clear

So I'll attract what I am, not just what I need
A chosen bond, honest and freed
No tricks, no tactics, just a resilient heart
Finally whole, right from the start.

No Butterflies

The calendar turns back the page, I know just where you'll be
Toasting to a memory that looks right through me
She's smiling in the kitchen, thinking life went as you'd planned
Not knowing that the story took a turn she doesn't understand

And I picture you both dancing in the soft and fading light
A perfect, peaceful picture that just doesn't feel quite right
For I know the hidden chapter, the one that we began
The secret that you're holding, while you're holding her hand
She thinks this day's a promise, a vow made to keep
I know it as the quiet where the secrets lie deep

You never meant for it to fall upon this hallowed ground
A coincidence of timing, or so it must sound
But now the day has two truths, the one she gets to see
And the one that's slowly, finally, setting me free

And I picture you both dancing in the soft and fading light
A perfect, peaceful picture that just doesn't feel quite right
For I know the hidden chapter, the one that we began
The secret that you're holding, while you're holding her hand
She thinks this day's a promise, a vow made to keep
I know it as the quiet where the secrets lie deep

I'm not a ghost to haunt you, I'm just a soul who knows
The weight of words unspoken, the debt your silence owes
And my pity isn't bitter, it's a gentle, quiet rain
Falling for the both of you, and all your silent pain

So on this day...
I'll just send a quiet thought into the blue...
One for the truth she has...
And one for the truth I knew.
Yes, for the truth I knew.

Unspoken

Prisoner of The Night

Senin Adın Bir Yara

'One of the most incredible and moving books that we've read, ever.' The High Performance Podcast 

 Sitting in the prison classroom each morning, reading the pages in my book, listening to the teacher, I could feel myself slowing down. I had achieved greatness. I had won three Wimbledon titles, two Aussie Opens, the US Open, two Davis Cups, an Olympic gold medal.

But where was I now?

Either I was some strange exception, a great man surrounded by lesser men, or I was not an exception at all. I fitted right in. And if I did, why was that?

Wimbledon champion at 17, six-time Grand Slam winner and former world number one – Boris Becker achieved unparalleled success, fame and wealth throughout his tennis career. But in April 2022, everything changed when he was sentenced to 30 months in prison over bankruptcy charges.

Inside offers a raw and unflinching account of Becker’s life behind bars, detailing the brutal realities of surviving two of the UK’s toughest prisons and the unexpected lessons in resilience that kept him going. Stripped of fame and fortune, Becker faced an entirely new world as inmate A2923EV, where nothing came easy.

More than a story of survival, Inside is about profound transformation. With brutal honesty, Becker reflects on the choices that led him to prison, confronting his mistakes and the price of fame. Through new relationships, hard-learned survival skills and the philosophy of Stoicism, he embarks on the difficult journey of rebuilding his life and shattered reputation.

This is the story of a legend who lost it all – how he survived, started again and found light in life’s darkest moments.

'It's a memoir, it's a thriller, it's a confessional, it's therapy. This book is unbelievable, [and] beautifully written. It couldn't be a crazier story…it's so gripping, I could not put it down.' Chris Evans

Inside: Winning. Losing. Starting again., By Boris Becker, Read by Boris Becker

'Chilling, atmospheric' Sunday Times

'Vivid and haunting' Emilia Hart

'Blisteringly brilliant' Anna Mazzola

Will she be damned by flame… or cursed by magic? 

 Innsbruck 1485

Helena should be doing what every other wealthy young wife is doing: keeping her husband’s house, bearing his children. But when their footman is found dead, Helena is accused of killing him. Worse, she is accused of being a witch.

Imprisoned with six other women, Helena is plunged into a world of terror. When a cursed witch totem is smuggled into the prison, the prisoners attempt to use it to escape only to unleash a malevolent spirit which places all their lives in danger.

Does Helena risk her life and the lives of others by standing up to the terrifying witchfinder and risk death at the stake if found guilty? Or is the real threat the world beyond this one…?

__________________________________

Readers LOVE The Last Witch:

"A phenomenal read” ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"A magical blend of horror, psychological thriller and historical fiction” ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"Another spellbinding masterpiece from C.J. Cooke, it is as haunting as it is heartbreakingly beautiful” ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"I must be in my witch phase, and this author has me hooked” ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"Another cracker by C.J. Cooke. I loved this one from beginning to end, rarely putting it down” ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

The Last Witch, By C.J. Cooke, Read by Olivia Vinall

Music is my medium to express my feelings and emotions. Every woman has a long and arduous journey behind her, is currently in a difficult situation, or is facing a new challenge. The lyrics I have written myself reflect my experiences and my past. With the help of AI, they were transformed into song lyrics, and the music was also generated by AI. I hope my music can offer you solace and comfort during these difficult times. Don't forget: Where there is love, there is never fear. Recognize your worth!

Publishers of award-winning fiction and non-fiction audiobooks for adults and children. Listen to exclusive clips from our books and free audioook extracts here on Soundcloud.

Symphony of Frequencies...
Dive into experimental beats, cinematic synths, and abstract visuals. Feel the rhythm, see the resonance, live the experience.

Sesin harekete dönüştüğü yer...
Deneysel ritimler, sinematik synth’ler ve soyut görsellerle kendinizi müziğin içinde hissedin.. 🤙

New tracks tagged #Prison