Language prison break, freestyle from 16th December 2024.





For most of my adult life, I abandoned, neglected, and severed myself from my mother tongue.  I lost my intuition and awkwardly struggled to form a sentence that sounded natural. I did not grasp how my ignorance limited my self-expression, growth, learning, communication, creativity. I was blind to all the ways I could  shape my reality if I only embraced the language I was traumatised, shamed, betrayed, and lied to in, long before I had any motive to memorise new labels for things I knew already (no kurwa jabłko jest zielone, po chuj ma być green?).

Anyway, I'm glad it fought its way back to me, and even though I wasn't happy at first, seeing it take over my freestyles, sometimes so angry, ready to give up, feeling so incapable I banned myself from listening to polish music (esp. rap). Today I see it as valid and welcome it as a part of who I am, what I do, and how I freestyle. I have a lot to learn, but I’ve come a long way since this track—one of my first mostly Polish freestyles. Soon it’ll be 10 months old.

I had no idea what to name it, the file was called "english lost again". 2 weeks I couldn't decide so I just wrote the first thing that came to mind 5 min ago. As long as  it's out so I can post more.

Cover: photo of a sticker at the Three Sins tattoo studio's cupboard in Amsterdam. Shoutout to Giulio who showed me "something random" when I requested that for the cover. The edit is some birthday filter I found funny, adjustments to it are for you to discover.


No matter the language, no matter the form of expression, my soul is unapologetically emo. If you got here, DM me to pick what you wanna hear next:
 a) emotional af ENG cry track
 b) latest hype free PL
 c) old but good chill groove
 d) random choice from 300 voice files.

jak widać

pole emo soul

Rock Spider

Produced by unknown/free beat from YouTube. If you’re the creator, DM me for credit or royalties.
All vocals, lyrics, and arrangements by Leila Kiani.

one way flight

[Intro]
Yeah…
Stumbled out my kitchen like it’s some cathedral,
Half-eaten cereal sittin’ like a sequel.
Phone screen cracked, but it still show me love,
Feels like the universe laugh when I look above.

[Verse 1]
I got a shoebox full of dreams under my bed,
Rent late again but I’m rich in my head.
Neighbors knockin’, say the music too loud,
But it’s therapy, baby, I’m drownin’ in the sound.
Couple empty bottles like trophies on the shelf,
Talkin’ to my past like it still knows itself.
Life’s a sitcom, I just play the fool,
Laughin’ at the mirror ‘cause it’s breakin’ all the rules.

[Chorus]
Oooooh, I’ve been fallin’ through the night,
Oooooh, tryna make the wrongs feel right.
Oooooh, got my demons in the rearview,
But I’m still ridin’, yeah, I’m still ridin

[Verse 2]
I left my notebook in the laundromat,
Now my rhymes smell fresh, can you top that?
Bus driver winked when I missed my stop,
Guess even the universe knows I can’t cope.
I got burnt toast with a side of hope,
Tryna tie these loose ends with a frayin’ rope.
But it’s funny, ain’t it? How the chaos sings,
I’m a queen with a gold crown from Burger King.

[Chorus]

Oooooh, I’ve been fallin’ through the night,
Oooooh, tryna make the wrongs feel right.
Oooooh, got my demons in the rearview,
But I’m still ridin’, yeah, I’m still ridin’.

[Bridge]

Tell my landlord I paid in laughter,
Tell my past self “happily ever after.”
World’s on fire, but I found me a match,
Light another verse, let the smoke detach.

[Final Chorus]

Oooooh, I’ve been fallin’ through the night,
Oooooh, tryna make the wrongs feel right.
Oooooh, got my demons in the rearview,
But I’m still ridin’, yeah, I’m still ridin’.

Side of Hope

voices r plastic

citybelow

would u notice?

ashs fall

everysteppullingtight

beauty in endings

👂💧 Somewhere in the same city lives the guy with the big ears — arrogant, manipulative, a human word-pretzel machine who feeds on your trust like it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet. Not far away lives the guy with the big tears — an emotional waterfall in sneakers, hugging everyone’s pain like it’s his full-time job.

This track is their soundtrack.
One twists, one weeps.
One builds walls, one breaks hearts.
Both deserve their own Netflix series, but instead they ended up in my jangle-pop / indie-rock fever dream.

Turn it up loud, cry a little, laugh a little, and remember:
👉 The guy with the big ears is not like the guy with the big tears.

Lyrics:

The guy with the big ears,
he twists your words, he twists your fears.
He takes your trust, he breaks it down,
he wears a smile but it’s a crown.

And the guy with the big tears,
he cries for love, he cries for years.
He carries hearts, he carries pain,
he gives it all and gets no gain.

The guy with the big ears,
is not like the guy with the big tears…
The guy with the big ears,
is not like the guy with the big tears…

Oh — pain in my heart, oh — tears never stop,
cry for the broken, cry till we drop.
The guy with the big ears,
is not like the guy with the big tears…

The guy with the big ears,
he never bleeds, he never hears.
He builds his walls, he hides his face,
he leaves behind an empty place.

But the guy with the big tears,
he’s love and loss, he’s hope and fears.
He holds your hand, he feels your night,
he breaks in dark, but he burns in light.

The guy with the big ears,
is not like the guy with the big tears…
The guy with the big ears,
is not like the guy with the big tears…

Always alone, forever in fear,
crying for love, crying right here.
The guy with the big ears,
is not like the guy with the big tears…

Tears… tears… tears…
Hearts… hearts… broken hearts…
The guy with the big ears,
is not like the guy with the big tears…

The guy with the big ears

Early demo of Birthday, a sad lullaby style track about longing and winter and isolation

Birthday (2021 DEMO)

anna puu – säännöt rakkaudelle (cash clubmix / unofficial remix, made for fun and love for the original song. No copyright intended.)

SÄÄNNÖT RAKKAUDELLE - cash clubmix

This one’s for anyone who wakes up with a chest full of bricks and still says, “Screw it, let’s go.” 💀☕

It’s not a sad song, it’s a TROTZ-song — the German art of staring at misery, flipping it the finger, and turning it into karaoke with a broken beer glass in hand.

“Hey! Hey! Heavy Hearts! Rock my soul with best regards!”
That’s the anthem, the toast, the crooked crown.

So yeah, call it emo, punk, cabaret, or just plain stubbornness — but this track proves that even sadness can stage-dive if you scream loud enough.

Crack a beer, grin at the cracks, clap off-beat, and let the heavy heart drag you straight onto the dance floor. 🥊🎶🍻

Lyrics:

Wake up, chest feels like a stone,
Carry it with me, it’s mine alone.
Coffee’s bitter, sky’s all gray,
But I smirk and shout, “Let’s start the day!”

Every sigh, every drag, every bruise I collect,
Heavy hearts train me harder than I ever expect.
I won’t bow, won’t fall apart,
This iron weight just makes my art.

Hey! Hey! Heavy Hearts!
Rock my soul with best regards!
You can pull, but I won’t drown,
I’ll wear you proud like a crooked crown. 

Daylight mocks me, streets look mean,
But I grin at the cracks where I’ve already been.
Sadness sings like a broken band,
I clap off-beat with a beer in hand.

Every night, every fight, every tear I disguise,
I throw back my laugh, spit right in the skies.
My sorrow’s sharp, but I’m sharper still,
Trotz on my tongue, unbreakable will.

Hey! Hey! Heavy Hearts!
Rock my soul with best regards!
You can drag, but I won’t crawl,
I’ll turn your weight into a drunken brawl. 

If I sleep — I dream in steel,
If I can’t — I dance, I deal.
Pain’s a joke I love to twist,
Life’s a fist, I clench my fist.

Hey! Hey! Heavy Hearts!
Rock my soul with best regards!
Sing your dirge, I’ll sing it too,
But louder, prouder, TROTZIG through!

Heavy Hearts

Check me out on Apple Music & Spotify! 💕
Doksy. is a songwriter from British Columbia, whose music blends the soulful rhythms of indie, contemporary R&B, and psychedelic pop.

#Doksy. #Songwriter #Instrumental #Vocal #Producer

I turn my hell upside down.
In pursuit of despair, breathing recycled air.

just a vocalist/lofi artist trying to find her way

Hi there — welcome to my corner of the web.

I’m here for one simple reason: to share my music with you.
Take a listen, explore, and I hope something here resonates with you. Enjoy the vibe!

New tracks tagged #SADGIRL