Self Checkout2

A high-energy cinematic trap rant wrapped in absurdity and drama, Self-Checkout Is Gaslighting Me turns a mundane trip to the grocery store into an existential retail spiral. Punchy orchestral swells meet glitched trap beats as the lyrics spiral from frustration to full-blown rebellion. It's stoner humor meets club banger—perfect for anyone who's ever been betrayed by a plastic kiosk and left questioning reality in Aisle 12. Turn it up, laugh through the chaos, and start the revolution—with exact. damn. change.

Lyrics:

They said it would be faster.
They said it would be convenient.
But they never warned us...
...about the bagging area.

You stand there—innocent.
Just tryna buy two things: chips and deodorant.
But the screen says “Please wait for assistance,”
Now you’re sweating like you stole a damn infant.

I came with a mission, I had a plan,
But now I'm locked in a checkout stand.
Lights blinking like judgment day,
Just me, my Funyuns, and corporate dismay.

Unexpected item? Nah bro, that’s my soul.
I set it down gently—this bag had a goal.
But now the robot thinks I’m a thief,
All because I blinked too slow beneath my grief.

Self-checkout is gaslighting me,
I scanned it once, not f***ing three.
It asked for my loyalty, then betrayed my trust—
Took my dignity and charged me plus tax.
(Oooohhh, you cold-hearted screen...)
You don't know what “unexpected” means!

You ever try to weigh a single peach?
It’ll make you question free speech.
Typed “fruit,” hit “produce,” saw 9,000 grapes—
Hit “banana” by mistake, now fate escapes.

I reached for a coupon—screen went black.
Assistant walked by like, “Nah, I’m not paid for that.”
Now I’m standing here, judged by machines,
While a Karen behind me just screams.

“Please place item in bagging area”
YOU MEAN THIS ONE? I DID, MARIA!
(Yes, I named her. Don’t ask why.)
She’s cold. She’s heartless. She watched me cry.

Self-checkout is gaslighting me,
I swear I scanned that rotisserie.
It beeped! I saw it! The light turned green!
Now it’s acting like that beep was a dream.
(Ohhh, you emotionally abusive kiosk...)
I deserve better than your plastic facade.

If automation is the future…
Why can’t it find avocados?
Why do I need a staff member to approve gum?
...Why does it feel like this machine knows my trauma?

Self-checkout is gaslighting me,
Corporate betrayal via touch screen.
It said I saved $0.02 today—
But it cost me my will to live anyway.
(No bag, no soul, no peace...)
I just wanted string cheese.

I left with tears… and two Lunchables.
And a receipt that could wrap the moon.
Self-checkout…
You won this time.
But I’ll be back.
With exact. Damn. Change.

Self Checkout Is Gaslighting Me

I built Shiitake Products because the world needed a home for beautiful nonsense and soul-splitting truth.

Sometimes that looks like a dancefloor meltdown at 2am.
Sometimes it's a button that says "Mildly Okay Human."
Sometimes it's a whispered hymn to grief.

It's all real. It's all me.
This is my multiverse—and you're invited.
Here, AI collides with human emotion to create music that actually means something. From dark trap bangers to cinematic alt-rock anthems, from emo-folk confessionals to glitch-satire ballads—every track is a story, a mood, a moment.
Not built for algorithms. Built to feel.
🎧 Genres? Trap. EDM. Alt-rock. Rap-rock. Folk. Comedy. Chaos.
🧠 Themes? Rage. Love. ADHD spirals. Existential dread. Healing. Heartbreak. Hope.
🎯 Mission? To punch through the noise—and hit something real.
🔥 Want your story turned into a song? I do that.
🎁 Every listen helps fund more sonic experiments, more weird merch, and more beautiful noise.
🔗 Links:
🎶 Spotify: open.spotify.com/artist/7Hk4B9nLJs5XwqQEqOdMaU
🍎 Apple Music: music.apple.com/us/artist/shiitakeproducts/1766960367
☕ Support / Custom Songs: ko-fi.com/shiitakeproducts
🌐 More chaos: shiitakeproducts.com
⚠️ Marketers & "design bros" beware: I will waste your time on purpose.

New tracks tagged #SELF CHECKOUT