happy birthday to me. decided to make a project for my birthday in the space of 2 weeks (woefully inadequate time 😭) and here it is 💜. please forgive the mixing and recording quality. again, this was all done in 2 weeks, and these are all bedroom recordings, not done in proper studio space with proper noise treatment, and obviously it’s rushed work compared to how i usually make projects. but the point of this was not to make the perfect project, it was just to gift myself something for my birthday. so, despite the chinks, again, here we go! 

also, be warned. you’re going to hear some silly, sensitive, dark, weird, not so pleasant to the ear stuff sometimes. that’s just me being me 🤷🏾‍♀️ lol. take me as i am! 

here’s to 33

for all my bloody wankers

fuck that, this is the real outro

Host Jason Schreurs and Rid of Me vocalist and bassist Itarya Rosenberg discuss suicidal ideation and how confronting the concept of death makes him appreciate the positive things around him. Itarya explains how making noise and writing songs for the band has saved his life. Literally.

http://ridofme.bandcamp.com

Featured song clips:
Rid of Me - "Hell of It" from Access To The Lonely (Knife Hits Record, 2023)
Nirvana - "Sliver" from Incesticide (DGC, 1992)
Rid of Me - "Hell of It" from Access To The Lonely (Knife Hits Record, 2023)
Rid of Me - "Libertarian Noise Rock" from Access To The Lonely (Knife Hits Record, 2023)

The SCREAM THERAPY BOOK is now available! Scream Therapy: A Punk Journey through Mental Health is a memoir-plus that has been heralded by New York Times best-selling authors. Like the podcast, it links the community-minded punk rock scene with the mental wellness of the punks who belong to it.

ORDER A COPY OF THE BOOK!
screamtherapyhq.com/book

SCREAM THERAPY MERCH!
teepublic.com/user/scream-therapy

About this podcast:
Scream Therapy explores the link between punk rock and mental health. My guests are members of the underground music scene who are living with mental health challenges, like myself.

Intro/background music clips:
Submission Hold - "Cranium Ache"
Render Useless - "The Second Flight of Icarus"

Contact host Jason Schreurs - screamtherapypodcast@gmail.com

Episode 91: Itarya Rosenberg of Rid of Me on facing suicidal thoughts

Finished February 9, 2025
© Thomas James 2025. All Rights Reserved.
Image by alswart / Adobe Stock

https://open.substack.com/pub/thecrookedcircle/p/who?r=1v0hbs&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

This poem is published in The Crooked Circle, and individual collective of structured Anarchy on Medium and Substack.

Finished February 9, 2025
© Thomas James 2025. All Rights Reserved.
Image by Tryfonov / Adobe Stock

https://thecrookedcircle.substack.com/p/imagine

This poem was published in The Crooked Circle, an individualist collective of structured anarchy on Substack.

Imagine

real.m4a

Vrelmôzûnrâx ëlzhûnthal-kselvûn halthunævûn gravvînthal, ēndrashekûn zharvûn… nālthûmux zhelkûn.

Vrelzharvâlnûm kthralôgzûmh âdravîlth, krêphulmûl xhouvês zhelûnth veðrûn.

Nîrshalvûn xhøvêlskûn, thrêzolvûn zharvûn, krêzolvûn êlthûmux…

103 111 111 100 98 121 101 46 46 46

conversing_about_god_whilst_the_autistic_kid_digs_into_the_ground_with_his_hands_the_wind_blowing

A raw voice memo entirely self written in under an hour and recorded in one take during a breakdown from my hospital bed, while dealing with chronic illness, severe pain, and a mental health spiral. Melody was created exclusively from my voice and emotions. No studio. No instruments. Just me, my voice, my pure, raw emotions, and everything I’ve been feeling for years that I finally found the courage to say. 
This is Makeupless Heart.
Here are the very words that kept me functioning and alive… they’ve already changed one life due to its resonance and vulnerability, I truly hope they can change yours too! Thank you so much for listening! 

V1: 
The clock was set an hour ahead 
Daylight savings, confined to a bed
Passage of time as fast as spilling wine, 
My brain diminished in size four fucking times 
Degradation of me compromised
In the mirror I see a ghostly spy, 
Gone in color, trying to find the brushes to fix… 

Pre Chorus: 
If I turned off my makeupless heart 
Would my care resuscitate me with a spark?
Would turning off the bright light my dark? 

Chorus: 
The empathy that’s within my veins, the love overflowing within me 
The hunters and foxes are stealing my youth 
Fish stuck on the line you can’t let loose 
The nightmarish echoes, that scar me from truth 
If I turn them off, will my dreams come true? 
Or will I lose all point of view, and strip everything that was my glue 

V2: 
The past tense turned to present tense 
Metastasizing my depleted head 
Looking through contacts, a viewpoint that can’t be hid 
The bear that saved its cub rips off my flesh
Verifying the reality in my knotted head 
The song that was irrelevant, years later gained recognition 
Isn’t that what led to gunshots in the head? 
No one listens, until lowering you in the grave bed. 
Scared shitless, wrapping their mind around any clues that led. 

Chorus: 
The apathy that’s within my veins, turned to ice from bloody hands of chivalry. 
Dinosaurs reversed extinction just for me 
Being left in the world I’m held captive in by my fucking feet
The nightmarish screams, that deformed my proof
That existence is more than an immortal shattered roof 
I turned them off, my dreams never came true
I lost all point of view, I stripped everything that was my glue

Outro: 
I put makeup on a makeupless heart.. 
I put makeup on a heart that’s torn apart.

Tags: singer-songwriter, raw vocals, folk, emotional, voice memo, chronic illness, mental health, depression, suicidal ideation, grief, poetry, alternative, lupus, disabled, heartbroken

Makeupless Heart (Voice Memo)

CARTA PARA MIS FANS ECHA EN UNA SESIÓN CONTINUA EN AISLAMIENTO, ADIOS HASTA PRONTORNO

CONFESIÓN 3 - LOS PIBES BASADOS

CONFESIÓN 2 - CUANDO YO NACÍ SE PARÓ EL MUNDO

CONFESIÓN 7 - ME VOY CON EL CABUM

CONFESIÓN 1 - ADICTO AL SEXO (INTRO)

CONFESIÓN 4 - LAS BOLAS MALOLIENTES

CONFESIÓN 6 - PASAMOS AL MERODEO

CONFESIÓN 5 - POR DIOS VERGAS

CONTENT WARNING: This episode includes candid discussion of depression, burnout, and suicidal ideation. Please listen with care and prioritize your well-being.

What does it mean to truly feel alive after you’ve nearly lost yourself? This week, I’m joined by Rachel Molenda — DJ, entrepreneur, and founder of Reunion, a women’s dance party movement rooted in joy, community, and remembering who you are.

But before Rachel was creating space for others to heal and dance, she was navigating a deep, disorienting depression that brought her to the brink. In this conversation, she speaks honestly about what it was like to be in that place — when even getting through the day felt impossible — and how music, movement, and community slowly helped her find her way back to herself.

We talk about:

What it feels like when your light starts to go out
The role of dance and movement in emotional regulation
The pressure to “heal” before feeling joy again — and why that’s backwards
The link between nervous system health and our capacity to experience joy
How creativity, connection, and radical honesty became Rachel’s way through
Rachel's courage in sharing her story is a powerful reminder that joy and sorrow aren’t opposites — they’re companions. That remembering who you are sometimes begins when everything else has fallen away. And that healing doesn’t always happen in stillness — sometimes it happens in motion.

Learn more about Rachel and her work:

Follow @rachelmmolenda on Instagram
Join the @thereuniondanceparty movement
Visit her website at rachelmmolenda.com
Host/Producer/Writer/Director: Jenn St John

Editor: Andrew Schiller
Website: www.jennstjohn.ca
Follow along:
Instagram: @jenn_stjohn
LinkedIn: Jenn St John

If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need to hear it too.

Subscribe, leave a review, or just send a little love—your support helps these conversations reach the people who need them most.

Alive

I am a poet on Medium. Is that short enough? It said the shorter, the better, and I want to do a good job. I don't want to make anyone at SoundCloud mad at me because I typed too much about myself. I'm not even really all that interesting. I'm just this guy, you know?

AJAAAAAA AJAAAAAA NO SE PUEDE EVITAR LA MUSICA REAL

Hi, I’m Jenn, and I’m passionate about transforming the conversation around mental health through creativity, connection, and advocacy. Nearly 50 years of life have taught me that we all carry shadows—stories that shape who we are and how we show up in the world. My story began with the challenges of growing up with a parent battling undiagnosed mental illness, an experience that deeply influenced my resilience, empathy, and innovative spirit.

Makeupless Heart (Voice Memo) OUT NOW! 

Hi, I’m Amber Thompson and I’m 23 years old from Southern California! I’m a chronically ill and bedridden singer-songwriter and poet whose lyrics are my lungs and only coping mechanism. I write all my songs from my hospital bed, using nothing but my notes app, voice memos, and a body that’s constantly in agonizing pain, but still fights everyday to create art to help me survive. I write lyrics that many others can relate to, but some songwriters may be too afraid to say out loud. 

Everything you hear on this page was written and created in a matter of 45 minutes to a few hours. No instruments, no studio, just pure, raw emotions transformed into song. I compose melodies with my voice alone, channeling grief, desire, chronic illness, mental health spirals, trauma, sexual assault, heartbreak, religious struggles amongst suffering, and love so powerful it can awaken and restructure someone else’s nervous system permanently. My songs are made to be felt in the bones and heart, by a voice that makes you feel seen and less alone. That’s why I’m releasing voice memos with my raw vocals and no instruments: I’m not chasing trends. I’m pulling truth out of the void and helping people understand themselves better. 

Some of my influences musically and lyrically are: Taylor Swift (especially her Folklore, Evermore, The Tortured Poets Department eras), Lana Del Rey, Hozier, Fiona Apple, Florence + the Machine, Ethel Cain, Julien Baker, Gracie Abrams, Noah Kahan, Phoebe Bridgers, etc, and many years of unspoken pain, illness, trauma, and hardship. But most of all, I’m influenced by what hasn’t been said yet, including the topics millions silently carry everyday. The things that live beyond genres and inside existential crises, grief, and the dark corners no one else dares to touch lyrically. 

I’ve written over 30+ fully finished songs (and counting) that span alternative to country, folk to indie, singer-songwriter breakdowns and acoustic ballads, with many songs written that don’t seem to fit in an existing genre because they’re creating one. My debut track that’s out now, “Makeupless Heart (Voice Memo)”, is a raw voice memo recorded during a breakdown. No production. Just pure heartbreak and feminine rage. Its vulnerability and resonance already changed one life. It could possibly change yours.

I write and sing not just for myself, but for survivors everywhere. My future vision includes starting a foundation for chronic illness and mental health support, and donating proceeds from certain songs to suicide prevention, sexual assault healing, and invisible illness advocacy. Because music should do more than entertain, it should rescue and heal. 

If you’re an artist, label, or collaborator who hears what I’m doing and feels it in your chest.. please reach out to me, let’s talk. Because I’m just getting started, and can’t wait to see how far this music can reach.

For labels, artists, producers, or anyone who feels this in their chest…: 
📩 amberthompsonmusic@gmail.com
📷 @ambertthompsonn

Scream Therapy is a podcast about using punk rock as a catalyst for mental health. My guests are other members of the punk music scene who, like me, have lived experience with mental health challenges. 

SUPPORT SCREAM THERAPY: BUY SOME MERCH!
teepublic.com/user/scream-therapy

Contact host Jason Schreurs - screamtherapypodcast@gmail.com

New tracks tagged #SUICIDAL IDEATION