ah(ah) ah(ahh) ah(ah) ahh(aahh)

ive been killin my emotions since im borne and since i died
i am feeling guilty like its all my fault like im hand of the god
theres a spider in ur cereal and watch out cause he might bite
theres a spider in my feelings and hes eating it all out

ive been killin my emotions since im dead and since i died
and i got nothing left in me but wtf else do u got
youve been stealin stealin stealin ive been ghost my entire life
and youvesteal me watch the cealing invisible piece of shite

ive been killin my emotions since im dead and since im young
i am feeling guilty like its all my fault like im hand of the god
theres a spider in my feelings and a monster in my guts
theres a devil at the evening and an angel in my heart

theres a knife in my hand in my hand hand of god
what u got what u god fear the knife what the fuck


hand of god

i watched me gettin involved
im watchin fall of my soul
close one is dead so im stone
the angel the guard its all gone
the sppider web makes me levitate
hollow mind hollow brain im just far away
u dont wanna see the dark u dont wanna play
u dont wanna see the knife in me all the way
she asks me if i feel alone 
i dont ah-i dont know 
who am I and why im so low
lost in the abyss im lost

oh since ive gone cold
mold me into the most fitting piece
im begging take my soul
not much left of who i used to be
u took a part of me
walked away silently
creeping up on me
ive had enough of me
ive given up on me
unspoken tragedy
im breaking down to feel
things i never seen
im trying not to heal

spider web makes me levitate w/Nosgov (@ripkanashi, @mikeAl0ne)

selfprod

i dont fuckin have no time
i dont fuckin have no time 
i dont fuckin have no time
i dont fuckin have no time

just kill me if im still alive
be dead its a matter of the time
got death all around, on my mind
and i got a reason for that

my heart is cold for now
and i got a reason for that
and i got a good reason for that

my leg is all in blood
my body all in scars
and my vission be all black 

i dont fuckin have no time for that for that no
i dont fuckin have no time for that for that no  
i dont fuckin have no dreams no hopes no purpose in my life no
i dont fuckin have no matter no view no sound arund my odd world 


do you wish to share this curse?

mv:|: https://youtu.be/YQtXSz_hW5M?si=Fl8dcSLNE9K4aGd2

selfprod

got a chains on me cut my hand just to free from that
we a hunters you dont want to see us in the night
lost in the shadow its a hidden place u cannot find
lost in the martyr mindset ill got u freed from that 

i lost time and space space space now its undefined
my loss hurts much u wont get that
im freaked out watching pics from my fuckin previous life
sword in my shadow hand u hope u wont see that
u wont see my
real face seeya
razor dream
i hope i bleed out
red on clothes
now got to clean up
i dont got no warm
u feel that?

do u feel that?
cause i fuckin feel that
everymorning i wake up
in my synthlife
every morning i wake up 
as a dreamer
now i got big hole to fill up

now i got big hole
now i got big hole to bleed out
now i got big hole 
now i got big hole to bleed out
and it bleeds non stop
and i got no hope
and i got no view no vision

u wont see my
real face seeya
razor dream
i hope i bleed out
red on clothes
now got to clean up
i dont got no warm
u feel that?
10 o'clock
in a endless dream ah
like clot bitch
as i liveth
and im angry for a reason
and i hate life for a reason

lost in space lost in time (mv in desc)

"ケセラセラ" by Mrs. GREEN APPLE remixed with "Spirit's Eve Festival" by ConcernedApe (from the Stardew Valley soundtrack).

Eek! I'm too scared.

スピリット

ive been so excited just to open fuckin eyes
guess its not important if im ugly if im odd
bloomin bloomin roses 
its so cold there
emotion
loving heart

i like to cut myself 
drip the blood like man
its a warfare
just me and myself 
just the two of us
walkin in the night
and i feel disgust
angel in disguise
serpent in disguise
rotten sealed heart

bloomin bloomin roses
its so cold there
emotions
its over
bloomin bloomin roses
goner
in the forest
im a lostman

im a lostman 
lostman lostman
in the forest im a lostman

i like to cut myself 
drip the blood like man
its a warfare
just me and myself 
u can call me dumb
but im rather braindead
what im feeling its like bet
rotten sigil of my hand


lost in the forest

whatever thou art, stay away
seeker of fire, you know not the depths of dark within you. It grows deeper still, the more flame you covet.
I beg, the spred of the abyss must be stopped
oh, Sif there you are
all of you, forgive me

- dont die!

for i have availed nothin

goodbye queelag,
do be safe
forgive me

dont care, i wanna dont care
daily insomnia, im gonna kill my brain again
dont die, nobody wont die
pain in my stomach, meds are remainder of the death
isolate for me, for sake;
buphrenorphin is calling my name, better stay away
show u pain, no need for safe
i wont avail no more just stay away

(dont die)
just stay away
(goodbye queelag, do be safe)
imma isolate
for safe
buphrenorphin is callin my but better stay away

dont die, nobody wont die @rottenspirit

i am
not much there
to make something 
and make my name
water
and then i fade
ive got no flame
found new bad way

and i v got no sight 
and i v got no sight 
and i v got no sight 
and i v got no sight 

in the middle of nowhere
somewhere
in this room there is no air
im okay
havin visions of no space
(no face)
now i wanna be nowhere

no sight

selfprod self:harm

lyrics;
i fade like shit
like you do
cant take back this
unusual
i perish 
've lost the mood you
made me feel like
im not with you
suicide thoughts ridin 'round like crazy
i empty the bottle i hate me
i perish 
ive lost the mood you
made me feel, made me feel
like you do
im empty 
im empty 
im empty 
i empt this
i hate it
im empty
im empty
im empty
i empty
its vacant
im swerving
im swaying
i hate me
im laying
inside my shit i perish
you hate me
you make me
i swear my guts be burning
you made me feel irrelevant
you made me feel im not in there
i dont find it fun
its time to despise
and u sayin shit
like its not your fault
how im sleepin now
eyes be closin up
were i sippin now
id be throwin up
i dont find it fun
i dont find it fun
and u sayin shit
like its not your fault
how im sleepin now
eyes be closin up
were i sippin now
id be throwin up
felt lost now
on trip to losttown
im a sleepman
walkin thru the ghosts that
be killin me they be killin me
stop thinkin that shit
stop changin the themes
im not the one
to be held hostage
i came to you
and got the supportage
on the outside smokin cig cause im so sad
now im sleepman
u be walking thru my ghost sad
i empty
its vacant
im swerving
im swaying
i hate me
im laying
inside my shit i perish

perish

new hope in me
fadin faster trusting it
things happening
know its only destiny
new scary shit
woke up next to despair with
sword on me
got a magic sword on me

am i safe?
with blade, i might be
desire
its why i like it
dead spider
im crawling crawling
dont know me
i dont know nothing

dead mindset, a hollow body
it hurts and u know its nothing
tears drop but i cant see nothin
im a hollow bitch, sorrow in me, rest in peace

im a hollow bitch fuck it up im hollow, bitch
im a hollow bitch seeking pleasure type of shit
tears drop but i cant see nothin
all the things i need, urges in me type of shit

am i safe?
with blade, i might be
desire
its why i like it
dead spider
im crawling crawling
dont know me
i dont know nothing

and i got a blade, so i'm safe

prod by @ rottenspirit

never ripp apart again where im gonna go
i got trousers bloody reddy and im walkin' round the hall
bleedin' round the corridor
and ive gotta take control
you know nothing
you don/t know
i am bleeding, i/m a soap
it/s way to cope
and i feel real oh
and i feel things oh
and to free my thoughts
the way to cope
bad way to cope
whiplashing huh
whiplashing oh
it's all my fault
and it's al my fault
(It's akk your fault!)
it's all my fault
whiplashing ah
it's all my fault
whiplashing huh
its; all my fault
and its all my fault
and its all my fault
and its all my fault
always guilty oh
you dont know my loss
You don't know my loss
you don;t know my loss
you don't know my loss
it/s way to cope
and i feel real oh
and i feel things oh
and to free my thoughts
the way to cope
bad way to cope
whiplashing huh
whiplashing oh

(it's all my fault)(it's all my fault)
(it's all my fault)
(it's all my fault)
 
(Please God)
(It's all your fault)

whiplashing

music video: https://youtu.be/80AmusgT910?si=i6eWMMOWiLzfZcUd

no pills that im slave to
i got nowhere i blame you  
hate shit on me
im awful but thankful
i got no new cuts
but i got a vision now
and i lost a vision that
would show me how to live my life
still dont know how to live my life
so hesitate till im a shit
the way of finding out tonight
is harder than feeling the peace
cause im always feeling peace
but its more like a lack of feelings
hatred in you i feel it just spit it
i was bed tucked in it yeah
rot like shit i am
and as i started to forget
i started to forgive
im just sittin yeah
im just starrin yeah
then i just started to remember
what you said to me
i cannot open up
you will hurt me
not the way you want
im starrin at the wall
at your heart
seeing dark and bright
in exactly perfects halfs
and its hard
to have some thoughts bout that
you need someone to talk
but ive never fuckin talked with anyone
'bout something i feel
'bout something i do
'bout something i hate
never been sincere and open like you
im just ridin 'round 
with my bleeding leg 
with my bleeding arm
with my broken health
with the urge
with my broken heart

im just starrin at the dark 
starrin starrin at the dark
starrin starrin at the depths
and its soothing and its fine
i dont need to see the light
i dont need to feel the time
i dont need to feel my body
feel my feelings feel the hights

no pills that im slave to
i got nowhere i blame you  
hate shit on me
im awful but thankful
i got no new cuts
but i got a vision now
and i lost a vision that
would show me how to live my life

no pills that im slave to
but im enslaved
got dreams and visions that i forget
i hate me doin that i hate me bad
i suffer the aches i writhe in painn

vacuum @rottenspirit

The first single from my beat tape, Seishin. A project to aims to show reverence to the will of spirit in creation. 

Using only Japanese Soul samples from a variety of different eras, Seishin is both introspective, as well as light and uplifting, especially in a time where creativity is being broken down and discarded by a reliant counterpart.

Sunrise

selfprod selfscarred

i feel like behind
i feel like between
i wanna be dumb
dont wanna be me
i feel better now
reward for my sins
you made me do hide
youre getting with it
doing bad things took me to the better place
and as i wanted i set the pace
youve got some people cheering for your success
and im still steady ive got my hate
im still steady ive got my pain
ive got no will to live 
only will to create
i had no power to move my leg
and to overcome this i created that step
i live to create my own remembrance
to feel some fuckin experience
and i have perished to some extent
ive become no ghost i am what remains
i try so hard to proof that im worth living
in dreams i can see body with no life in it
ive found my goals wont let it cover by those seeings
by those feelings that i am feeling
i feel like behind
i feel like between
i wanna be dumb
dont wanna be me
i wanna be dead
its still not the time
i feel im behind
im feeling left out
you left me in the back
left me to rot
left me with nihil
left me with thoughts
and the worst
thing about that
is that you didnt mean to do it
no one ever has even wanted to hurt me
i must be lucky
they must think im dumb and ill believe that shit
im ashamed and shit 
im between the things
i feel like a pity fuckin teen and shit

lost sinner

dont worry heart

gettin sick its the night
you know you no longer mine?
escape from feels im sad
not tryna be human im done
gettin sick of this night
gettin sick of these days of fights
i loved with my fragile heart
my death made my sorrow passed by
i hate the reflection of me
while they hate whole idea of me
since kid i live resist
long time gone in my dreams
but, i dont wanna live die
seen too much people died
seen too much people high
how to cope with this shattered heart?
im livin this solitude
im a shadow thats hidden in no sight view
one stutter makes people forget like who
i am and the name of me 
i miss you
she said while i tried to
make her forget who
i am 
no clue
im livin this solitude
im a shadow thats hidden in no sight view
one stutter makes people forget like who
i am and the name of me 
i miss you
she said while i tried to
make her forget who
i am 
no clue

reflection of me / em fo noitcelfer @ripkanashi

im livin dead, im goin numb
im livin dead im goin numb
im livin dead im goin numb
im livin dead im goin numb
im livin dead im goin numb
im livin dead im goin numb
im livin dead im goin numb
and i aint never coming back
im livin dead im goin numb
i feel the vision in my eyes
i see the vision in my eyes
the seizure f$cker taking life
i was always nowhere, now
at place where im not satisfied
i dont know, what want, need the time
its cause im f$c$in hidin up
live dead, go numb, sleep lot in coma
i know that you see me you just dont like my persona
live dead go numb, absorbed by sorrow
looking at my dead eyes, its not personal
live dead, go numb, absorbed by sorrow
live dead, go numb, absorbed by sorrow
live dead, go numb, absorbed by sorrow
feel pain, go numb, live as no one

live dead, go numb,
sick one, no-life,
withdrawl, couple cuts, covered scars, grab my knife,
fishnets, rip em off, bitch bad, cut her thigs,
been sad, now its fine, she gives me head-overtime
fuck u want?? step aside, we are nothing similar, i cant show them much, if they seen they would be terrified
sick man, suicide, sleepin in a bodybag
weekend, been dead, sorry mum ill call u back
i cant go back, she dont know why, im up all night, i dont think its relevant..
li cant go back,
seizure, coma,
live dead, go numb,
thats the way i do my life

//LIVIN-DEAD-GOIN-NUMB//      __prod.@seishin ((SSG))

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnEq-IUqrFc (music video)

livin in a dream i aint desire
i aint even thinkin 
i cant talk
u know ive seen corpses of the ones
that were important to me 
i aint sincere when i lie
do it all the time
i dont wanna fight it lets collapse
no air no nights
black view harsh sounds
feel like gettin drugged
but im fuckin sober u know
when im gettin hope its crshed
when im gettin up im not
brightest lights
gettin fuckin blind from that
gettin more deaf less right
more blessed more accursed

i have fuckin sealed all of my feelings and im feelin fuckin nothin forcin to fuckin imagine how im feelin but its wway to feelin alright

and i despise me me all night
so i dont give a fuck now
i just despise me more now

no desires @cyberprojection

We were walkin' together while you disappeared, but it was the you who was me all along, so were you there? or i wasn't? 
Am I?
I, wouldn't mind, tho was never in fact. Close my eyes and watch the stars, they remaind me of humanity that is left within me and in me, that the eyes can be closed, and the I can rest while YOU suffer tended by the inner eyes which SUFFER while you rest.

labyrinth of rottenmind

Wowee, look at that rolling ghost glide!

They/Them (don't get it twisted)
Free Palestine!! (Anti-zionist Jew from the cradle to the grave)
Disability justice is the future!! (Spina bifida from the NICU to the nickel urn)
I like my beats crispy and my revolution permanent!! 🎶✊🏼

Roll on that bell or bubble! 🧑🏽‍🦼‍➡️🔔⚪

New tracks tagged #Seishin