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back to me

LA CASITA DE MIS VIEJOS

Once she sees the velvet pillow covers its ova

I Put the Cunt in Country

This absolute unit of a knob polisher is a badass in the making. Phillip Jon Basard XXVIII, (better known by his stage name, Stacey Katregal) is renowned worldwide. With over 1 million followers on soundcloud, he's the biggest badass he knows, but don't take my word for it, just ask him, he'll tell ya. He hates to say it, but he's the best musician ever to walk the earth...but again, he really really hates to say it.

Basard attended Dillard's Community College, earning top honors and recommendations and received degrees in sociology, anthropology and economic contingency. Don't ask him what any of that means though. He likes to grocery shop at his local gas station for the best prices, where he's usually seen purchasing a couple half dozen eggs. 

Phillip Basard is cited as being one of the singers of all time. He knows his "abcs" and he can count to at least 10. Basard was also trained in mega karate. It's like regular karate, but mega...He's the biggest badass he knows trust him, it even says so in his book titled, "I'm the Biggest Badass I Know, Trust Me." He has the intelligence of AT LEAST THREE cans of shaving cream. That's right, we're talking Gillette here, it's serious. He's also quite the handsome devil, with some people comparing him to the Pitt, no, not Brad Pitt. Brad Arm-Pit.

Phillip Basard's latest album "Cash Money Shillionaire" went triple fire thot sauce no cap in the kindergarten department at Dillard's. His CDs were literally flying off the shelves....because of a massive tornado ripping through the store.

The Dirty Dunce wrote, "Phillip Basard has made one of the records I've ever heard."

Lil' Sippy said "Chea, I mean it do what it do kna I'm sayin, like, ya kna whada mean dawg?" - We gathered a team of nuclear physicists from around the globe to study this statement. Using advanced auto algorithms and centrifugal cranial technology, after years of analyzing this comment, they did in fact not know what he meant.

Sedrick McClane wrote, "This Basard chap is a prodigy, no one else has written music on the level of this guy, when you really break each song down at the microscopic level and read between the lines you can see that he is classically trained and really has provided an intellectual discussi....." Unfortunately we were unable to get the rest of Dunce's statement as his helmet fell off resulting in his brain falling out of his skull, which was held inside with the use of duct tape and butt paste. But trust him. Whatever he was going to say was definitely right.

Basard has made over 100 dollars last year alone!!!

Philip Basard just announced a new album in the works which he has yet to record anything for, titled "yea." Somehow it has already garnered over 3 million plays. He's in the studio writing with guitarist supreme, Steel with an "e" Manders, who plays so good that nobody has heard of him. Also joining are Tommy Jafretti, Nadaweel Persaun and Tugon MaiReena. His new single, "Mega Turbo Tough Guy, Trust Me" has received 2 grannie nominations at the national geriatric convention and local bingo league offices. They call him the best knob polisher this side the Mississippi.



BREAKING NEWS: Phillip Basard may have been spotted at a local pitstop, filling up his gas tank to his 1967 pontiac buick, complete with custom interiors designed by Xihibit. It appears that Philip Basard had the boys over at Pimp my Ride install a 10,000 sq ft aquarium in the back seat. He also has what appears to be an airplane hangar installed in the passenger seat, no doubt the handiwork of Pimp my Ride. The boys over at Pimp my Ride didn't stop there, they even installed a barbecue pit and tiki bar for good measure. Basard's incredibly badass car was spotted going over 95mph in at least 3 school zones. And that was just yesterday. Who knows how many more school zones are going to fall victim to his driving. The guy is one badass guy. Trust him. He'll tell ya. (Sources: Dude, trust me)
It seems Philip Basard has been nominated for a couple of grannies. What a guy.
They'll fit right in with his Oscars, he has a whole pack of em in the fridge.

Basard drove his car with the wind in his sails, full stop, extra drip fire sauce no cap. He then fell off a cliff. The end.

New tracks tagged #Tango