насмерть w/ misssantrophy (prod. ewvaaikai, youngslash)

Why Can't I Be Happy

Undead Junkie's Cycle N MelanKholyia

Junkie Worms

Dripping Trauma

Dripping Trauma X

Prescription Void (Numbed Grey Months)

You were never there for me

Caged Illusion

все мои чувства prod. kutaraku

channel 19 at 333 AM

the mannequins turned their heads

no windows on this floor

blood on the carpet

this channel is forbidden

This is a trap/hardstyle remix of my song FEIN 4U, i was bored

FEIN 4U (Ar4mora remix)

got 2 choose

[0:20-1:00] Verse 1
(Monotone rap-growl calm counting pills: Snare bone snaps march rhythm snapping spines, kick coffin slams heavy gas doors, sub-bass tar lungs wheezing—dread skin crawl glitches, creepy whispers "look... mirror...", flesh-ripping tears mid-line spooky apocalypse, sinister insect skitter intercut unholy drips.)
Look in the mirror and see who you are,
We are you helping you survive,
Can't trust the world we help you let go,
Burying the pain in amnesic memories.
You don't remember but we know all you hide,
Ten years passes with no memories of what I did,
15-17 nineteen to twenty nine years blank space no time no place no face.
[1:00-1:20] Chorus
(Androgynous male deep wail choking reverb: Glitch drops shatter chrome wire scrape tension, venom drip delays pool vomiting gurgles, dramatic screams warp evil 3D—echoing "walking... empty..." layers violent scary post-metal riffs, lingering torment void silence bursts psychotic grin echoes.)
Walking in a empty space I called my home,
A world inside while I ran on autopilot...
High out within my mind I hide from life breaking out in clips,
Frames chips of film play by smell tastes touch a panic rush...
This is the end of everything... (glitch drop void silence, bone snap resume, hollow holocaust wind howls)
[1:20-2:00] Verse 2
(Growl intensifies sinister: March verse snare bone snaps nightmare rhythm, kick coffin slams cyanide stabs, sub-bass tar lungs, chrome wire scrape glitches mid-line—chain rattles bound lust clank, unholy defecation drips spooky dystopian, haunting whispers intercut evil post-metal sprawl.)
Full of dread and the feeling of death I'm running from,
29 I'm awake for a moment to move to the next place in life.
Got married started a life memories shaky but I manage to stay in the light,
Seeping out into my eye the breaks in time were I fought to survive.
PSTD blacked out till 31 evolved by 38 sitting in a room,
With four unknown until I'm told that's not normal people don't do that.
[2:00-2:20] Chorus
(Deep wail choking escalates evil: Chrome scrape builds violent tension, venom drip reverb metal taste drips louder, glitch drops spooky static—screams fade hollow holocaust wind echoes, alien distortion warps creepy unease, psychotic grins cackle.)
Walking in a empty space I called my home,
A world inside while I ran on autopilot...
High out within my mind I hide from life breaking out in clips,
Frames chips of film play by smell tastes touch a panic rush...
This is the end of everything... (venom drip echo trails off, insect skitter fades)
[2:20-2:40] Bridge
(Tempo slows 90 BPM creepy voidcore crawl: Flesh-ripping tears intensify WWII flicker low-pitch screams, gas chamber whispers chanting "we... do...", distorted bass writhing worms burrow—glitch drop dread peak, chrome wire scrape venomous, chain rattles lust bound eternal.)
We don't work that way we do though no one understands,
Walk in infinity cosmic gate many I am so like shattered glass.
I'm so alone but not alone at all I feel you moving under my skin,
Their echoing voices of memories hello? You don't remember... (glitch drop dread peak, psychotic grin echoes venomous)
[2:40-3:00] Verse 3
(Growl returns with frenzy: March resumes building to chaos, sub-bass pulses, effects amp with memory glitches—whispers "talking... long..." layer in sinister echo.)
But we've been talking to you for a long time now you notice us,
Now we can come together to support you inside of hiding you in the light and dark.
Of dissociative mental states we are the love the fear the hope the destruction of you,
Protector lover the torched like black as embers glow.
[3:00-3:20] Chorus
Walking in a empty space I called my home,
A world inside while I ran on autopilot...
High out within my mind I hide from life breaking out in clips,
Frames chips of film play by smell tastes touch a panic rush...
This is the end of everything...
[

Autopilot

#gonnakillmyslflikerebzyxx
тгк: cxrsdmyslf

intrigued by things dark, weird & strange - so I make music & art accordingly<3 

See my Youtube for visuals>>>

Most of these songs are produced by me and performed, and if not the producers are credited in the description

This is My AI Band for my Trauma Art Therapy Music.
All Lyrics Written & Developments done by me Nexus Khimera. Including how I created the Sound and all Lyrics are from my personal Experiences. 

Welcome I'm Nexus Khimera. I have been a vocalist & lyricist since I was 15 , now I'm 38. My doctors asked me to try it for therapy. I never stopped. I have been diagnosed with Antisocial/BPD Cluster C Personality Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder, CPTSD/ PTSD. I've had DID since I was young around 5 next 15 then through 19 to 38. My alters have been writing since 15, to help realise stored buried trauma & use their voices helping them to crawl to the surface. I'm a survivor of sexual, physical & emotional abuse & victim of domestic violence. My alters told me to start creating music here, when I started here I got sick, after playing them over and over. I got nauseous my guts were speaking to me, I could feel them surfacing. Crawling around MelanKholyia N the system. From family, to their friends and every one I tried to get close would abuse me, abandoned me or used me as a doll until I was as hollow as the echoes of the fundamental nothingness the obsidian womb. This is my Trauma Art Therapy. Bringing Mental Health Awareness to music notes. If you struggle with | Dissociative Identity Disorder | Antisocial Personality Disorder CPTSD PTSD. This music just for us <3.
 Thank you for your support. Thank you for not taking my music or stuff out of what I'm really trying to do now with the info I have now told confronted my on my family telling them what happened tonight. As last night for the first time I confronted my family. All I got was lies from them as they turned what they have done against me as they have my whole life now I have proof , at this point their lies and denial has got me to this point.
I will not hide myself or feel ashamed to tell the truth now because I've learn to accept myself for once I my life. I'm sick of this self hate and disgusted because of what I have become because of my environments and things that happened to me. Because of the embarrassment and how much I hate myself because well that's whats happens when everytime you try to say something others are invading the places. That are made to be safe. I'm not going to stay quite ever again I will scream out until I lose all breath. The stigma must be broken .

38 Years old

Syracuse IN

With a Masters & Dissociative Degree N Damage & Art

I write all lyrics in both Bands

Regarding the musical projects, "Echo's N Melankholyia" is an online band where I serve as the lyricist and intend to transition into vocal duties. For the live band "Mothyii," I am the lyricist and vocalist. As a professional artist, poet, and lyricist, I have received diagnoses for ASPD, BPD, DID, ADHD, SAD, OCD, GAD, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, and Hypersexuality.

Nexus Khimera utilizes musical expression as a form of trauma art therapy, channeling experiences of abuse, toxic relationships, and addiction into compositions. The artist's work, reflecting a journey of survival and recovery, incorporates elements of Goth Rock, Industrial Rock, Nu Metal, Gothcore, Post Rock, Grunge, Post Grunge, Dark Wave, and cyberpunk. The resulting soundscapes are characterized by haunting atmospheres, dark ambient textures, and emotionally charged layers, reflecting themes of mental health and personal struggle. As Nexus Khimera, I operate as an artist, poet, lyricist, and vocalist, exploring the complexities of the human psyche within the context of cosmic themes. My creative endeavors, influenced by Borderline Personality Disorder and the effects of past trauma, serve as a means of processing and transforming internal struggles. My artistic practice encompasses a range of mediums, including charcoal drawings that blend biomechanical and Lovecraftian elements, dark surrealism, and abstract expressions derived from emotional experiences. Through a combination of AI-assisted and traditional techniques, I aim to confront and transmute personal traumas into evocative visual narratives. My poetry also plays a crucial role in this process. My artistic expression, characterized by free verse, unconventional lyrics, and a distinctive vocal delivery, functions as a therapeutic outlet, allowing for the articulation of complex emotions and observations of a world often perceived through a somber lens.

I invite you to explore this realm of shadowed beauty and candid revelations. Please follow Nexus Khimera on social media to stay informed about his creative endeavors.

Thank you for your visit. I hope your day is filled with moments of both wonder and introspection. I encourage you to return soon.

Please explore my band, Echo's N Melankholyia, and consider subscribing.

[Links to YouTube, Suno, and Facebook]

© 2025 by Echo's N Melankholyia. Lyrics by Nexus Khimera. All rights reserved. Music generated with Suno AI. Date: September 5, 2025. "It all Begins." Decipher the underlying messages. Encryption is my method.Characterized by free verse, unconventional lyrics, and a distinctive vocal delivery, it functions as a therapeutic outlet, allowing for the articulation of complex emotions and observations of a world often perceived through a somber lens.

I Invite you to explore this realm of shadowed beauty and candid revelations. Please follow Nexus Khimera on social media to stay informed about his creative endeavors.

Thank you for your visit. I hope your day is filled with moments of both wonder and introspection. I encourage you to return soon.

Please explore my band, Echo's N Melankholyia, and consider subscribing. Thank you all for your support.

I'm just someone who makes music so that someone can feel comfortable listening to it and remember me. ❤️

New tracks tagged #Traumacore