“I attract avoidants” has almost become a mantra for anxious pursuers who are convinced they are only attracted to people who shun them. They believe relationships require a lot of effort, thus feeling a deeper connection to partners who reject them. If it comes easy, something must be wrong. This anxious pursuer is always focused on their partner, pushing, pulling and waiting for that “wake-up” moment that never comes.

Let’s say you start dating someone who checks a lot of your boxes, but they rarely contact you so you do all the work. You create excuses to contact them, enticing them with sex or whatever carrot you think will prove irresistible. You live in the fantasy of feeling close to them, making the reality of rejection both painful and comfortable. The irony is that if they DO get close to you, you’ll distance yourself. This push/pull dance is a pattern, with fear of abandonment at its core. To break it you need to connect where it hurts, accessing those deep feelings you avoid like the plague. Instead of running from pain and anxiety when they strike, sit with it. Be with it. Do not react or discharge your pain on someone else. It is SO HARD to do and feels like walking through fire, but it will set you free.

#624 Being An Anxious Pursuer In Relationships (REBROADCAST)

Are you searching for a unicorn? I’m talking about someone whose specialness makes everything in life seem amazing. Someone you are (and forever will be) attracted to, who will never upset you or trigger you, who you’ll always have a deep physical connection with. Like unicorns themselves, this romantic idea you’re invested in is a fantasy. Love exists with another human who is flawed by nature.

In this week’s episode we’ll look at what keeps you searching for unicorns (if you’re an Avoidant or Anxious Avoidant, pay particular attention). The kind of “perfect” love you’re looking for is only in the pages of a fairy tale. It’s a place where pain doesn’t exist… which is where many Avoidants like to live. You can continue searching for what is unrealistic, or you can look inside and deal with whatever emptiness, pain, and anxiety you’re feeling. Because unconditional love does exist. It’s just different from what you’re looking for.

#688 What Avoidants and Anxious Avoidants Don’t Know

Ever feel overwhelmingly drawn to someone that the physical attraction is just insane?

Where you know you are powerless to stop the descent into what is probably going to be complex and messy, but that magnetism to them has you out of your mind?  

Tracy dives deep into the complex world of attachment styles and how each one - avoidant, anxious, and more - uniquely intertwines with our sexual lives, often in ways we don't consciously realize. 

Tracy also explores the misconception that anxious attachment is purely emotional, revealing how it often manifests in the heightened intensity of sexual encounters. 

This episode is a journey into understanding why we may feel a magnetic pull towards certain partners and how this attraction can be misleading, mistaking intense physical connection for emotional depth. 

Yeah, sorry about that…as much as you might want him or her to be your soulmate, it might just be a physiological response to your conditioning.

#734: The Art Of Attachment and S*x

Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship, and especially romantic relationships. It's also something we tend to fear, and that triggers us into protective behaviours that move us away from connection & stress out our bodies & nervous systems.

But conflict itself is not a bad thing - it's the way we APPROACH & MANAGE conflict that makes all the difference. So, what if we could approach conflict consciously, using it as a tool to deepen our connection rather than allowing it to drive us apart? 

In this episode of Relate Higher, Award-Winning Relationship Coach & Former Family Lawyer, Leticia Ringe introduces the concept of 'Conscious Conflict' providing a three-step process for healthily, sustainably & effectively working WITH conflict in a romantic relationship to create deeper connection, understanding and growth.

Learn how your 'protective strategies' rooted in childhood experiences show up in your disagreements with your romantic partner, and how triggers, protective patterns and lack of repair chip away at your relationship (and nervous systems) over time. 

Whether you're in a relationship or single, this episode provides valuable strategies to approach conflict consciously in your romantic relationship, so that you thrive as a couple and transmute protective patterns & unconscious conflict cycles coming between you. 

Tune in to learn how to create meaningful and conscious connections in your romantic life and beyond.

Apply for a place in Leticia's Conscious Relationship Coaching Program here: https://www.relatehigher.com/crcp

Download Leticia's FREE TRAINING "Create Thriving Relationships Today" here: https://www.relatehigher.com/masterclass

Enjoy show notes and more here: https://www.relatehigher.com/podcast

Register for Leticia's community newsletter here: https://www.relatehigher.com/community

CLB 258: Conscious Conflict in Romantic Relationships (How to Healthily Respond to Conflict as a Couple) [RH 32]

You want less drama in your relationship? Guess what? Conditioning will keep you looking for it, until you do something about it. Check out this episode to learn how to connect and relate. Let’s get to the real essence of relationships, especially if you’re grappling with attachment issues and toxic patterns.

Get ready for a no-BS approach to breaking free from the shame, blame, and emotional barriers holding you back. This is your chance to change it up, so you are happier, more confident and connected.

Key Takeaways:
* Stop playing the game and learn to connect without judgment.
* Shame impacts your relationships; take steps to overcome it.
* Discover the power of honest, blame-free communication.
* Break unhealthy patterns by focusing on your own emotional growth.

"Relating is about sharing where we’re at. It doesn’t mean it has to be fixed or that somebody’s right and somebody’s wrong—it’s just about being honest." ~ Tracy Crossley

#787: Relationships and what are they?

Do you crave connection but keep everyone at arm's length? You might be what Tracy calls an "accidental asshole."

You're not trying to be a jerk. You built that wall as a kid to survive. But now it's blocking the very thing you want most.

You date with one foot in, one foot out. You need drama to feel anything. When someone actually wants to love you? Boring. Or terrifying.

Stop waiting for someone who won't trigger you. That person doesn't exist. The work is dealing with the discomfort of letting someone in.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why you need tension to feel attraction
* How the "perfect person" fantasy keeps you unavailable
* Why you get pissed when you actually get attached
* Why you contact exes months later
* How to feel without the protective facade

"Emotionally available people do not seek out unavailability." ~ Tracy Crossley


#816: The Truth About The Accidental A$$hole

Are you exhausted from forcing everything to happen? From pushing through goals that leave you feeling empty once you reach them?

Most avoidants live like they're perpetually on fire—reacting, controlling, forcing outcomes because "easy" feels dangerous. But here's the thing: all that forcing keeps you from the very flow state that would actually get you where you want to go.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why ease feels dangerous when you're avoidant
* The difference between forcing and allowing
* How perfectionism keeps you stuck in empty cycles
* Sitting with discomfort instead of reacting
* Recognizing when you're escaping versus flowing

"When you're forcing, you're coming from a state of lack. You can't force a healthy relationship. You can't force anything meaningful. But we keep trying because we're afraid to let go of the false building we've created that everyone can admire." ~ Tracy Crossley


#617: How To Stay In The Flow As An Avoidant

Create a Life that is Beautiful is a personal development & coaching podcast with Award-Winning Coach Leticia Ringe supporting you to create the life, business & relationships you want! 

Relate Higher™️ is a series on the podcast, dedicated to providing the leading standard for conscious relationships: whether that be your romantic partnerships, friendships, family or your professional relationships. As well as support for all phases of the relationship cycle from deciding whether to leave a relationship, completing a relationship (including divorce, separation & break ups), healing a broken heart, dating & attracting new relationships, starting a new relationship and improving an existing relationship.  

Hit subscribe & get ready to create the life, business and relationship you want! Show notes & more at: https://www.leticiaringe.com/podcast

A lot of us live in our head, disconnected from our feelings and intuition. This podcast touches on releasing insecure attachment, accepting your authentic self and getting “unstuck” by connecting to how you FEEL instead of how you THINK. I’ve been there, and discuss sensitive subjects using my own experiences with a lot of laughs and even more empathy… because we’re all flawed humans.

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