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                                           A deliciously told group biography of the young, rich, American heiresses who married into the impoverished British aristocracy at the turn of the twentieth century – the real women who inspired Downton AbbeyTowards the end of the nineteenth century and for the first few years of the twentieth, a strange invasion took place in Britain. The citadel of power, privilege and breeding in which the titled, land-owning governing class had barricaded itself for so long was breached. The incomers were a group of young women 

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                                           Here is a revisitation--part tribute, part update--of Stephen Birmingham's much-loved Real Lace. James P. MacGuire, a member of one of Birmingham's Irish Families, creates his own entertaining portrait of life among the Irish Rich, further detailing and filling out this engrossing portion of America's social history. Real Lace Revisited chronicles the religious, financial and social evolution of the First Irish Families’ world, its rise, peak, decline, fall, and, in some cases, transformative rebirth. Rather than a memoir, however, the book reads as an informed historical, non-fiction account of the upper-class Irish world as it grew and cha

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                                           Here is a revisitation--part tribute, part update--of Stephen Birmingham's much-loved Real Lace. James P. MacGuire, a member of one of Birmingham's Irish Families, creates his own entertaining portrait of life among the Irish Rich, further detailing and filling out this engrossing portion of America's social history. Real Lace Revisited chronicles the religious, financial and social evolution of the First Irish Families’ world, its rise, peak, decline, fall, and, in some cases, transformative rebirth. Rather than a memoir, however, the book reads as an informed historical, non-fiction account of the upper-class Irish world as it grew and cha

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Lyrics:

Every day with you
Is a day before war


Your Elections, mailers, elections, mailers
Just another way for you to cling

Pseudo-sacrificial self-service soothing
Your head stuck self-serving in sand

Meritocracy is ass aristocracy
Come on baby what is my identity 


Chorus
Meritocracy is ass aristocracy
A self-serving plutocracy, cloaked in hypocrisy

Meritocracy is ass aristocracy
Come on baby tell me my identity

Meritocracy is Ass Aristocracy II

Meritocracy is Ass Aristocracy III

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"Moments of being passable beyond novelty"

"Actually slaps"

At its core, the blorgpulkf is a pulsating, iridescent orb that thrums with an energy that can only be described as "the sound of a thousand bees having a rave inside a kaleidoscope." It's hypnotic, it's unsettling, and it's strangely addictive - like watching a lava lamp filled with Mountain Dew and gummy bears.

But that's just the beginning. Surrounding this pulsing heart are layers upon layers of... well, your guess is as good as mine. One moment it's a tangled web of neon tubes that hum with an eerie frequency, the next it's a churning mass of what appears to be sentient silly putty. And is that a tiny disco ball I see nestled in there? You bet your sweet bippy it is.

As for its features, the blorgpulkf is like a Swiss Army knife designed by a mad scientist with a penchant for pranks. It's got a button that releases a burst of confetti and the sound of a rubber chicken being stepped on, a lever that causes the whole thing to fold in on itself like a origami crane having an existential crisis, and a tiny compartment that dispenses a single, perfectly spherical grape every 37 hours.

But perhaps the most baffling feature of the blorgpulkf is its ability to communicate. Not with words, of course - that would be far too pedestrian. No, the blorgpulkf speaks in a language all its own, a cryptic code of flashing lights, whirring gears, and the occasional burst of atonal jazz played on what sounds suspiciously like a didgeridoo.




The plorksickle. It's like someone took a fever dream, a Mad Lib, and a Dada art installation, threw 'em in a blender, and hit "puree."

Picture this: a contraption that looks like it crawled out of a Salvador Dali painting and mated with a Rube Goldberg machine. It's got a crank that sounds like a yodeling ostrich, a button that releases a puff of glitter and the scent of existential dread, and a tiny screen that just flashes the word "moist" in Wingdings.

But here's the kicker - every time you think you've figured out what it does, it changes the game. One minute it's reciting beat poetry in binary code, the next it's turning itself inside out and becoming a Klein bottle. And don't even get me started on the time it started oozing a viscous liquid that tasted like the color purple.

Is it a tool? A toy? A sentient being from another dimension that's just really, really bad at communication? Your guess is as good as mine. All I know is, it's the most beautifully useless thing I've ever laid eyes on.

But maybe that's the point. In a world where everything has to have a purpose, a function, a reason for being, the plorksickle is a big, fat middle finger to the very concept of sense. It's absurdity for absurdity's sake, a Zen koan in physical form.

So if you ever see me on the street, cradling this bizarre little gizmo like a newborn lovechild, don't ask me what it does. Just nod, smile, and know that you're in the presence of something truly inexplicable. Something that laughs in the face of logic and spits in the eye of reason.

New tracks tagged #aristocracy