selfish
clawing
deeper
into my skin

everyday
sickly red
the guilt of actions
the guilt of thoughts

i'm sorry (isn't it awesome?)
disgusting (to think like a demon?)
i can't control (daily punishment)
what i think (kill yourself quickly!)

wash your hands (i'm not a bad person)
pull the hair
slice the skin (i'm not a bad person)
bruise again

bite your nails (i'm not a bad person)
burn it thin
scrub the evil (i'm not a bad person)
off your skin

sickly red (and you'll lie again) ((idiot)).mp3

anxiety swells
i see you're not well
you tell me that you're fine
i see it as a sign

i know i did wrong
thats why my emotions are so strong
please don't be tired
don't leave my guilt unadmired

you're not mad at me
hurry, give me pity
i'm so mad at myself
this is ruining your health

emotions shift and morph to death
i am not solid in same breath
my identity is never me
apathy or empathy

i see you leaving and i wonder
why you haven't left me sooner
you stick around despite my blunder
i break apart and you come closer

aren't i abusive, awful?
doesn't it get so damn pitiful?
why can't you just fucking hit me?
why do you still hold me gently?

i see an angel loving a demon
loving me for no real reason
why do you choose to kiss the heathen?
sinful, i deserve to be beaten

an angel loving a demon

i have a brain that's not the same
i fear all conflicts and i take the blame
the group of people i keep so close
they tell me they won't leave, but run away the most

i screwed everything up
(i'm not mentally ill)
everyday is the same
(i'm not mentally ill)
i curl into ball, i am stuck i am stuck
(i am perfectly normal)
you tell me it's okay
(i'm not mentally ill)
i am full of hatred, shame
(i'm not mentally ill)
i cry into your arms, i am stuck i am stuck
(i am perfectly normal)

i wish i could listen
(i'm not mentally ill)
to your reassurance
(i'm not mentally ill)
i wish i would listen
(i'm not mentally ill)
but i'm not mentally ill
(but i'm not mentally ill!)

i'm not mentally ill (i'm not mentally ill).mp3

nardil prozac zoloft abilify
ativan valium xanax buspar

will this fix me and what i've eaten most
i am subhuman i am trash i am the host
i'll never be able to trust you fully
i'll never be able to hold you closely

i'm sorry, clover
can we drink together?
can we laugh together?
i'm sorry, mother
could you yell at me again?
could you mold me yet again?

dirty shameful ugly child
dirty shameful ugly adult

i'm sick of complaining for things that don't matter
i'm sick of complaining for things that i don't deal with

this isn't me (and it forever will be).mp3

psilosis, diagnosis
please tell me what's wrong
check ups, acid reflux
for the rest of my life

i've been told i'm so healthy
i've been praised for my recovery
i've been told i am cured
as if nothing was endured

mommy god and daddy
please don't ignore this part of me
i don't like it either
but please don't pretend it's gone

it irks you, it pains you
but have you put yourself in my shoes?
it annoys you, it angers you
but it was your decision, would you please just own it?

keep lying to my face 
til i am sick again
keep thanking someone else
oh dear god, amen
when i will throw up
what will you do then?
turn away as usual?
turn away and call me delusional?

you're cured!

A whole year and more of bliss
I can't help but not dismiss
The softest love I've ever felt
The loving touch that makes me melt

When you lay in bed, do you think of me? As I do you

Like fireflies mixing together 
Harmony within my lover
Please, just let me hold you closer
Please, let's just mold one another

Like fireflies mixing together 
Harmony within my lover
Please, just let me hold you closer
Please, let's just mold one another

Once earth keels over from humans
And we have grown old with delusions
Let's share our warmth til' the sun sets
Let's die and forget our regrets

my love unbound

I feel like a child again
Too young and naive, hung by the heart

I feel like I'm nothing again
I'm told what is wrong, I've waited too long

Plagued and co-written with thoughts of
Lunch and death apart, who am I?
What's for work today? A punishment
I did nothing yesterday

Will God murder me before I
hurt all I can love? Before I
Become who I hate I swear I
try so hard to be, truly

Rip all my skin off!
Rip out all my thoughts of 
Never-ending tightness!
Stupid, spineless!

OCD IS A RELIGIOUS CULT (555 LIES)

Yesterday was Satori Day, apparently. I'm always late with these things.
This is a remix of "少女さとり ~ 3rd Eye" (Satori Maiden ~ 3rd Eye), Satori Komeiji's theme from Stage 4 of Touhou Chireiden ~ Subterranean Animism.
Named after the Austrian psychologist and philosopher Franz Brentano (search him up in relation to Hartmann bc I can't be bothered to give the lore).
Made in AbyssBox 1.7.
Link: https://tinyurl.com/yc3t8m95

Brentano's Youkai Girl (3rd Eye)

This song relies very heavily on various paranormal, metallic, and off-key rhythms & sounds that come together to form an eccentric song with abandoned-factory vibes.

It has an eerie and somewhat dystopian sound at first, mostly exposing you to the various elements of the song, but gains a heavily distorted electric guitar melody further in, crescendoing into a climax.

Experimental Displacement Cadence (EDC)


a loving, safe feeling
something to cling to
healthier than living
what i've always been through

it might feel reassuring
to know there's no alarm bells
but all of a sudden, my heart dwells
once a question comes pushing

what would you like? what you pick (what would you like?)
what do you want? what you want (what do you want?)
anything else? that's up to you (anything else?)
tell me what's wrong? nothing much

a choice is easy, it comes naturally
it makes me queasy, my brain so frantically
what do we see? friends who need more than me
so what do you want? to fucking explode!

i can't think about needs
when i am not priority
then boundaries are spoken
my dumb selfish inferiority!!

is this what you want? the ground to wipe your shoes?
i'll force myself if needed, forget about the structure
you ask about self respect, you ask about the limits
i kneel down on the ground and pretend to be your doormat

i want you to be happy (i don't want to be selfish)
forget me, im so goddamn sappy (degrading so you don't leave)
just tell me, tell me what you want? (making sure that you're happy)
tell me? sex in different font? (it's always all about me)


people pleaser

A long while ago. Probably.. 3 years ago, I did a very partial cover of this track from the Swordcraft Story GBA game. I was very inexperienced back then and didn't have it in me to complete. Now.. I have. And it sounds great. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it!

Summon Night Swordcraft Story- Sealed Labyrinth 2 (Revamped FM Cover)

Morse

had an earlier version of this song, but i decided to add more it
18/08/25

TooMuch

not entirely finished but im tired, but not drunk enough

12 oz mouse by Matt Maiellaro
link to it: https://tinyurl.com/24j4zztr

12 Oz Mouse Theme in Beepbox

help its nighttime and im making dariacore

mainboard

chronic lonely new love happy
a lovesick puppy sweetheart honey
when i do wrong you pet me
when i do wrong you hold me
i'm not sure what you like about me
from my head to my heart there is all wrong inside me
i love you so dearly
i pray you stay closely

i'm awkward scrappy
sick and tipsy
angry and frankly
too much dirty laundry

i'll do wrong for you
i'll prove myself for you
i'll beg if i need to
mix and become something new

you make me happy
you make me horny
you make me cry and you make me laugh
life is so fun love has begun
i don't wanna die because you're my reason why
i'm still disabled i'm still as troubled
but i can't care if i'm with you
i'm so in love with you i wanna have sex with you
i'll tell the whole world you're an angel on earth


niko

i'm sick of my body
i'm done with throwing up
stick a tube inside me
treat me like a baby

tell all the people
you suffered more than me
tell all the people
that i am cured by god

lacking disability
your days are spent so easily
consultations galore
within me neverending war


nurse! lover!
cure me quickly
nurse! lover!
love me intensly!
nurse! lover!
cure me quickly
nurse! lover!
love me intensly!

NURSE! LOVER!

beepbox repetitive music that all strings together
i love weird experimental stuff and my boyfriend
ke/they/he

#STFSDL #LIFESTEP
got many song ideas but many preoccupations
he, 2008

I make songs on abyssbox for now. I'm poor lol.

here to upload/reupload miscellaneous tracks or other stuff

I'm just looking for feedback on my music and hope to all the people that listen, enjoy my songs

I am a small music producer who makes varying styles of electronic music with BeepBox. I also sprite all my cover art myself using Piskel; nothing I create uses AI.

had too much music unreleased... had to release it somewhere

8-Bit and 16-Bit VGM artist and chiptuner obsessed with all things retro.

I use BeepBox for my songs.

just a guy who likes using Beepbox a lot. also i make mashups.

New tracks tagged #beepbox