This is the "Kraite K..: “IF IT CAN GO WRONG”" replacement for MY GOD DAMN AU the 4same puppet! Think of it, Nobody has made an AU where O-Fitzor Qian takes the role of Krati Kake! 
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_ WHAT!
_ Uh.. dispatch? I’m gonna need some bac-
 
*Ring Ring* 
📞< MEIN GOTT! DON’T CALL ZE COPS ON ME! I DONT KNOW VHAT MANIAC CALLED YOU IN BUT.. [No]. I AM NOT DANGEROUZ!
 
_ I’m still going to have to search you.
 
*The ringing gets.. louder? Where IS that coming from?*
 
*Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring*
📞< …TORCH ME? 
📞< [Uh]. [No]! ZEARCH, YOU MEAN.
📞< OH [No]! ZIS IS A MIZUNDERZTANDING! 
 
_ Can you at least empty your pockets?
 
*Ring*
📞< I DON’T THINK ZAT IS A VERY GOOD IDEA…
 
_ Oh, please. “I dOnt thiNk zAt iS A vEry goOd idEa”. I’ve had enough of this.
 
*Katie tries to perform a search but a drone swoops in, shoving O-Fitzor back, causing him to accidentally crash into a table with what appears to be chemistry equipment and potions!*

_ DAMN IT! Sorry!
 
*RING RING RING RING RING RING RING*
📞< YOU NUMBZKULL YOU NE'ER-DO-VELL YOU ZTUPID MORON YOU !!!
 -----------------------------------------------------------
thumbnail by: The Ceaseless Watcher
song by: @spam_b
Deltarune by You.
Vocals by @dg_000
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9;13;0;7;9;22;9;14;7;0;25;15;21;0;20;8;5;0;12;1;19;20;0;3;.;0;9;20;19;0;1;0;13;5;19;19;1;7;5;0;1;3;18;15;19;19;.
>all hands on DEC

[P卌PEJAM] O-Fitzor Q.; "EVERYTHING IZ FUTILE" {Deltarune, The Same Same Same Same Puppet}

This is the "On The Subject Of” replacement for my GOD DAMN AU the 4Same Puppet! Think of it, Nobody has made an AU where O-Fitzor Qian takes the place of Kaki, otio Kaker
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] Katie wanders back to their station.
] They're almost there, actually.

_ Do I really wanna trust this guy?
_ I mean, it's not really a matter of trust. It's just a VHS tape. It can't be that bad.
_ I really gotta stop being so paranoid.

] Katie has arrived.

_ Well, here goes nothing.

] Katie puts the tape into a VHS player and hits play.

>PLAY

"Hello, Qian. This is your weekly survey on morale."

*Ring*
📞< YEAH YEAH. I KNOW.

"Let's get to the point!"

"Question number 1: Have you experienced any significant bodily harm in the past week?"

📞< [No.] BUT YOU ALREADY KNOW ZAT.

"Question number 2: What compels you?"

*Ring Ring Ring*
📞< HAU AB! I DON'T KNOW! MAYBE THE FACT ZAT ZE EMPEROR IS KEEPING ME HERE! DAMN ZHIZ ALL..

"Question number 3: Have you made any discoveries as of late?"

*Ring*
📞< [No.] 
📞< ZIS IS ZE PART VHERE YOU TUNE OUT, EH?
📞< ZATS ALL YOU CARE ABOUT, ZTOP PRETENDING!

"Question number 4: Has your experience with us been agreeably pleasant?"

*Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring*
📞< [Yes.]
📞< ZAT'Z VHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR, YEZ?
📞< I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOU.

"Qusetion number 5: Do you require new supplies?"

*Ring Ring*
📞< [Yes.]
📞< OF COURZE I DO! BUT YOU HAVEN'T GIVEN ME ANYTHING IN... VHAT? AN ENTIRE YEAR! 
📞< I KNOW THESE QUESTIONZ ARE PRERECORDED! I'M NOT ZAT ZTUPID!
📞< BUT I KNOW YOU'RE LIZTENING, EMPEROR.

"Question number 6: Do you agree to extend our contract?"

*RING RING RING RING RING*
📞< [Ugh.]  [Yes.]
📞< I REMEMBER VHAT YOU DID TO ME LAZT TIME. VHEN I DIDN'T ACCEPT.
📞< AND I KNOW HOW ZHIZ IZ GONNA GO! YOU'RE GONNA ZTRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND INJECT A ZYRINGE DIRECTLY INTO MY NECK!
📞< AND THEN I'LL FORGET EVERYTHING! IT'Z JUZT LIKE ZHAT ONE MOVIE...
📞< EVERY DAY ZHIZ HAPPENZ!

📞< BUT GUEZZ WHAT, EMPEROR?!
📞< I CAN WRITE DOWN NOTES! HOW DID YOU FORGET THAT?
📞< I REMEMBER. I'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER.
📞< AND I'LL MAKE SURE YOU WON'T EVER FORGET TOO.
📞< I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT.

"Thank you for participating in the survey. Remember that all of your responses have been recorded. See you next week!"

>STOP

_ Oh. 
_ Ohhh.
_ I can't just let this happen.
_ I can figure something out. I can't just stand by this. The clock is ticking.
_ Onward we go.
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thumbnail by: The Ceaseless Watcher
song by: Chromie
Deltarune by You.

[P卌PEJAM] ugh {Deltarune, The Same Same Same Same Puppet}

THLOTTT PLEASEEE THLOT GIVE US OUR CAKES BACK PLEASEEE THLOT
pipejam
banner/pfp done by @realkyree and @zurtis0curtis

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