dreamt that touga from utena told me to make a song in A minor  so this is the song i made. #9

https://pinkmoondoll9shihtzu.neocities.org/griefseed

#LYRICS: 
noticing symmetry in sequins
your grief seed, it keeps repeating
& your bitter sweet swollen eyes
slowly reach underneath good reason

halo effect
what'd u expect?
pinkmoonpetal
ur so perfect

our love is ours
watering flowers
tending the garden
that leads to the tower.

iiiiiii
wonderrrr
if u noticeeee
the same things
as me,
everything
underneath
in-between
do u kno what i mean?

i have a lot of fun
im a normal girl
i dont go to school
i dont go to work
i have a lot of fun!
im a normal girl!
i dont go to school!
i dont go to work!

yeaa u knooww u cant
take my soul from me,
oh ur mad about it?
does that help u ?

my job is to pray
i just pray all day
my job is to pray
i just pray all day
my job is to pray
i just pray all day
ima pray for u
so u can pray for me x

let the warmth seep in
it'll take u whole
i can wrap u up
i can do it slow

& when i fall from the tower in the garden
i hope u catch me w/ ur arms wide open
& though i feel the prophecy unfolding
i'll sing my song for u ,
& it'll go like this,

aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAaaaaaAAAAaaaaaaa
oooooOOOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOoooooOOOOOo

grief seed (reap sow repeat)

for when u are walking home alone from the party but u wanted it that way.x

https://pinkmoondoll9shihtzu.neocities.org/nightdancerlightwatcher

everyone in this club is you
everyone in this club is you
~~

last night you were dancing on the moon
the gravity it moved w/ u
everyones watching 
everyones watching 
everyones watching

the sparkles on ur eyes
i cld see them from across the dancefloor
echoing the starry night but
i dnt think u realize

youre too beautiful, oh
pls dont look my way
i have nothing to say
if i hide i'll be ok

& even if you tried
to hold me id fade away
tryna deal w/ my mistakes
thats why i am always up so late

nobody knows me
when im in the clouds
nobody sees me
because i wont allow it

i know its my fault at the end of the day
i know im responsible for my fate
but i dont know why its so hard to let myself play

every night im always watching from the moon
im alone but i know ima see u soon
the club is dead tonight so im going home
& u know i dont rly want no one to hold

all that matters that i got to watch the lights
bouncing off ur blurry psychedelic eyes
yr lipgloss glimmers pink yea its frosted ice
yr perfume carries me off into the night

i just came out to watch the lights
i just came out to watch the lights
123456789123456789
i just came out to watch the lights
i just came out to watch the lights
123456789123456789

i just came out 
to watch the lights
i just came out 
to watch the lights

i need to stay a secret
i need to stay a secret
i need to stay a secret 
i need to stay a secret

writen produce & album art by pinmkm0onndill :D

nightdancer/lightwatcher

springtimesSadness
Lyrics coming soon maybE

LiLac, Leak.

don't know what i wanted/ i have a memory/ back at that party/ i was all over her/ we didn't make out/ or do anything/ i just remmeber/ i was lonely/ i guess i am always/ its not a problem/ its just something/ i got used to it/ every stranger/ makes me feel safer/ & every person/ seems more beautiful/

;original song & lyrics by salvia palth.<3

i was all over her (salvia palth cover)

(SONG DEDICATED TO ALL THE GIRLS/WOMENS WITH IRON DEFICIENCY WHO CANT feel warm even in summer <3)

i fell into the bells
& i didnt even flinch
snowflakes dizzy dance
around saturn's lonely rings

i swell into the frost
& my blizzard turns to mist
its cold under my ribs
til your humidity persists

body heat
it never came easy
summer time please
lock me up & throw away the key

its 4am
ur sweating thru the mattress
awake again
u melt for me like plastic

so i ask u
if things ever get dire
please save me 
from my own lack of fire

body heat
it never came easy
summer time please
pick me up & throw me in the creek

i really wonder
when i see your number
i really wonder 
what u think about me underneath

i just dont get it
i feel pathetic
i need some answers
so i ask about u in my dreams

maybe im lucky
i should surrender
maybe im nothing but
at least im glad that ur not me

time is escaping 
my saturn is neptune
la la la la la
can i just be what u see

x

snow_in_summer

when i cry for u
my tears are like rainbows
the way they absorb all the light

prisms of pain
remind me to be hopeful
the rain looks the same
no matter where i go

but when i cry for u 
its because u were so trusting
u never saw it coming

so make sure u hold onto
ur pretty rainbow tears 
they are your shield

you'll always be neopets famous to me
you're safe & alive in 2003
no one remembers who you are
so i'll keep u as my secret star★
& though the time keeps moving on
in that moment you'll always belong
you'll always b neopets famous

~~~~~~~~~~

everybody love u
i wish u could see

dont let the shield
keep u lonely

all those little moments 
they cant be replaced

you'll always exist in a different plane

you'll always be neopets famous to me
you're safe & alive in 2003
no one remembers who you are
so i'll keep u as my secret star★
& though the time keeps moving on
in that moment you'll always belong
you'll always b neopets famous

i can deal with the pain as long as i know it's for something
& even if it's not yeah even if it's not

i will stay at the rainbow pool painting visions of u
cus i just really love u a lot

u survived a long time & i guess im surprised
neopets never die neopets never die

you'll always be neopets famous xx

neopets famous

i woke up from a dream about someone i dont ever want to miss again ( :

idontmissyouxoxo

frozen affection
frozen affection
sometimes i get sentimental

frozen affection
frozen affection
it's not ok to forget about me

that was my lesson
that was my lesson
i'm too much & i can't force it

that was my lesson
that was my lesson

you don't have to miss me
just don't forget
you don't have to love me
i already feel so perfect

you don't have to want me
you don't have to need me
you don't have to thank me
or even believe me

just don't
give up
on me yet

---

sometimes i get sentimental
for old k-holes, i
don't know how
but even after all of this time
i still remember a lot

it's hard to forget
the synthetic caress
that felt more real than the threat
of being confined
to another lifetime
of repeating the same nothingness

there are not enough songs about death

i'm not humble
& lyrics are not poetry

it's not ok to forget me
my arrogance will get the best of me
you should protect me when i'm empty
i'm just a lesson please don't resent me

it's not ok to forget me

frozen affection
frozen affection
sometimes i get sentimental

frozen affection
frozen affection

frozen affection
frozen affection

forget me

night walk
smoke mugwort
duster on
my ipod

park bench
gut wrench
the clouds are dense
with grey reflection

incoherent in the gentle rain
the petals tear apart my face
and i look better this way
falling down i wait for my decay

there is nothing left to penetrate
betrayal eats at my remains
i go hollow
so i don't go insane

condensation in my camera lens
i want friends
but in my solitude
i am perfect nothing

in the present i am always held
by myself

i was innocent
i was innocent
why do you want me dead

i don't want anything
i don't want anything
it's in this void i'm safe

there's nothing left to want
there's nothing left to want
empty world of false gods

there's nothing left to want
there's nothing left to want
now i'm gone

now i'm gone
run away
process pain
in the blossom rain

there is no 
way to change
what is true
why i ache

i was innocent
i was innocent

innocent
innocent
disappearing 
incoherent

innocent 
innocent
no one will ever see me again

- Recital of poem "I Am Vertical" by Sylvia Plath -

innocent

tumblr girl black metal 
refusing to niche down since 2021
gaze, punk, + metal
++ covers

Always Waiting Matted Hearted Under The Hydrangea Garden Back Where I Started There Is Complicated Tension & Tendrils Scented Never We Collapse Under The Weight Of Our Amber Affections Intertwined Until Another Cruel Resurrection There Is Nothing New There Is No Tradition If I Follow You Will I Still Be Wishing 

Always Wishing 
Always Wishing

Always Waiting

Welcome Home Baby

Sincerely, pmd9

New tracks tagged #dollgaze