05 Water

11 Commander

08 Red Sabbath

10 Apocalypse

07 Revolve

04 Crows And Ravens

03 Battles

02 Fables

01 Nashörn

06 Treadmill

Rider

Things have meaning
If you give them meaning
Things will hurt
If you let them hurt
She knows how to live
But will you let her breathe
You know your grip is tight
Just release it and you’ll see

But she means so much to me
But she means so much to me
I want to let her hurt me
I want to let her hurt me

Things have meaning
If you give them meaning
Things will hurt
If you let them hurt
She knows how to live
But will you let her breathe
You know your grip is tight
Just release it and you’ll see

But she means so much to me
But she means so much to me
I want to let her hurt me
I want to let her hurt me

Things have meaning
If you carve them in
Things will hurt
If they're under your skin
She knows how to hurt
But will you let her make you numb
Lose yourself in empty space
She is zero, she is one

But she feels like home to me
But she feels like home to me
I want to let her hurt me

fairy metal

hurt me

It's my version of destruction

Down
Naught
No-one, no-one

My unrest 

Everything was real, no single lie about it
It's my death bed, grave
Unrest

No single lie about it
I felt what I felt, now let me die without it
It's my version of destruction

Everything was real, no single lie about it
I felt what I felt, now let me die without it

Zero
Naught
Nothing
No-one

Down
Naught
No-one, no-one
It's my version of destruction

It's my version of destruction
It's my version of destruction
It's my version of destruction

I made my bed, now let me fucking lie in it
It's my death bed, grave of eternal unrest
Everything was real, no single lie about it
I felt what I felt, now let me die without it

Zero
Naught
Nothing
No-one

Zero
Naught
Nothing
No-one

Down
Naught
No-one, no-one, no-one

It's my version of destruction

No-one, no-one

destruction

I am broken
I’m unable to
Put myself together

I’m drowning, here in my mind
I'm drowning, here all the time

I was whole before
Now I don’t know how to
Reach up there

I’m drowning, here in my mind
I'm drowning, here all the time

I was whole before
Now I don’t know how to
Reach up there

I'm drowning, lost deep in thought
I'm drowning, my mind contorts

I try to swim
All I can do is
Sink down here

I’m drowning, here in my mind
I'm drowning, here all the time
I'm drowning, lost deep in thought
I'm drowning, my mind contorts

I’m drowning, here in my mind
I'm drowning, here all the time
I'm drowning, lost deep in thought
I'm drowning, my mind contorts

I try to swim
All I can do is
Sink down here

I’m drowning, here in my mind
I'm drowning, here all the time
I'm drowning, lost deep in thought
I'm drowning, my mind contorts

I’m drowning, here in my mind
I'm drowning, here all the time
I'm drowning, lost deep in thought
I'm drowning, my mind contorts

drowning

So many times I have wondered why
This cursed world couldn't keep you here longer
So many battles where I've struggled and I've fought
And I don't feel that I'm getting any stronger

The sun can rise
But I'll still feel cold
There's the empty space beside me
Where your smile once gleamed
And your heart once beated
Sensations I'll hold close for eternity

The birds can sing
But I'll still hear silence
There's the empty space beside me
Where you laughed with pleasure
And you cried with pain
But you never had to do it without me

So why must I do this without you
My deepest darkest nightmare has come true
I'm living in a world
Without you
Without you

So many nights I've lost myself
Trying to find a way on my own
I cannot pretend
I just feel what is real
Without you this world doesn't feel like my home

The sun can rise
But I'll still feel dark
There's the empty space beside me
Where your eyes once shined
And your love was bright
Memories I'll hold close for eternity

The world can turn
But I'll remain in stasis
There's the hollow heart inside me
You made me whole
Right down to the bone
I wanted your whole life beside me

En koskaan unohda sinua
Vieressäni on tyhjä tila
Sait minut tuntemaan itseni kokonaiseksi
Nyt sisälläni on tyhjä sydän

(Finnish Translation)
(I will never forget you)
(There's an empty space beside me)
(You made me feel whole)
(Now, inside me, is an empty heart)

So why must I do this without you
My deepest darkest nightmare has come true
I'm living in a world
Without you
Without you
Without you
Without you

So many nights I've lost myself
Trying to find a way on my own
I cannot pretend
I just feel what is real
Without you this world doesn't feel like my home
Why must I do this without you

without you

It wasn't meant to
To go this way
Why have I done this
Over and over, again and again

I said that I
That I'd be okay
Why did I think that
I don't believe that

I thought that I was different
But really I'm not
I am the architect of my decay
Now let me fucking rot

Hollow healing
Insufferable emptiness
With each step forward
I feed my collapse

Withered mindscape
No peace, no silence
Ceaseless violence
Inside my own mind

I thought that I was different
But really I'm not
I am the architect of my decay
Now let me fucking rot

decay

There’s roses in her hair
She adorns herself with petals
Thorns deep in her neck
The suffering she chose to cherish

There’s sunlight on her skin
She dances in the rays
Burning through to her bones
Igniting the cavity of her core

I tore away my skin
Took you in
You pushed the thorns deeper
A beautiful or painful reminder
Our painful and beautiful memories
They have made me smile
They have made me cry
I love and hate these roses

There’s whispers on her lips
She sings to the sky
Though nobody hears
Her song captured by the stars

There’s rivers in her eyes
They swell and become oceans
Façade broken
Her miserable disguise beneath the monstrous waves

I tore away my skin
Took you in
You pushed the thorns deeper
A beautiful or painful reminder
Our painful and beautiful memories
They have made me smile
They have made me cry
I love and hate these roses
I love and hate these roses
I love and hate these roses

I prefer a love where I'm suffering
Awake at night and grinding my teeth
I prefer affection where I'm yearning
Longing, clawing, for something to keep

I prefer a song where I'm crying
Throat closed up, I'm nearly choking
I prefer sensations where I'm hurting
Bruise stained skin, I'm suffocating

roses

H.U.N.K. - Human Unit Never Killed

VIBE COP (health) //// doom.dance rmx

Heavy Stoner Rock from Lower Saxony, established September 2021

SoundCloud takes almost 90% of my tracks down. Go to http://remix.audio/japandoll for more. 

I'm sorry I can't fix all of the mistakes in these. there's too many to fix, I'm too autistic I could spend a year fixing each one of these. Soundcloud: fuck you

AI generated tracks and stems, chopped up by a bedroom dwelling monster girl 🌸

New tracks tagged #doom