There was this lady she was in labor 
I was her friendly next door neighbor 
And the walls were made of paper machete 

I was an unemployed musician 
Lacking love and recognition 
And since I couldn’t get to sleep anyway 

I said, “Maybe I should stay here and wait for your husband.  
If you want someone to drive you I will”

She said, “you’d have to wait forever cause I don’t have a husband 
And could never pay a hospital bill”

My mouth dropped open and gaped 
When she explained, “I was raped” 
And then informed me that her water broke 

It was tragic and sad 
And yet it probably had 
To be the world’s most elaborate joke

So In her apartment I’m standing 
And In pain she cries out demanding 
“take my panties please and lay me out flat” 

All her screaming was very worrying 
And around the apartment was scurrying 
Some cockroaches and a rather large rat

I said, “Can’t you cross your legs and hold it while I fetch a policeman 
I could have kicked myself for asking her that 
Another baby boy was born without the help of policemen 
Just me and the aforementioned rat 

Who picked the afterbirth clean 
Man the things that I’ve seen 
Could make an ambulance attendance choke 

It was an awful sight to see 
And yet it very well may be 
The world’s most elaborate joke 

Have you heard the old joke about the musician 
trying to be the next Bob Dylan

All of his hopes for his future were on that dream pinned 

Then he rescues a damsel In a wretched condition 
who was raped by a dastardly villain 

And this girl sent all of his hopes and dreams Blowin in the wind!  
Get it?  Blowin in the wind!  

And so we took a bus to Tennessee 
Bob Dylan, the neighbor and baby makes three
And we found an inconspicuous town

I’d start a business sometime later 
As a pest exterminator 
I loved putting rats and cockroaches down 

“we don’t believe your story grandpa you must be joking 
You gave up your dream to kill rats in Tennessee?  
I said, “listen to your grandpa kids, old grandpa’s not joking 
The meaning of life is responsibility”

Yes, now big eyed grand children straddle my knee
And ask if grandpa’s only blowing smoke 

The punch line’ll kill ya if you let it 
Whats the matter don’t you get?  
It’s the worlds most elaborate joke

TurtleFrogMan

The World's Most Elaborate Joke

I write story songs.   Many of the stories are true.

Watch my videos!  YouTube:   https://youtube.com/@turtlefrogman?feature=shared

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