Chapter 36 - Dark Ambient Beat Prod. Stolas

Writer: Ryaliman
Produced By: Ryaliman
Mixed/Mastered By: Ryaliman

Lyrics:

This is my suicide note
I'm barely even staying afloat
Wake up every morning wanna cut my throat
But tomorrow gon be the day when my body gets smoked
I've given up on myself and given up on life
Got so many problems it ain't gon be right
I keep the knife by my dresser so i can cut me open say good night
Why would i wanna live anymore
Eyes blacked out i don't wanna live in this world
When my body's lying by the door burn my dying corpse
Send my ashes to the poles to the poles
Don't let me survive
I've accepted its never gonna be right
There's nothing left for me here gotta end my life
There's nothing left for me here gotta end my life
I'm so fucking done with all this pain i cant get out my head
Id rather have everybody see me dead
Its not like anyone would care
Stain the carpet red no tears were shed
I'm a worse version of myself
I just wanna kill myself
Take all of the pain and i put it on the shelf
Fuck everything i don't wanna fix my health

But if you see a blue bird just remember i existed
Even if my life keeps getting more twisted
Even if suicide is what i committed

This is my suicide note
I'm barely even staying afloat
Wake up every morning wanna cut my throat
But tomorrow gon be the day when i finally get smoked
I've given up on myself and given up on life
Got so many problems it ain't gon be right
I keep the knife by my dresser so i can cut me open say good night
Why would i wanna live anymore
Eyes blacked out i don't wanna live in this world
When my body's lying by the door burn my dying corpse
Send my ashes to the poles to the poles
Don't let me survive
I've accepted its never gonna be right
There's nothing left for me here gotta end my life
There's nothing left for me here gotta end my life
I'm so fucking done with all this pain i cant get out my head
Id rather have everybody see me dead
Its not like anyone would care
Stain the carpet red no tears were shed

But if you see a blue bird remember i existed
Even if my life keeps getting more twisted
Even if suicide's what i committed
Even if all of my emotions have drifted
If you see a blue bird just remember i existed
Even if my life keeps getting more twisted
Even if suicide's what i committed
I don't wanna fucking live anymore 
Fuck this shit

blue birds

Writers: Ryaliman, Fr. Mike O'Connor
Produced By: Ryaliman
Mixed/Mastered By: Ryaliman

Lyrics:

I woke up this morning after seeing god in a dream
He told me how to fix my self esteem
Suicide is never worth anything
I've accepted myself again for christ to redeem
Hope that my ego doesn't get a hold of me again
Satan wanting me to end my life and burn in hell instead
But i know that god got me  cant be over my head
I know that i can start over with whole new friends
A whole new perspective on life i know that i could get it right
If i really tried i cant have them grief through my demise
I cant have my mama see her son bleeding out from his eyes
I cant break the hearts of everyone who loves me when i die
God gave me the tools to locking right back in
Pick up the bible every morning pick a chapter and read it
Not to be around people that don't make you feel completed
And don't listen to Satan making you feel defeated mistreated

Gods lights the only thing i need to follow
Shut off all my social media and stopped looking at models
Fully energized I'm moving on a full throttle
We don't drink away the pain you gotta
Every single time i look in the mirror i hate what i see that's why i gotta change and move my past to the side
Jesus died for our sins he gave himself to be crucified
So I'm forgetting the past and all my sins they can move aside
Your never too busy for your family and your friends
So don't follow in my footsteps i promise it'll leave you dead 
Picking up this pen im a brand new man
Hope i dont fall into the same cycle again
Hope i don't fall into sin that's not what god wants
Hopefully this time i learn that greed isn't the one
Cause every single day id run around chasing hugs
But if i don't love myself then how could i ever love someone

I know that gods not finished i know he'll save my soul
Hope he's taking control hope he's playing his role
I know that gods not finished i know    he's saving my soul
I know he's saving my soul i know he's saving my soul
I know that gods not finished i know he'll save my soul
Hope he's taking control hope he's playing his role
I know that gods not finished i know he's saving my soul
I know he's saving my soul i know he's saving my soul 

It's blue

I know that gods not finished i know he'll save my soul
Hope he's taking control hope he's playing his role
I know that gods not finished i know    he's saving my soul
I know he's saving my soul i know he's saving my soul
I know that gods not finished i know he'll save my soul
Hope he's taking control hope he's playing his role
I know that gods not finished i know he's saving my soul
I know he's saving my soul i know he's saving my soul 

recovery isn't the end

Always to Flee Treason

Capel Celyn

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Y Berwyn

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Horseshoe Pass

Wandering...

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