They offered gloves, I proudly froze
Said no to shoes, love icy toes
Turned down honey, bitter’s best
Dampness beats a cozy vest

Skip the chair, prefer to squat
Comfort’s foolish, smart is not

The more you no, the less you yes
I grin with pride at each success
The more you no, the less you yes
Wisdom shines through stubbornness

Passed up shelter, got my rain
Sunshine? Pah! That’s for the plain
Doctors offered healthy pills
I’m clever—got my aches and chills

Safety harness? No, I'm free
Gravity’s no match for me

The more you no, the less you yes
I grin with pride at each success
The more you no, the less you yes
Wisdom shines through stubbornness

Food and water, too mundane
Skipping sleep upgrades the brain
When help arrives, I wave them by
I’m too smart—I’d rather try

Breathing air’s a silly crutch
Being clever hurts this much

The more you no, the less you yes
I grin with pride at each success
The more you no, the less you yes
Wisdom shines through stubbornness

The More You No The Less You Yes

Clock-in time was 7:02
Now I'm flagged in the system queue
Filed my soul in Section D
Supervisor just stared at me

Don’t raise your voice in HR Bay
Emotion must be filed away

Oooh, Form B-Seventy-Seven
(Must be filled in triplicate)
Got that audit feelin’
(With my beige-toned syndicate)
Compliance is freedom
Stamp me where I stand
The rhythm of my heart is
A 48-month plan

No spice on my regulation rice
The recipe passed the Blandness Vice
National anthem in monotone
With solo slide whistle and dial tone

Don’t skank without approval slip
Improvised joy is an ethics trip

Oooh, Form B-Seventy-Seven
(Submit it before noon break)
Burnin’ down the weekend
(With a non-disclosure cake)
Tempo of my leisure
Set to fiscal code
We dance in single file
On the compliance road

Riddim of the scanner gun
A cubicle is where I run
My dreadlocks made of Ethernet
My soul's been sold to the intranet

Blessed be the filing tray
I serve the fax, I do not sway

Oooh, Form B-Seventy-Seven
(Don’t you dare go off the grid)
Freedom’s in procedure
(That’s what the pamphlet did)
Every step is measured
Each sigh notarized
This reggae got no wobble
It’s structurally advised



Bureaucracy Reggae

Gud moorning piipöl

Aim oupen njyy peits mai juutuup tsänel
Ai, nou, tät is mai kitsen änd mai rous
uhhh, ai snif mai rous, veri gud, teist
Nou nou nou tis moorning ai poilin mai kofe meiker

Nou, ai, jes fres woterr
fres woterr finnis woter is guud
woter, woter pest woter in tö wöörlt
Tis is mai röfritköreittör, jes

Ai niid kofi änd milkk
pat not taim is milkk
pikoos milkk is vörm
öm ai niid öh ai niid peippör

kofi peippör pat wot is tät
öh tät öh riöl neim?
Wot is tät peippör riöl neim
Ai sei'ing kofi peippör

kofi saifon peippör
Duu juu laik tät neim?
Jes mai laif is njyy peids
Ai took ounli Inglis

Jes ai niid spuun änd kofi
Nou juu wots wen ai poiling mai
Poiling mai kofi
Ouppen ouppen ouppen

Tät is veri difikulti
Van händ sat ap sat ap
Juu eiter sat ap voter
Tät is veri fani

Ou mai spuun, ai teik mai kofi ounli Inglis
Nou. Ai niid van änd khälf spuun kofi
Kofi öö öö vat is tät neim?
Nou nou nou nou tät is diffikult

Ai sei, ai dropp offf mai spuun
änd teik mai kofi kofi kofi
Niid not varm kofi niid kould
Pikoos kofi insaid os flesh

Not flesh
Ai niid dät I niid dät I niid dät
Tät is kofi tät is veri dei
Dei deintsör pikoos kofi is varm jes

Is tät laik terriblöö
Ven ai spiik inglish juu juu juu
ömm öm öm juu klik off dät tsänel
Jes ai jes ai jes foor kaps in voter

If juu laik mai video juu pus dät paton
Ven finker is jees juu pus paton
Ven piktsöör is seim äss finker
öh öh vat is tät

Pat juu pus dät paton ven is teik piktsöör
If juu laik mai vidious
Pauer on ful pauer mai kofi mäsiin is ful pauer
Ven ai visit inglish änd ai

Cofe Time For in Talk English

Born in a truck bed, swaddled in a flag
Raised on diesel, chew, and unfiltered brags
Got a Bible in my glove box, a Glock in my jeans
And a bumper sticker longer than my self-esteem

I ain't scared of your facts or your fancy degrees
My truth's got boots, and it drinks antifreeze

I got a Trump Card, baby, tattooed on my chest
Ain’t about size, it’s about who screams best
Micropenis glory, still outranks your hog
'Cause freedom’s in my blood, not your Berkeley blog

I once wrestled guilt in a Waffle House stall
Shot a Bud Light can off a courthouse wall
I pledge allegiance with a barbecue stain
And if it ain't Trump, then we cancel the brain

Your Prius won’t tow what my morals can drag
And I iron my jorts with the Confederate flag

I got a Trump Card, baby, scratched into my truck
I may be short, but I vote like I’m fucked
Micropenis proud, with a nuclear gaze
Turnin’ liberal logic into mayonnaise

Call me toxic? That’s a compliment, son
I recycle rage and I chew it for fun
No need for ten pounds — I got precision and wrath
And a roadmap to heaven through a gas station bath

So take your textbooks and shove 'em in a yurt
I got ten commandments inked on my undershirt

I got a Trump Card, baby, and it fits in my pants
I vote with my fists and I square-dance with rants
Micropenis justice, sharp like a spade
Diggin’ graves for elites with a tailgate parade

Trump Card

Lacerated skull, the ligma spread
A decade lodged in cranium dread
Nerve rot in spiral, brainstem decay
Grandmother Jon, dragged inch by day

Enumclaw weeps in fungal breath
Each sunrise birthed a newer death

Cranial ligma, wrathful tomb
Synaptic spores erupt and bloom
She died with dignity, I screamed in shame
Zaitsev blood, ignites the flame

Grief-etched in warranty claims I write
To Dell, in sorrow, black and white
You sold me hardware, she sold me love
Now all I hold is ash above

Restrain your pity, let silence burst
This wound demands the very worst

Cranial ligma, festering grace
The maggots sing inside her face
Circuit boards can't mend the hole
That swallowed Egor’s shattered soul

Bury her deep, beneath Enumclaw snow
Where elk don’t graze, and routers glow
I plead for rest, I beg for peace
Let mourning scream, then let it cease

One more breath through blood I gift
Let tombstone serve the final shift

Cranial ligma — cold and true
Her neurons gone, I mourn through you
Respect the grave, deny the sale
The Life of Egor, a brutal tale

Cranial Ligma

An ode to Taco Beef, the most glorious of land-based vertebrates

Ode to Taco Beef

Saw my shadow in a rubber suit, talkin' to a mime
Mirror on the ceiling, whisperin' in rhymes
Stopped my watch at half-past noon, fed it lemon rind
Danced with my reflection, beep beep back in time

Static on the radio, cracklin' like a spine
Every clock’s a joker, tickin' in a line

Beep beep back in time
Neon shoes, twisted signs
Shadows grow and wriggle free
Funked up, folded history

Pigeons made of cardboard, shufflin' down the street
Gumball machine prophet, hummin' broken beats
Found a penny in the gutter, felt my life unwind
Danced with my reflection, beep beep back in time

Spirals in my coffee cup, swirlin' by design
Paintings on my wall, startin' to align

Beep beep back in time
Neon shoes, twisted signs
Shadows grow and wriggle free
Funked up, folded history

Traffic lights are laughing, red and green collide
Met a postman with no letters, said his thoughts had died
Rolled my eyes across the pavement, let the world rewind
Danced with my reflection, beep beep back in time

Letters falling out my mouth, scribbled every line
All my words a paper trail, foldin' into mine

Beep beep back in time
Neon shoes, twisted signs
Shadows grow and wriggle free
Funked up, folded history

Beep Beep Back in Time

Rats scatter as the cleaver falls
Cracked teeth bite through the human sprawl
Maggot-tongue whispers, hunger unchained
Marrow-rich feasts, every limb retained

Matted beard, sinew frayed
Flesh and bone, my gourmet prey

Delicious, succulent hobo, raw and pure
Every tendon, every joint, my banquet obscure
Street-born flavour, muscle wrapped in grime
Every bite a ritual, a feast so sublime

Knuckles crack as the fire ignites
Hobo spit crackles in the gutter light
Spine snaps clean with a butcher’s grace
Roaming hunter, silent in his taste

Bleeding gums, rust-stained blade
Every corpse a meal, every death repaid

Delicious, succulent hobo, raw and pure
Every tendon, every joint, my banquet obscure
Street-born flavour, muscle wrapped in grime
Every bite a ritual, a feast so sublime

Carve the ribs, twist the spine
Pry the tendons, snap the mind
Gutless, heartless, primal feast
On the streets, I’m the final beast

Jagged teeth, feral gaze
Blood-slicked smile, I haunt their strays

Delicious, succulent hobo, raw and pure
Every tendon, every joint, my banquet obscure
Street-born flavour, muscle wrapped in grime
Every bite a ritual, a feast so sublime

Delicious Succulent Hobo

Mojo Priest (instrumental)

In a world where zombies groan
And T-Virus has been blown
There’s a guy who’s all alone
Punching boulders, breaking stone

He’s got muscles, got the power
In the final, fateful hour
Boulders crumble, villains cower
Chris Redfield, he’s the flower

Chris Redfield, punching boulders
With a love that never smolders
Rainbow heart, and perfect shoulders
He just punches, feeling bolder

Chris Redfield, with a bulge in his pants
Chris Redfield, gobbling eggplants

Wesker smirks and plans his doom
Umbrella’s schemes in every room
But Chris just cracks his knuckles, boom
Turns a mansion to a tomb

Fists like anvils, iron pride
Every boulder’s terrified
Earth itself seems to abide
When he swings his arms so wide

Chris Redfield, punching harder
Splits the rock, a human martyr
Veins like cables, chest like armor
He’s the boulder’s final charmer

Chris Redfield, with a bulge in his pants
Chris Redfield, gobbling eggplants

Raging storms and howling gales
Zombies fall like shattered scales
Every strike a myth regales
He’s the fist that never fails

Flesh and granite, bone and might
Breaking stone, embracing fight
With each punch, the earth takes flight
Chris Redfield, endless spite

Chris Redfield, punching boulders
With a love that never smolders
Rainbow heart, and perfect shoulders
He just punches, feeling bolder

Chris Redfield, with a bulge in his pants
Chris Redfield, gobbling eggplants

Boulder Punching Man

Graduated from Corman Park College of Dental Numismatics in 1993, with a graduate degree in Experimental Post-Sludge.

mchorsebones@gmail.com

New tracks tagged #experimental post-sludge