Resist sin in your marriage at every turn. Do not think that you are the exception or that you are somehow above sin, and it will not destroy you. When you see it, kill it. If it is more than you can handle, call for the caregivers (local church) and let them help you kill it. The most ungracious thing you can do is let it persist in your marriage. I’ve counseled many spouses who refused to take this advice. Instead of implementing a biblical plan to restore the brokenness in their marriages, they nourished and cherished other things that became replacements for their infected marriages. Here are ten of those marriage replacements:

Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-29-ten-ways-ignore-marriage-problems/

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Day 29 Marriage Devotion: Ten Ways to Ignore Your Marriage Problems

Biff does not want to lead his wife. He feels like a hypocrite trying to lead her while sporadically sinning against her. Biff asked his counselor, “How can I lead her and sin against her at the same time?” Admittedly, Mable does not make it any easier on Biff as she reminds him of his sin when he tries to lead her. Biff took the position that it is better not to lead Mable at all if he’s going to sin against her. He has three options.

Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/husbands-dilemma-i-lead-you-i-sin-against-you/

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Day 30 Marriage Devotion: Husband's Dilemma: I Lead You; I Sin Against You

There are no his versus her problems in anyone’s marriage. There are one flesh problems. Your physical body is an excellent illustration of this worldview. If your finger is hurting, your body is hurting. If there is something wrong with your one flesh marriage, regardless of who is struggling, the whole body is in the struggle. Though you have unique lives, you are one flesh, too. What are the implications and practical applications of two unique people who become one flesh?

Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/your-husbands-problems-are-your-problems-your-wifes-problems-are-your-problems/

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There Are No His or Her Problems in Marriage

How do you know when a desire for love has changed into a need for love? It’s an excellent question, and the first place to begin a diagnosis like this is with anger. Anger is the quickest way to discern if someone’s craving for love has jumped from a desire to a controlling need. It is not necessarily wrong to desire something like love from another, but when a desire becomes all-controlling, we’re in the deep weeds of relationship trouble. One of the ways you will know if your desire for something has taken over control of your mind is if you become sinfully angry when someone does not meet that desire. This concept applies to any desire you may have.

Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/his-needs-her-needs-arent-real-needs/

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His Needs, Her Needs Aren't Real Needs

Most relationships begin with transparency, honesty, courage, and optimism. At some point, these things break down. The husband and wife drift from each other, and silence ensues. Even the best intentions derail if the couple does not know how to keep the transforming power of the gospel as the animating center of their relationship. Let me explain.

Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/do-you-know-what-your-wife-is-thinking-2/

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Do You Know What Your Wife Is Thinking?

Sexual intimacy is one of the quickest indicators that reveals how a couple is doing in their marriage. Why? Because it is the most physical and intimate thing they will ever do together. It is different from talking, dating, dinner, or a movie. Sex requires more. Sex demands more from two people. You can do many things as a married couple and even pretend to get along, but sex is the litmus test that reveals the authentic reality of your covenant.

Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/sex-for-a-woman/

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Sex for a Woman, According to a Man

No human has absolute authority over another. This perspective should be common sense, but it’s not for everyone, including Christians. A dictatorial husband and father can put wives and children in a difficult spot, which begs the question that folks have asked me for decades: “Do you think it’s right to correct my authoritarian husband?” This chapter will be instructive and directive for those in this type of relationship.

Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/do-you-think-its-right-to-correct-my-authoritarian-husband/

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Do You Think It's Right to Correct My Authoritarian Husband?

Some husbands and wives can have a hard time putting a broken marriage back together. Typically, expectations and disappointments create a backlog of unresolved conflict. Unforgiveness sets in, the death toll to any relationship. When a couple gets to this point, pride becomes the unscaleable wall between them. They have lost the vision of Christ and His church in their union. I’ve developed this reflective study to help a couple in this situation to tear down that seemingly insurmountable wall.

Read. Watch, or Listen:https://lifeovercoffee.com/here-is-practical-help-to-restore-a-broken-marriage/

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Here Is Practical Help to Restore a Broken Marriage

Marriage counseling has historically been the most common type of counseling I have done, which makes sense because the marriage relationship is unique in that there is not supposed to be an escape clause. Marriage is for life. This fact makes marriage the perfect context for relationship sharpening. There are times when counseling is essential because of the fallenness of the couple and the need for community. If your marriage is bad, you more than likely are doing some of the following things. These are some of the most oft-repeated mistakes I have seen in poor marriages.

Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/ten-tips-to-kill-your-marriage/

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Ten Ways to Kill Your Marriage

Join us for Part 3 of The Wives Restoration Series with Jen Rhoads! A four-part series giving us a glimpse into the lives of 4 different wives and their side of their husband's restoration story.

Jen grew up in a conservative religious family, knowing she was loved but never hearing it. She became a Christian at 13, motivated more by the fear of going to hell than a love for God. Marlin experienced a very similar upbringing, they met at a Bible school one summer, and would eventually get married. Early challenges in the marriage arose as they left their home church, stopped attending church altogether, and Marlin started hanging out with the wrong crowd. These unhealthy habits eventually led to Marlin asking Jen to move out.

Despite these trials, Jen's unwavering faith carried her. In 2012, after a season of separation, Marlin wanted to get back together but it wouldn't last long. After their daughter was born Jen discovered that Marlin was having an affair and now faced with the pain of a second separation. Through it all, Jen leaned on God, practicing what she calls "benevolent detachment," releasing burdens and trusting in His plan. A turning point came when she felt God promise a shift in their marriage—and in November 2014, Marlin sought to reconcile again.

Fast forward to 2020, during another rough patch, Marlin signed up for a one-to-one mentorship with Men of Iron. The mentorship transformed his life. The encouragement and camaraderie from another man helped Marlin grow as a husband, father, and spiritual leader. Today, Jen sees the fruits of this decision—their marriage has stability, their children feel the peace in their home, and Jen has found it easier to trust God.

If you are looking to take the next step in your faith journey, let us be a resource for you, contact us today – menofiron.org/contact-us

You can now watch the Men of Iron Podcast on YouTube – www.youtube.com/@men_of_iron. Listen to the Men of Iron Podcast on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Subscribe, listen and share! Find out more at menofiron.org/podcast

Regardless of where you are in your journey, we have the tools and experiences for you. We provide one-to-one coaching, small group, and retreat curriculum. To know God is an adventure, and we are calling all men to conquer the mountain ahead of us. 

Check out our Free Resources here menofiron.org/basecamp-free/

To find a mentor or mentor another man visit menofiron.org/thesummit-mentorship/

For Retreat Resources visit menofiron.org/programs/eq-elite/

For Small Group Resources visit menofiron.org/theclimb/thepitch/

A Wife’s Journey Through Marital Trials to Redemption (EP. 253)

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master's University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).

The Men of Iron Podcast. A podcast for men. Engaging and relevant discussions for the Christian man. Look out for a NEW EPISODE every Monday morning, at 7AM (EST)! The video version is back! Watch now on YouTube, listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you stream your podcasts!

New tracks tagged #marriage problems