An AI pastiche based on Dylan's Desolation Row. Once I had the tagline, the lyrics more or less wrote themselves.

FAR AWAY FROM BUTTE

The memory shops are shuttered
Juanita's closed her stall,
Nobody's buying honey cakes
Or anything at all.

There's a wall down by the fortress
Where rebels stood their ground
But the man who does the guided tour
Is nowhere to be found.

They've cancelled all the guidebooks
The author's in dispute
He may be in Montana,
But he's far away from Butte.

The statue of a French girl
Beside the market square
Is pointing down a road that 
Doesn't take us anywhere.

They say that she saw visions
Of a city on a hill,
But no-one ever built the thing
And no-one ever will.

They've dressed her in a crinoline,
They say that she looks cute.
We're somewhere in Montana,
But we're far away from Butte.

The transatlantic flier
Has landed in a field
The troopers have their guns on him
Commanding him to yield.

Meanwhile, outside the courtroom
The bookie's taking bets
On what he will be charged with
And the sentence that he gets.

The navigator got away,
She had a parachute.
She's somewhere in Montana,
But far away from Butte.

I sat in at the poker school
Inside the old hotel.
When I drew the Jack of Hearts I thought
I was doing pretty well.

But I was beaten by a trump
Of an entirely different suit.
I'm somewhere in Montana,
But I'm miles away from Butte.

Far Away From Butte

While undoubtedly a masterpiece, Paul Simon's classic falls short of its promise to provide 50 ways of exiting a relationship.  By way of affectionate homage, I figured I'd have a go at redressing that oversight.  Alas, I only managed...

49 Ways

Jump into a cab, Rab
Hide out in a yurt, Bert
Haul off on a barge, Raj
				– Just listen to me

Pack up and depart, Bart
Storm out in a huff, Clough
Creep softly away, Jay
				– And get yourself free

Go train as a Nun, hun
File for a divorce, Horst
Refuse to be there, Cher
				– Just listen to me

Leave 'em on mute, Klute
Get fed to a shark, Mark
Skip to the denouement, Vron
				– And get yourself free

Announce you "need space", Grace
Change every lock, Jock
Be absent for good, Knud
				– Just listen to me

Pretend to be dead, Ted
Merge into the horde, Maude
Break into a trot, Scott
				– And get yourself free

Wash 'em out of your hair, Claire
Make away with their stash, Ash
Disappear without trace, Trace
				– Just listen to me

Vacate the flat, Pat
Abscond from the hive, Clive
See that towel? Throw it in, Quinn
				– And get yourself free

Go off like an egg, Meg
Slip away down the drain, Blaine
Cease washing at all, Saul
				– Just listen to me

Critique their physique, Zeke
Blurt out the truth, Ruth
Hook up with their dad, Brad
				– And get yourself free

Unfriend them online, Brian
Trash 'em on 'X', Rex
Bombard them with spam, Pam
				– Just listen to me

Cut yourself loose, Bruce
Send your ass through the mail, Gail
Just bloody well leave, Niamh
				– And get yourself free

Take your foot off the brake, Jake
Let out the clutch, Hutch
Pull away from the kerb, Herb
				– Just listen to me

Go your own way, Fay
Forge a new path, Cath
Bin all the shared toys, Joy
				– And get yourself free

Climb into a safe, Raef
Confirm their worst fears, Piers
Head home to your mam, Sam.
				– Just listen to me

Show a clean pair of heels, Nils
De–nidificate, Kate
Can’t egress?  Evanesce, Jess
				– And get yourself free


And if none of these work, Herc
If they won't let you go, Joe
Are they straight..?  Say you're Bi. (Bye!)
				– That one did it for me!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

© Ken Cumberlidge 29–10–2023, with acknowledgement to Beth Hartley
Image: creative commons Wiki

49 Ways  (Live at the REST Cafe, Norwich, 21st Dec 2024)

you asked me to help you and i gave my best for you && you wouldnt even acknowledge me. i made this in 2014. it was a competition to mix and master stems from a band. i never heard back from anyone about my submission, probably bc i cut it up and made a new arrangement. mine was better than the original.

N‡MM - burnmeasisleep

Mince's second track with Matt Peel (Dream Wife, Treeboy & Arc), prescribes a new post-punk experience. A concoction of Pub rock and Bubblegum Pop. Going down surprisingly smooth in under two minutes, '(Don't Forget) You Can't Swim' is a cautionary tale about how carelessness can lead to the deep end pretty quickly.

Heavily inspired by the teenage tragedy songs of the 60s, like 'Johnny Remember Me' and 'Tell Laura I Love Her', this antiquated ditty pokes fun at the genre's tropes, whilst demonstrating awe for the era itself. This makes for a noisy and playful pastiche of the long-forgotten hits of the early 60s.

(Don't Forget) You Can't Swim

Roadworks on the B6369 is for the people who feel the need to change rather than be vulnerable. Your French can only take you so far, one day it's going to come down to saying what you mean.

Inspired by 'Yé-yé' compilations, Pixies and gimmicky songwriting, we came up with something steeped in pastiche, yet wholly original in it's approach, coming in at a quick 1.5 minutes. 

Roadworks on the B6369

Just in time for Christmas a shameless cover of Santa Claus is Coming to town

Trump is On Epstein's List

traqueteao

gone

#serious-discussion

FRIENDSLOP 2005

Festivalkater

Pastiche de la groupie du pianiste sauce madère

La groupie socialiste - 2025

Encore un Michel Berger mais j'ai été obligé

Sarko libre - 2025

Now I was goin’ to Brownhills, down that trusty old A5,
And I had to cross Wall Island, beat the rush hour, and stay alive.
The dead-eyed flight from Birmingham to Lichfield was in flow,
The queues were long, the lights were red, and there was nowhere I could go.

Now every lane was marked up with the destination clear,
But patience ain’t a virtue, for them AUDI drivers here.
A sound of horns, a screech of tyres, another lucky miss,
At least I’m driving, imagine trying to cycle your way through this.

I reached the front, I picked a lane, took off across the line,
I took the turn, with room to spare, and thought it would be fine.
But a 44 ton wagon with his precious Tesco load,
He cut me up and he spat me out upon the Lichfield Road.

Now I’m counting traffic, lucky stars and no surprise,
I find myself relaxing with a big mac, shake and fries.


Ballad of Wall Island

Five men who cumulatively become Mince. Post-punk, indie, rock - you name it!

Wolf of Borg – AI Music Without Limits

Alas its a sad day for me. Due to continued issues with soundcloud, I am moving to United Masters for all of my releases. Soundcloud have already warned me that they will be deleting all my music, but It will have been released before that happens. Honestly, if you are intending to release music, I'd look elsewhere, Soundcloud are prescriptive and stifle creativity. Their Customer service is virtually inaccessible, unhelpful, and unable to resolve issues. They actively hinder creators instead of supporting them.

Wolf of Borg... Still Creating... Still releasing, just not through SoundCloud... I'll just take my 200,000 streams elsewhere ;)

venezuelan. music is my hobby
https://fzxfzxfzx.bandcamp.com
also on spotify as fzx

If you want consistency, you've come to the wrong place. 
But seriously? Try my albums.
https://soundcloud.com/jon-jermey/albums

KEN CUMBERLIDGE: POETRY
To see the full text and publication details of any poem, click on its track title.

"Honest, unflinching, emotionally intelligent and stunningly crafted." - Cathy Carson

Multiple slam-winner, finalist at Hammer & Tongue Cambridge 2018 and 2019, Ken Cumberlidge cut his performance teeth on the pub poetry scene of the 1970s.

Since 2011 Ken has been based in Norwich, but can be lured out of cover by good company and an open mic - a proclivity that has led him to become an habitué of the slam poetry/spoken word scene.

Ken writes about love, sex, nature, loss, identity and queerness, with an occasional foray into the eerie and macabre.  Poke him with a sharp enough stick and he may even wake up long enough to get shouty about politics.

His work has appeared widely in print and online (Algebra of Owls / Allegro / As Above So Below / Bi All Accounts / Bogg / The Fiction Pool / Fire&Dust Anthology / Fragmented Voices / Impspired / Ink, Sweat & Tears / Ludd's Mill / Message in a Bottle / The Open Mouse / Picaroon / Pulsar / Pure Slush / Rat's Ass Review / Runcible Spoon / SMOKE / Snakeskin / Songs of Eretz / Spilling Cocoa… / Strange Poetry / Talking Soup / Timber Ghost Press ...etc).

Headline/featured poet at numerous events/venues, including:

Allographic Open Mic
Beth Hartley "A Holding" book launch
Cambridge PRIDE
FenSpeak
Fire&Dust, Coventry
Hammer & Tongue, Cambridge
High St Poetry, Ely
Incite! LGBTQIA+ Spoken Word Cabaret
Last Poet Standing, Norwich
Oooh Beehive
Poetry at Jurnet's
Poetry Non-Stop podcast
St Andrews Festival, Cambridge
Sunday Night Lives at the Flying Pig
Vron McIntyre "Random Trail" book launch

New tracks tagged #pastiche