this song is about how I will literally mimic someone's likes, dislikes, and behavior to get them to like me, and how I realized I can still take little parts here and there and use them to shape myself like my bestie's stir-fry recipe I make to this day, or the Playlist I listen to that someone made for me even though I dont speak to them anymore 

Stitched Together

This song is about my fears of putting this album out, how I fear that ultimately it'll mean nothing and just fade into the background

Kept in My head

This song is about reckless behavior, specifically reckless driving. I would often speed or make turns/ change lanes without really looking

Pedal down

This song is about how I hope that this album would make my parents proud and that no matter what I'll continue to be loud.
my parents are also directly tied to the album as it was released on 7/20 at 7:19 pm. 7/20 is my dad's birthday and 7/19 is the anniversary of my mom's passing

Bruised But Loud

This song is about the fear of being not enough/ to much in a relationship and asks my "future" partner to please be patient with me because I am trying my best. When I wrote this song I was in the middle of a *nasty* break up

Dear Future Love

this song is about how I've learned that my "monster" (all the previous songs) isn't out to get me and basically everything I learned in therapy. That yes these feelings exist and deserve space to exist but I can't let them control me

My Monster And Me

This song dives headfirst into the murky territory of self-sabotage, mental health and vulnerability. But this isn’t some moral sermon. Instead, RAW plays out as a conversation, a push and pull with a loved one who delivers the hard truths.

Lyrics:
Summer nights,
Winter days,
Can't see the light,
Don't know my name,
And I'm so tired, ill, afraid,
Living a lie,
There's no escape.

Wrestling the demons inside
It's like RAW
Wrestling the demons inside
It's like RAW
Wrestling the demons inside
It's like RAW
Wrestling the demons inside
It's like RAW

Wrestling the demons inside it's like RAW,
Run but there's nowhere to hide
I can't stop,
Gone like a thief in the night
Who take off,
If it rains know a flood gonna rise
I play god.
She's like 'why you tryna sabotage?
Got the world in the palm of your hand
And you pass it off.
Plus you shine too bright to be blending in,
So why you walk around in your camouflage?
Yeah why you tryna fuck it up?
I know things be weighing on your mind
So you lift it up,
But you always end up coming down,
And you been on this shit for days, when is it enough?'

Summer nights,
Winter days,
Can't see the light,
Don't know my name,
And I'm so tired, ill, afraid,
Living a lie,
There's no escape.

Wrestling the demons inside
It's like RAW
Wrestling the demons inside
It's like RAW
Wrestling the demons inside
It's like RAW
Wrestling the demons inside
It's like RAW

And I can see my face in a scary place,
Too much on my plate that's like every day,
Trip to outer space don't know where it take,
‘Nah this is madness’
She like 'come on you can't tell me you're content with average.'
I said 'really baby I was born to be a savage,
I can live without a shower
I don't need a mattress,
All these material objects are extra baggage.'
'Huh,' she said 'you're smart but you're dumb as fuck,
You waste your time every time and you push your luck,
Getting faded and then feeling rough,
So don't ask me why you're always falling in a rut.'
Damn.

Summer nights,
Winter days,
Can't see the light,
Don't know my name,
And I'm so tired, ill, afraid,
Living a lie.

Wrestling the demons inside
It's like RAW
Wrestling the demons inside
It's like RAW
Wrestling the demons inside
It's like RAW
Wrestling the demons inside
It's like RAW

This song was written in July 2025; this video is a stripped back version played just on Yamaha Pacifica electric guitar with vocals.

The vocal mic is a good ol' Shure SM58 and the processing / mixing was done in Logic Pro.

I think you can tell that I'm less rehearsed performing this version than the piano version [ https://youtu.be/ZhJRtfS_Fwc ] but I wanted to upload it anyway. Who cares?

LYRICS
My god what’s this?
My gutlessness
It knows no bounds
It makes no sounds

Just silent me
Anxiety
Chokes down each wish
Strangled, dismissed 

Give in
Capitulate a bit
Give up your dreams
Give up your dreams
Give up
Give up
Give up
Give up
Give up
Give up
Give up

Again again again
Every single time
Again again again
This life’s no good
This life’s not mine

Again again again
Every single time
Again again again
This life’s no good
This life’s not mine

It’s my duty
Does this to me
A noiseless drum
An empty gun

A plastic man
Is what I am
No force, no drive
No more alive

Resign, concede
Don’t take the lead
Regret and grieve
Regret and grieve
Regret
Regret
Regret
Regret
Regret
Regret
Regret

Again again again
Every single time
Again again again
This life’s no good
This life’s not mine

Approve approve!
Can’t think, can’t move
Can’t stand, can’t sit
Permit permit!
Please validate
Please validate
Apparently
This is my fate

Again again again
Every single time
Again again again
This life’s no good
This life’s not mine
This life’s no good
This life’s not mine
It’s all just been a waste of time 
Oh no

Music & Lyrics Copyright (c) 2025 Mark CBH
Lyrics reproduced with permission

Website: https://www.markcbh.com
Contact / sync: info@grooveplacemusic.com


Needy - Guitar Version

Do you crave connection but keep everyone at arm's length? You might be what Tracy calls an "accidental asshole."

You're not trying to be a jerk. You built that wall as a kid to survive. But now it's blocking the very thing you want most.

You date with one foot in, one foot out. You need drama to feel anything. When someone actually wants to love you? Boring. Or terrifying.

Stop waiting for someone who won't trigger you. That person doesn't exist. The work is dealing with the discomfort of letting someone in.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why you need tension to feel attraction
* How the "perfect person" fantasy keeps you unavailable
* Why you get pissed when you actually get attached
* Why you contact exes months later
* How to feel without the protective facade

"Emotionally available people do not seek out unavailability." ~ Tracy Crossley


#816: The Truth About The Accidental A$$hole

Are you exhausted from trying to make everything happen? From kicking down doors and forcing your way into opportunities that never quite pan out?

Stop. Just stop.

You think you're being proactive, but you're actually running from yourself. Every time you force something—a relationship, a job, a business opportunity—you're telling the universe you don't trust it to deliver. You're saying you're not enough as you are.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why forcing comes from not believing in yourself
* How attachment keeps you stuck in patterns of scarcity and desperation
* The difference between taking action and forcing outcomes
* Why avoidants struggle to value what they already have
* How to break the cycle of work hard → fail → repeat

"When you force, you're never emotionally available. I was forcing because I thought that would open a door that would bring what was missing, but it never did." ~ Tracy Crossley


#819: Are You Still Forcing Sh** to Happen?

Born in the U.S.
Raised in Australia
Chill Rap + Sample-Heavy Beats
Forever an Outcast

Writing these songs is cheaper than therapy. Unless you count all the guitars and plugins and stuff.

A lot of us live in our head, disconnected from our feelings and intuition. This podcast touches on releasing insecure attachment, accepting your authentic self and getting “unstuck” by connecting to how you FEEL instead of how you THINK. I’ve been there, and discuss sensitive subjects using my own experiences with a lot of laughs and even more empathy… because we’re all flawed humans.

Hai! I’m Autumn Grace — thank you for being here.
If you’ve found my music, whether by accident or on purpose, I’m truly grateful. I don’t want your money—I just want to share my feelings, and maybe you’ll hear something that feels like you.

I make music for the ones who feel too much, for the ones searching for something that understands. If that’s you… I hear you. Can you hear me too?

New tracks tagged #self-sabotage