BUDD BROTHERS - BACK II BACK  [MAS2]

BIGHOMIE$LIM - SOLO KUP [MAS1]

BIGHOMIE$LIM - HIGH LEVEL CONVERSATIONS

BIGHOMIE$LIM - LIFT [DHURT]

BIGHOMIE$LIM - TOUCHDOWN [DHURT]

Invasive Maneuvers

i, pariah

day 4 feels a little more human, a little less pain. a lot more decay, but that's all the same.

JAMUARY 2024

[JAM24.4] NINESIGNSWEST

From the album Incongruous, available on cassette on TONN Recordings Bandcamp. guinaepig.bandcamp.com/album/incongruous

Mastering by Thanos Mylonas
Image © David Copeland
Design by Niuew NDG

Incongruous

The Perillos Procedure (from the TONN RECORDINGS cassette Incongruous)

5 CVQ 暗い

BIGHOMIE$LIM - HYPERBOLIC HOTBOX [R.I.P AKIRA]

Obnubilate

The Blessing Is The Curse

I wrote "Am I Not a Man?" from a deeply personal place, inspired by struggles to find identity and strength in a world quick to define what it means to be a "man". Growing up, we're often told to "man up", that we shouldn't cry, that there's some unspoken rule to follow; belch, curse, don't cry, like sports, don't show emotion. But what if that blueprint doesn't fit?

The song contains samples of Keaton Jones, a victim of bullying, whose honesty, pain and venerability echoed with me and with anyone who's ever felt out of place for simply being themselves. It's not about defiance; it's about questioning.

-----------------------------------------
LYRICS
-----------------------------------------
[Keaton Jones part 1]
"They call me ugly... They say I have no friends..."

[VERSE 1]
Am I not a man if I don’t belch or curse?
If I keep my thoughts clean, am I making it worse?
If I don’t fit the image, or the plan they set in stone,
If I don’t stare at every curve, does it mean I’m alone?

Am I not a man if I feel pain too?
Is it weakness to cry when my heart’s split in two?
They tell me “man up,” like I’m not even trying,
Is it strength if I hold back, or is it strength in crying?

[CHORUS]
Am I... not a man?
Is there a rulebook in your hand?
Can I... just be me?
Or do I have to live this image... endlessly?

[Keaton Jones part 2]
"Just out of curiosity, why do they bully? What's the point of it? Why do you find joy in taking innocent people and finding a way to being mean to them?"

[VERSE 2]
Am I not a man if I like fine arts?
If colors draw me in, am I weak at heart?
If pink’s on my shirt, am I breaking the mold,
Or just writing my own story, letting myself unfold?

If I skip out on sports, avoid bars and guns,
Am I less of a man, just trying to run?
Maybe I don’t fit in, and it’s all a sham,
But I’m doing my best — am I not a man?

[BREAK]
Do I... have to choose?
Am I... here to lose?

[CHORUS]
Am I... not a man?
Is there a rulebook in your hand?
Can I... just be me?
Or do I have to live this image... endlessly?

[Keaton Jones part 3]
"It's not okay... People that are different don't need to be criticized about it... because it's not their fault..."

[BRIDGE]
I may not match the version in your eyes,
But this life’s my own, I won’t apologize
Every step, every choice, I take for me
Does that make me a man, or just set me free?

[Keaton Jones part 4]
"But if you are made fun of just don't... don't let it bother you, stay strong I guess... It's hard..."

[CHORUS]
Am I... not a man?
Is there a rulebook in your hand?
Can I... just be me?
Or do I have to live this image... endlessly?

"Am I not... a man...?"
"If I’m just... being me?"

Am I Not a Man?

Ancillary Scratch

downhill, far away in time
an encapsulated selection of commodities

A genderless, voiceless creature of unknown origin.

Weekly mix-tapes can be found here:  https://soundcloud.com/duct-ape/sets

New tracks tagged #sludgewave