The third poem in a 3 part series about love. This is a spoken word piece documenting my epic journey of falling out of love and being brave to stand on my own again. In this poem I talk about the spell that once held me happily captive is now breaking and I must now let go and go forward. The other 2 poems (Stripping and Caught in His Web) share being vulnerable to love and the bliss of being caught in the web of love, yet the love ran its course and now I must come back to loving myself. Heart break means you were brave enough to love, keep loving!

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Broken ⏳❤️‍🩹

There was a time when I was lost in you
intoxicated by your ways
your words
your touch
your everything 

a puppet in your play 
rehearsing a script that wasn’t even mine
surrendered to a power outside me 
stripped down naked yet awakened 
controlled by your spell of love

caught in your web of seduction
the lines blurred 
where I started and you ended

the tension within 
growing 
knowing and maybe even liking 
the feeling of 
…losing myself 

a ride like no other
bringing me both farther away 
and closer to myself. 

emotional whiplash
an open parentheses 
a run on sentence 
unpunctuated and grammatically wild
desperately seeking the period 
to end the looping.

what is this dimension I am spinning in
completely mesmerized by you
your pretend promises 
of togetherness and us
of we and later
of sacred and safe
of I love you. 

a dream I still dream
a desire I still desire

I will not give up 
on me
on my vision
on my worth

the rain drops collect on the web 
loosing the captured grip that once held me happily captive 
I start to feel again

stretching my gaze past the web
my eyes seeing again

hearing the sounds outside my head
my heart beats 
again 

for me
not you. 
anymore.

the spell is breaking…

sober to the other reality 
no longer lost in fantasy  
just lost in the wishing and wanting 
to do it all over again
to have all the firsts get me drunk 
lost in time
time is lost

having something I always wanted
wanting something I can never have 
again

the strings of the puppet start to break
as I fall 
to the ground
truth is revealed 

acting the part becomes harder and harder 
my inner voice becomes louder and louder 

I tried to knot it back up
to patch it and fix it
push it under the rug
for now…
for later
for when I feel strong enough to stand on my own.

Instead.
a moment of clarity.
or maybe a moment of bravery.
a moment nonetheless took over me.

I cut the strings not knowing if I could withstand the pain, 
the gravity, 
the fear of being on the stage 
alone. 
again.

but something is different now
I am not drunk on you
I see through the curtain 
I see the me that is real 
I see the you that is not
I see why I must let go 
and go
forward
towards what is calling me 
forward 
towards what wants me
forward 
towards the next version of me

because…

I will not lose myself for you 
I will not lose myself for you
I will not lose myself for you
or for anyone…

The spell is broken but I am not. 

- Lisa Meta 
2024

Broken

AUDIO IMPACT / Short poetic meditations to inspire awareness of your thoughts so you can be the creator of your life.

New tracks tagged #spellisbroken