[AMV]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNv4eGItpyg 
produced by @nate2timezz & i
thank you endlessly for listening.
more to come in time
🖤

they say, "you're not alone"
but i'm weighing myself down to the bone
i'm deprived of your voice, your expressions, your tones
they scream, "don't.. go"
but i guess you didn't listen
i hope that you just missed it

i'm losing my grip on reality
i need some help or just someone around me
not a physical family
the moment feelings all erupt
they can't handle your trust
guess i was too much of a burden from the cut
but don't let yourself go and doubt on me
the ocean is howling
that's my kind of outing
you don't know the hurt that it brings
can't focus, can't breathe
i love you, but you know what i think?

i'm way too detached
you don't got my back
been tryna distract
"that boy's such a drag"
i lay in my bed; think things never meant
her hand; never leant
where have you been, love

that girl made me feel like i didn't wanna suffer
validated all my reasons
and then continued to smother
cards all on the table
the table's brittle as fuck
cause you leave with no intentions of hurting me
that's enough-

if what you say is what you mean
then fall back onto me
i'll swallow up your misery
i don't care what it brings
i'll be your puppet with no strings
just show me that i have meaning
like a matter, or a purpose
just a reason that i'm breathing
i've been wishing on the stars since a kid
they're where my arms don't reach
but my eyes look past them
the scars make a pretty constellation
they connect all i see
but at the end of the day, they still look past it

you gotta hope it lasts
you're holding yourself back
if you're falling, your wings' cracked
you gotta snap em back
and when the sky becomes the ceiling,
i'll throw rocks to make it crash
oh, don't look back (2x)

through and through
every time i break down my own recluse
just because i thought they understood me too
from my point of view
they never do (2x)

they say, "you're not alone"
but i'm weighing myself down to the bone
i'm deprived of your voice, your expressions, your tones
you've never known
but i guess you didn't listen
i hope that you dismissed it.

everlast [prod. nate2timez x autumndropsdead]

everything by me
been working on a lot
seriously way more to come
hope you enjoy. 
thank you so much for listening.
your support means beyond any means to me.

i know i can't keep killing me off slowly
putting my dreams behind me
i find it so damn unlikely; 
remind me
quiet lifestyle, but defiled by this thoughts of mine
memories are heaven
'till you are what you forgot in time
don't care..
you don't care
you don't care, anymore.

i can see appeal
conflicted with the feeling
a burden on myself
it feels like i just killed me
get over that hill
down another cup of coffee
relive how it felt
to think, see, hear, and feel nothing

over-sensitized and ill
aye, when's it my turn to heal?
insinuate that better place you've always dreamt of only kills
until we fall and call it quits
by stone or gun that don't exist
i was here for all of this
(i was here for all of this)

i know i can't keep killing me off slowly
putting my dreams behind me
i find it so damn unlikely; remind me

how i got here, and who i am to stand by
'cause with fragile ears and hearts,
we've always been paralyzed, paralyzed
no wonder, why.

(killing me off slowly)
(putting my dreams behind me)
(i find it so damn unlikely)
(remind me)

all of this

ｓｃａｔｔｅｒ　ｍｙ　ａｓｈ　ｔｈｅｎ　ｐｕｔ　ｆｌｏｗｅｒｓ　ｉｎ

keep going
love you guys.
ty all so so much for the support recently
check up on your friends, and in retrospect, more importantly yourself.
thank you so much for listening.
prod @cartermetro x @gavinhadley 🖤

(i barely feel at home right now)
(so i sedate through the drink and hope it all works out)

cauterize with the lime
press on the wound 'till i start feeling fine
why are the genuine so hard to find
but if i was counterfeit,
i would shatter on the ground when i fall
call; anyone but me at all
i'm out my element, don't be afraid though
i feel like porcelain
scatter my ash then put flowers in

i ain't want screen time
they think i ain't worth shit when my light dies
but i'll brush it off and say, "fine, yeah."
just don't get back to me for hi's
'cause that was our last goodbye

(who am i?) (2x)

avoid coming 'cross me
i don't talk often
sugarcoated but without the chocolate
you got the message, so ignore the comments
but my heart is nauseous, that's the problem
i drink and repeat 'cause i love the peak
down with his men-tal, knights, now the king
stuck in this hell, into hell i will sink
if i died, would you grieve?
i'd like to believe
and i can't remember how i felt
the moment had seized me, it's really so evident
all that remains are reminders and remnants
i wish i told you how i felt.

wade through the rain
cherish the moment
difficulties only prove they're golden
full exhaust, eyes sewn wide open
regard me as dust
just a road with no bliss

foaming at the lips
if i'm human, i admit
i hold a heavy distaste for what you have to say
but i'll listen
i'll listen anyways

cauterize with the lime
press on the wound 'till i start feeling fine
why are the genuine so hard to find
but if i was counterfeit,
i would shatter on the ground when i fall
call; anyone but me at all
i'm out my element, don't be afraid though
i feel like porcelain
scatter my ash then put flowers in

porcelain [prod. cxrter x gavin hadley]

d̴̤̞̹̈́͋i̸̢̥̙̒́̂̓̽s̷̢̡̤̀s̵̢͑̒͠ǫ̸̼̅̈̓c̴̨̥͓̬̓͠i̴͙̻͉͌͆a̴̢̤͈͆̍̌̀̋t̷̗̹͕̟͊̓̓i̴͕̺̝̿̅͘͜ő̴͉ṅ̴͖̰̗͈͛͘͝

dissociation prod. nobodysthereforme

ｎｏ　ａｉｒ，　ｂｕｔ　ｓｏｍｅｈｏｗ　ｉ　ｂｒｅａｔｈｅ　ｔｈｒｏｕｇｈ

prod by my guy @solofttt
fucking love you all.
more on the way
stay strong
take care; drink water
try to get some rest.
thank you for being here

too much
i don't wanna feel too much
(like what?)
beat up; feet are clamped in the mud
no one
fuck this damper wood i'm hunching over every day
you shouldn't feed me love 'cause i'll regurgitate it anyways

that's the price that i'll pay
not to be overcome by my emotions
a hallow frame, left to be hung on it's own
where nobody'll noticed it's changed
feel that pain of your confusion
and just turn it into music
orchestrations of my patience
retrospective-made illusions

just be cautious not to lose it
'cause some bitch said something stupid
trust me, god i know it hurts
but know your worth and keep on moving
somewhere in the sky
just go outside and raise your head
there's reclusive ways to cleanse yourself
without this constant dread
but this toxin's running deeper
i don't know how long i'll last
i misplaced my faith with hatred
as i'm staring down the glass
i ain't hitting you up like i know you (but i do)
but i'm up a few notches, i'll understand
'cause the past, it haunts you (it does)
i try to reach out, but i got ghost hands

felt too much
now i don't feel enough
felt too much
i may have dove a little deep in the ocean
for my lungs,
couldn't handle the pressure that they had been holding
y'all folding, but i'm focused
honestly i feel omnipotent
only when i get my hands on the potion
or i'm broken, i'm not joking
but maybe if i break daylight, then i'll get shit done
and i'll feel alright
with a tone so stale there was no real cry
on a blood-stained trail, we still bleed overnight
fuck, i bet that you feel it again
incisions embellish your skin
and now you're all alone again
deprived of the people you thought were your friends
i made a couple calls, did they go through?
it ain't fair, i really don't wanna miss you
take care, i'll be blowing on tissues
no air, but, somehow i breathe through
it's 4 in the morning, my guardian's snoring
i'm sorry i lied, i've been sippin away
i'd make me some porridge, but puke it by morning
the cycle is horrid, but i ain't complain

indefinite pain ain't just part of my day
it's been shrouding my brain
like a vulturous gate
this shit's an escape
i'm always afraid
of being locked out of my own mental state
try not to run away just yet, i feel you
breaching my skin, for the meantime

too much 
i don't wanna feel too much
(like what?)
beat up; feet are clamped in the mud
no one
fuck this damper wood i'm hunching over every day
you shouldn't feed me love 'cause i'll regurgitate it anyways
(anyways)

woodworks [prod. soloft]

ｕｎｔｉｌ　ｔｈｅ　ｄｕｓｋ　ｅｒｏｄｅｓ，　ｏｒ　ｆｉｎａｌｌｙ　ｇｅｔｓ　ｔｏ　ｍｅ

produced by @cartermetro & @gualabeatz

hey, 
workng on a lot; it's been difficult to come by many things lately, 
but i'm really trying to get there
thank you so much for all your support
thank you so much for listening
thank you for being here
take care of yourselves
i love you
drink water 

i don't wanna lose the emotion
i don't wanna sweep it under the floor
'kay girl fuel that substance
like, somehow it knows you need something more
i don't wanna feel real love yet
'cauese love ain't love, it's knowing your core
and i know you know that you're running
better shape up 'fore you keep that

this is not gonna work
imagine reinvention
tryna recollect my worth, yea
i hope you hear it in the words
or at least over the phone
i'm just a broken bird

when my neck goes stiff i try to stretch it
get some leverage into heaven
seen a lot of angry faces, disappointed my decisions
cold bed, lost friends, time spent just forgetting
sharp pains, dull fate; stimulate the seven senses

oh my, don't cry, feel fine that you're falling (2x)

fuck time killed over cheap thrills
like wine spills for some dopamine
i still that i'm unreal, so i choose to be who i wanna be
not swept up like room dust, when it turns dusk and i can't see
how i once felt, if i did well, for the person who had wanted me

never really know if it's a drill
am i really dying? wish i'd know that
write it all on the will
this windowsill really goes back
when all i had was to heal
now all i have is to collapse
coffee cans over pills
hands quake from the cold blast

this is not gonna work
imagine reinvention
tryna recollect my worth, yea
i hope you hear it in the words
or at least over the phone
i'm just a broken bird
(i'm just broken)

40 minutes pass uh
hot water still rolls off of back yo
never can relax, i
step out the moment the feeling retracts
now i feel in mass
got nowhere to go, so i'm making a track
easy as that
you know that you feel it so fade in the grass

neither fight or flight 'cause i'm aware of my abilities
i'll chalk it up until the dusk erodes or finally gets to me
i guess we tend to trust in what we fight for
but don't let a road become an eyesore
open up your mental, persevere and take a dip
just because you weren't there, it doesn't mean they ain't exist
i create to stimulate when no one's there to fill me in
'cause when your home's a hollow body, i could a little pinch, so

we can probably make it work
imagine reinvention
tryna recollect your worth
(worth) 2x
i hope you hear it in the words
or at least over the phone
i am just a broken bird
(i'm just broken)

cans [prod. cxrter x gualabeatz]

ｔｈａｗ　ｔｈｅ　ｇｕａｒｄ　ｔｈａｔ　ｓｈａｄｏｗｓ　ｍｅ

produced by dash vv
https://www.youtube.com/@dash8518

love y'all so much.
thank you for listening.
thank you for being here
more to come, in hopes

realistically wasting my time, and
don't claim you understand
you'll run out of road if you're way too gassed
we'll never last this
i wanna know myself 'fore i should take my life

the other side's so inviting

why you hanging 'round the wrong peers?
2D smiles but they're full of fear
i can see through the white lies
fuck a check, i ain't switch sides
matter of fact, think i'll own mine
call it wraps, called her 5 times
colon cramps, body's prolly fine
i been worse, and burnt more ties than mountains climbed
what the fuck

i hardly get any rest
when i lay me some ground
all my dreams make me sweat
well, honestly what'd i expect, i'm a tremor
who's born to make course with a crest
and since you've got room to assume,
i'll repaint the walls to a shade you once knew
but i'll say it once to conclude
it's only to falter youth

sending it down through my face to my gut
fireworks sound while i've waited enough
i ain't care much, i been down on my love shit
after effect of it damage and lunges
kicking and punching
wonder and covet
smoke in this oven i claim to be nothing
under the covers, i wake into sunder
and panic, then start to malfunction
these eyes are so indecisive
catching the sights that are so uninvited
well, anything but ultraviolet
going outside, my anxiety heightens
so i'll stay inside and be silent
minus the music and all of the crying
don't keep a snooze 'cause i'm up when the sky dim
yet prone to mute and respond autopilot

she told me that i'm smart
"i'm better than that?"
she told me i can start to feel something
she told me i could be something greater
then she left a hole inside my chest, like a crater

no one
to lend a hand
through the sawdust
in this foreign land
is this all that you want?
forever we run, even if we're not
indefinite rot
smoldered lungs while i talk

and no it ain't from the green
from birth i've been clean
but i kinda wanna be, to escape reality
no way this life was meant for me
never will i come to be fine with low expectancies
i'm fucking selfish, can't you see?
a frozen-hearted entity
thaw the guard that shadows me
too intolerant to speak
cut my lips and break my teeth
numb my limbs, but make it brief
i've got nowhere else to be
but miss the way it used to be
did you feel the same for me?

my eyes cry with the help of high life
can't you tell i repel with a fat lie
any sort of love will numb me;
numb enough to pass life
i sense two decisions
one's to splurge my thoughts and cast rhymes

it was 8 in the morning, i'm shipped like i'm cargo
heart in my chest beating out like a bongo
swipin' a scan of myself like a bar code
way past the date by some days, not alarmed though
rotten a bit, feelin' sick, sorta rank
'lil bit of soap, it could wash out the stains
i ain't been fuckin' with none of y'all lames
a couple of plays, now you thinkin' you great
this not a game, fuck a charade
pressin the keys until i feel okay
throughout the day
'till i collapse and wake up on my face
block out the sound with a video game
or something to drink
lemon and sugar remind me of fate
it's sorta sour but sweet by the grain
sweet by the grain, ay

she told me i was smart
"i'm better than that?"
she told me i can feel something
she told me i could be something greater
then she left a hole inside my chest, like a crater

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