[INTRO]
I packed too fast forgot my breath
Didn’t sleep just played pretend
Told Mum I’m fine told Aunt it’s nothing
But my chest ain’t fooled it keeps on crushing

[VERSE 1]
I drank my tea like that’d calm the noise
Mum saw right through my paper poise
She said love if he’s worth it he’ll stay
But I saw the worry behind her face

Auntie joked I’d find someone better
But my hands shook holding your sweater
I told them both I was brave strong fine
Then cried at the gate like you were mine

[PRE-CHORUS 2]
What if time makes your heart forget
What if silence starts to feel like rest
What if the space becomes a scar
And someone else takes up my part

[CHORUS 1]
Ooooh I’m too scared to leave you
Will you wait will you wait
Ooooh I’m too tired to be brave too
Will you wait will you wait
Ooooh the sky’s too wide from over here
Will you wait
Ooooh and my fear is loud my hands unclear

[VERSE 2]
I called you late said I missed the moon
You said I know it’s early here too
I said I’m scared you’ll drift or fade
That the absence might start to feel okay

You didn’t laugh you didn’t flinch
You let me ramble through the pinch
I said I dream of you with someone else
And wake up clawing at myself

[PRE-CHORUS 2]
You said I don’t vanish when you leave
You don’t disappear just cause you grieve
You’re not a ghost you’re not a flight
You’re mine we’ll be alright

⸻

[CHORUS 2]
Ooooh I’m too scared to leave you
But I’m learning how to need you
Your voice is calm across the sea
And somehow that sets me free

⸻

[BRIDGE]
You didn’t promise forever just now
And somehow that’s everything

You said go home I’ll be here
Love ain’t scared of the atmosphere

[FINAL CHORUS]
Ooooh I’m still scared to leave you
But you made the dark feel see-through
The miles might stretch and twist our days
But we’ll find each other anyway

Will You Wait

[INTRO]
la la la
la la la

Now I need you but you won’t take me back
Am I foolish or under attack
I don’t know

[CHORUS 1]
All this pain it’s
fucking up my brain
How was I supposed to know
you were driving me insane
All the blame you put on me
I can’t believe I didn’t see
why you wouldn’t leave me be

[VERSE 1]
Every time I closed my mouth
I buried a scream just to keep it sound
You said I was cold I was just scared
Tried to look tough when I should’ve cared

You laid your hurt on top of mine
And I called it love every time
We held hands with broken wrists
Now I’m choking on the what-if’s

[MINI-RIFF]
All this pain it’s fucking up my brain
How was I supposed to know
you were driving me insane

[VERSE 2]
Now I sleep with the light on low
Too scared of dreams that feel like home
I deleted your number but kept the thread
Guess I like rereading the things you never said

I talked big but I missed your hands
The way you looked like you’d understand
I played it cool the biggest lie
I’ve never been good at goodbye

[PRE-CHORUS]
Now I need you
My heart’s too far torn through
I can’t believe I’m sitting here
Wiping away these fucking tears

Dreading what I’ll be without you
I’ve closed it all even my heart too
How was I supposed to know
We weren’t putting on a fucking show

[CHORUS 2]
All this pain it’s fucking up my brain
How was I supposed to know
you were driving me insane

All the blame you put on me I
can’t believe I didn’t see
how much you were hurting me

All this rage it’s leaking through the cage and
All your words still echo through
in my empty stage

You called it love I called it war
You slammed the fucking door and I begged you for more

[BRIDGE]
I watched you fade while I stayed still
Thought silence meant strength it just meant kill
I wish I screamed I wish I broke
Instead I smiled and I let you go

[FINAL CHORUS]
Now I need you but it’s too late
I cut the line and sealed my fucking fate
We weren’t perfect we weren’t clean
But God we were something in-between

Bloodstream (Explicit)

[INTRO]
You’re in my breath
You’re in my skin
I said I’d stop
But here I am again

[SMALL CHORUS]
Touch me slow don’t say a thing
You know exactly what you bring
Heaven slips beneath my skin
You’re my sin and I let you in

[VERSE 1]
Met you with a warning sign
Didn’t care just crossed the line
Your kiss hit fast like burning glass
I never planned for it to last

You said I glow when I’m in pain
So I lit the match and took your name
A hit a thrill a second high
You’re the drug I keep denying I try

[CHORUS]
Ohhh no you’re my ecstasy
The one who’ll set me free
When you place your hand
On top of me

Go slow how the day has gone
Oh it won’t be long
Till you fade away

[VERSE 2]
You don’t ask you just appear
Wrapped around my breath and fear
Call it love or call it fate
I call it late night heaven bait

I said I’d stop I lied again
Caved beneath your taste and grin
You said you’re poison well that makes two
Now I’m high and wrecked on you

[CHORUS 2]
Ohhh no you’re my ecstasy
The one who’ll set me free
When you place your hand
On top of me

Go slow how the night moves on
Oh it won’t be long
Till I crash and shake
From your chemistry

[PRE-CHORUS]
I know you’re bad for me
But bad has never felt so sweet
And every time you pull away
I fiend for you like night needs grey

[FINAL CHORUS]
Ohhh no you’re my ecstasy
The ache inside of me
The one who shows me god
Then sets me free

Go slow like the fire we lit
You said breathe and I commit
But you fade too fast
And I feel you slip
From my bloodstream

[OUTRO]
You said it wasn’t love
You said it was just a phase
But I still taste you in my throat
Still crave you like I’m crazed

My Ecstasy

[INTRO]
Yeah he do all of that
Just for an hour with me
Can you believe it
This addiction to me

[VERSE 1]
I had a bad day
And dinner burned again
My phone won’t charge
And I screamed at my friends

Mum’s on one side
Aunt’s got her wine
They argue loud enough
To ruin my mind

But then you text
Hey what do you need
Said you’d travel the hour
Just to sit with me

Didn’t ask for much
Didn’t need a sign
You just showed up
And gave me time

All of that
For an hour of time

[VERSE 2]
You brought your love your touch your peace
You let me talk until I fell asleep
Woke me up when it was time to leave

I don’t want to set you free

All the energy you give just to spend it with me
I don’t really want to leave
When your arms feel like safety on repeat

[CHORUS]
Oh it made the night feel so much better
It could rain for days but I wouldn’t get wetter
Your voice cuts through like a favourite song
I forget that anything’s wrong
Just have your body close to mine
For such a short amount of time

[VERSE 3]
I don’t say it much but I notice you
All the things you think I miss
The way you moan the way you move
The way you lean your head when I’m pissed

You think I’m fire
But you bring the smoke
Calm my rage
Make my sharp edge choke

And all of that
For an hour of time

[BRIDGE]
You fix my day with no grand plan
No magic words just your hand
We don’t talk about forever much
But in these moments it feels enough

[FINAL CHORUS]
Oh it made the night feel so much better
It could storm like mad but I’d wear no sweater
You laid beside me like a prayer on repeat
Said nothing but made me feel complete
Can you believe you do all of that
For an hour of time

An Hour of Time

[INTRO]
Euphoria explodes from your touch
I can’t control this lust
But it was never just a phase
You carved yourself into my brain

[VERSE 1]
I want to push him to the side
And run into your arms tonight
I don’t care if someone’s with you now
I’d burn this house just to see you somehow
So I keep you locked in the back of my mind
Smile for the fam, say I’m doing fine

[PRE-CHORUS]
But in reality
I’m really not

[CHORUS 1]
You was the pain
Not the memory, not the time we lost
You was the flame
Burning steady underneath the frost
I tried to fix what I never could name
Now I know
You was the pain

[VERSE 2]
Only a year but I lusted you hard
We crossed pinkies like it’d stop the scars
I believed you’d hold that promise close
Close the door we swore we’d ghost
But we stayed friends, so I played fake
Told myself it was just a phase

[PRE-CHORUS]
But I couldn’t shake
That false impulse

[CHORUS 2]
You was the pain
Hiding out inside my happy place
You drove me insane
I see your face in every escape
Tried to fight what I thought was right
But every calm still leads to your name
You was the pain

[BRIDGE]
You told me go
I told you stay
We tore our love in shades of gray
I blamed the silence, I blamed the games
But it was always you
You was the pain

[FINAL CHORUS]
You was the pain
Not the ghost I thought I was chasing
You was the ache
In every night I spent replacing
You weren’t the storm
You were the stain
The truth I drowned
But still remained

You was the pain

You Was the Pain

[INTRO]
I wasn’t meant to want you this much
But my body don’t believe in rules
We touched like sin, like need, like war
And I still crave you more

[VERSE 1]
You pulled me close when time said no
Hands like fire, slow and low
We didn’t talk — just breathed the heat
Hearts sync fast when lust repeats

I swore this time I wouldn’t fall
But I let you press me to the wall
Every look was a loaded gun
And every kiss, a smoking tongue

[PRE-CHORUS]
We weren’t supposed to feel this deep
But your name’s the one I moan in sleep
You say “it’s wrong” and still you stay
’Cause sacred love don’t go away

[CHORUS 1]
Take me there, where the silence breaks
Where bodies scream the truth they fake
You touch me like you own my skin
Like I’m a home you buried sin in

Don’t stop now — I’m past the line
You’re in my throat, you blur my spine
We melt like wax with mouths aligned
And I collapse… right at my climax

[VERSE 2]
You said “just one more time” again
But we both knew how this would end
Back of the room, lights low and red
God ain’t here — just us instead

I wore your hoodie, nothing more
And left it ripped behind the door
You said I glow when I’m undone
So I unraveled just for fun

[PRE-CHORUS 2]
You never ask, you never beg
But I’d kneel for you on shattered legs
Call it sin or call it fate
But I still taste you when I ache

[CHORUS 2]
Take me there, where the silence breaks
Where bodies scream the truth they fake
You touch me like you own my skin
Like I’m a home you buried sin in

Don’t stop now — I’m past the line
You’re in my throat, you blur my spine
We melt like wax with mouths aligned
And I collapse… right at my climax

[BRIDGE]
We made love in borrowed time
In places built for silent crimes
You marked me up, I wore it proud
Bit my tongue to not scream loud

I gave you parts I never knew
Now they all belong to you

[FINAL CHORUS]
Take me there, where we burn to breathe
Where “I love you” hides beneath our need
You kiss me like a secret kept
I fall apart with each caress

Don’t stop now — I’m past the line
You’re in my blood, you bend my spine
No going back, no redefined
Just this collapse…
Just my climax

CLIMAX (Explicit)

[INTRO]
You called me pepper
Said I bite like spice
I called you cupcake
But that word don’t feel right
Now it’s stuck in my throat
Like a name I can’t fight

⸻

[VERSE 1]
You’d laugh and say I’m a goat
Always climbing on my pride
I’d call you pumpkin in the morning
And you’d try not to smile
We had a love that stung like citrus
But always left you high
Fought like fire in the kitchen
Then held each other all night

⸻

[PRE-CHORUS]
You wore my T-shirt like it meant peace
I kissed your neck like I needed release
We were sugar-laced chaos
But baby it was sweet

⸻

[CHORUS]
Spicy and sweet
We burned and we bloomed
Called it petty and neat
But we both knew the truth
You were honey on my flame
I was thunder in your bloom
I never tasted love like you
Spicy and sweet
That was me and you

⸻

[VERSE 2]
You made your tea too strong
I made my coffee black
You’d steal my hoodie every morning
Then never give it back
I used to dance when you were angry
You’d curse me out then laugh
We never needed perfect
We just needed what we had

⸻

[PRE-CHORUS]
And I still see you in those nicknames
In tattoos and bitter days
But I smile when I hear ‘pepper’
It still brings back your name

⸻

[CHORUS]
Spicy and sweet
We were midnight glue
Tore at each other
But stitched up too
You were sugar in my storm
I was reckless in your room
God I miss the mess of you
Spicy and sweet
That was me and you

⸻

[BRIDGE]
If I could whisper one last word
I’d call you cupcake like I used to
But I’d choke it back and bite my tongue
Some names ain’t safe to use
Still I wear my pepper proud
And think of the goat who loved you too

⸻

[FINAL CHORUS]
Spicy and sweet
Like chaos with a grin
We were soft inside our storms
And wild under skin
You were laughter in my pain
I was truth you never knew
We were messy, raw, and real
Spicy and sweet
That was me and you

Spicy & Sweet

[INTRO]
You told me the truth like it would fix us
But it cracked something I can’t glue back

[VERSE 1]
You gave me honesty like it was a gift
But all I heard was every girl you kissed
You said their names like ghosts in the room
Now they linger every time I touch you

[PRE-CHORUS]
You were trying to be good
I was trying to believe
But your past don’t just fade
It moves in with me

[CHORUS]
I’m not angry
I’m just tired
Of making love to your funeral pyres
Of holding you close
But feeling far
Still bleeding from invisible scars
You want my trust
But don’t see the cracks
Left by the weight
Of your disloyal past

[VERSE 2]
I play cool when her name shows up
Smile like it doesn’t mess me up
But inside I’m a storm in a summer dress
Kissing you like I’m second-best

[PRE-CHORUS]
And you say you’ve changed
That it’s all in my head
But that little voice
Ain’t ever dead

[CHORUS]
I’m not petty
I’m just bruised
From trying to believe you’d never choose
To break again what you swore to hold
When the story of us
Is already told
You want me strong
Like the girl from the past
But she’s drowning beneath
Your disloyal past

[BRIDGE]
You didn’t cheat on me
But you cheated the chance
To start us clean
To give me a dance
With someone brand new
Not his damn ghost
I’m kissing your lips
But I feel her the most

[FINAL CHORUS]
I’m not leaving
But I ain’t whole
You want forgiveness, but it’s taking its toll
I see your love
But I feel the crash
Of every echo
Of your disloyal past

Disloyal Past

prod me :D
ft. @xilohh & @mmxnth

this is literally like 8 months old ngl we never got to finishing it so i guess ill post it here <3

im not entirely happy with the mix but im not gonna work on this anymore, its so old ive changed my mixing style so much since them 😭

before falling in love ft. xiloh & mxnth

Nine Nuked

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