Did you grow up feeling you were too much, not enough, too nice, too cold, too sensitive, too shy, too annoying, too inquisitive or too ANYTHING? Basically, instead of being loved for your whole self, did you feel like you were simply tolerated? Maybe you wondered, throughout your life, if people even liked being around you because those too much/not enough beliefs were always with you. So, to move from tolerance to love, you worked hard to prove yourself worthy of someone else’s company. And did those people (intimate partners, friends, family members, etc.) treasure you for the wonderful human you are? Probably not. Why? Because you didn’t treasure you.

Self-love isn’t simply about spa visits, eating healthy, working out or treating yourself to a new outfit. It is attention, connection and awareness to yourself. And you cultivate it by slowing down, feeling your feelings and choosing what makes you happy. When you love yourself, you have compassion for who you are, what you are and why you are. And that is where true love with someone else begins… because love from another person won’t feel good unless you feel it for yourself first. In this week’s podcast I’ll share three questions to ask yourself to shift from external “give-it-to-me” love to true self-love. You deserve more, but to get it, you have to step up and show yourself some love.

WISDOM NUGGET (#wisdomnugget)
Self-love comes from all the in-between moments not the pinnacles!

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

#580 Journey of Attachment: 3 Steps To Loving Yourself; You're Not a Project

You need to know your EIN Number Online, for instance, to enlist for a permit to operate in another space or apply for a Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) in advance.

Rome wasn't built in a day, as is commonly said, and as I'm certain you can verify, nor was your business.

How To Search For EIN Number Online

You wish you could be calm, cool and collected. Other people seem to do it—they can pull off being mysterious while your facial expressions always give you away. You feel like the weird emotional one, trying to tame whatever is brewing inside while everyone else stays calmly in control. You’re afraid if anyone knew how you really felt, they would judge you. But following the rules of what other people deem as “acceptable” will leave you disconnected from yourself and your life.

If you want to be comfortable in your skin, you need to value your own truth and stop seeking outside approval. In this week’s episode I’ll show you how to pay attention to your insecurities, and identify which situations provoke them. From there you can practice showing up in those situations however you feel, and not expecting yourself to be different. Gauging how you’re supposed to act by watching the body language, words and actions of others is the opposite of authentic. Instead, take action from an internal desire for happiness and wellbeing. Over time your insecurities will fade and your confidence will grow!

WISDOM NUGGET (#wisdomnugget)
Valuing your truth makes it easier to find true connection. Letting go of that fear changes your life.

#592 Freedom from Attachment: Hiding How You Feel Among Judgmental People

Everyone talks about how to value yourself. So how do you do it when it matters? Explore the liberating journey as Tracy breaks down your barriers of expectations and needing validations. 

Are you ready to dig into your feelings, wrangle deep-seated beliefs, and learn self-importance that doesn't rely on others? Then listen in today. 

In this episode, you will be able to:
*Embrace fulfilling relationships (first with yourself).
*Breakthrough barriers to love and for growth.
*Attract and maintain healthy relationships.
*Elevating self-importance for personal growth


“You want to get to the point of feeling important because you breathe”
~ Tracy Crossley

#755: Are you important to the one who matters?

Learn More University - Education After the Bell Rings

Get practical insights and tips! For more real-world lessons like this, visit learnmoreuniversity.com and start mastering the skills you need to thrive in adulthood.

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LMU - Expressing Empathy: A Guide for Young Adults

In Pickle Rick: The Search for Validation, we follow the journey of Rick as a pickle, representing our own struggles with seeking approval and dealing with loneliness. This track blends sci-fi, existentialism, and introspective rap as Rick hides behind disguises, seeking affirmation from a world that often leaves him feeling empty. With unique references like schbeef and geefe, this track delivers a deep message wrapped in humor and pop culture. From woodman34x, this is more than a track—it’s a reflection of the human condition.

Lyrics:

Intro:
Yeah, Pickle Rick, let's go!

Verse 1:
I'ma tell you a story about a man named Rick
Seeking vali_da_tion, trying to get a pick
He turned himself into a pickle, said it was slick
But deep down, he was looking for a meaning ful click
Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere
Everybody's gonna die, come watch TV?
Rick's nihilistic thoughts, feeling empty and bare
Searching for affirmation, wanting someone to see

Chorus:
Pickle Rick, we're all like Pickle Rick
Hiding behind our disguises, feeling spiritually sick
But there's something that Rick never knew
Schbeef and geefe, a love that's true

Verse 2:
He said, "I'm a scientist, I don't need to prove"
But his pickle transformation, seeking the groove
"I turned myself into a pickle!" he'd boast
Wanting attention, but missing what mattered most
I don't do magic, Morty, I do science
One takes brains, the other takes dark eyeliner
Rick dismissing illusions, seeking reliance
But deep down, a longing for a connection finer

Verse 3:
In the darkness of his journey, he faced despair
Sewers and foes, challenges everywhere
But as he fought to survive, he began to see
That true fulfillment came from something beyond thee
"I'm Pickle Riiiiiiick!" he shouted with pride
But his loneliness couldn't be denied
The walls he built, the emotional divide
Quantum entanglement, a chance to be revived

Verse 4:
In this digital age, we're all like Pickle Rick
Seeking validation, but social media's a slick trick
Scrolling through feeds, chasing likes and views
But deep down, it's affirmation we're hoping to accrue
Addiction to screens, seeking validation online
Trading true connection for a digital shrine
We're all trapped in the pickle, seeking our worth
Using social media to validate our birth

Verse 5:
Now the story's complete, the message is clear
Pickle Rick and Meeseeks, reflections we hold dear
In their twisted tales, we find a common thread
A yearning for affirmation, a desire to be fed
But beyond the darkness, a glimmer of hope
In Christ's love and salvation, we find the scope
To break free from the chains, the search for validation
And embrace a purpose-filled, meaningful revelation

Bridge:
In the depths of our souls, transformation unfolds
Like a caterpillar, becoming more than what we're told
Renewing the mind, shedding the old shell
Embracing love and purpose, breaking the spell

Verse 6:
So don't schbeef my geefe, don't get caught in the trap
Seek validation beyond the shallow and the clap
Embrace the renewal, the transformation of the soul
Finding purpose and connection, making ourselves whole

Verse 7:
Pickle Rick's journey, a metaphor we can relate
Seeking validation, yet finding something greater, mate
Schbeef and geefe, the love that's always been there
Don't chase empty affirmation, find meaning beyond compare

Pickle Rick: The Search for Validation

When a relationship ends, people say they want “closure,” but what does that even mean? What specifically are they looking for? They THINK they emotionally let go, but they still hang on to the hope of some kind of resolution. Unfortunately there’s no such thing as closure, and the need for it comes from a state of attachment. No one owes you anything. And even if you do get what you feel you’re entitled to, it won’t truly make you feel better because what you’re looking for can’t come from another person. 

Those who seek closure are really after validation. They want to know the relationship was worthwhile. They want to be recognized for how wonderful they are, and for how much they gave. Often their emotions weren’t taken care of in the relationship, so they seek that after the breakup, thinking it will magically happen; like their ex will finally see the light. Closure doesn’t solve any of this, and the pursuit of validation doesn’t end until you give yourself what you’re looking for. Pay attention to your feelings. What do you really need? What are you asking of another person (in words or actions) that you don’t give to yourself? Instead of blaming your ex and needing something from him/her, feel those feelings of having let yourself down. Realize your anger is toward YOU, not them. Thinking someone owes you is a powerless position; you can’t force people to do anything. And if it’s closure you’re seeking, you will never get it from someone else because what you truly need can only come from yourself.

Journey of Attachment: Closure Is An Illusion

Do you look for validation from someone who doesn’t give it to you? Each time you do this it reinforces your deeper belief that you don’t matter; you’re not important; you don’t have value. Then what happens is you draw people to you who treat you like you’re the booby prize because it matches those feelings inside. It’s a pattern that manifests as people-pleasing, perfectionism, clinging, overstepping boundaries, working hard for validation and more. When you focus on the other person like this, you give them power over your emotional state. Staying in this “booby prize” situation gives your negative beliefs evidence that this is all you deserve, strengthening them so the pattern is harder to break.

If you are in a relationship with someone (either casual or serious) and you’re more concerned with what they think of you than how you actually feel, you are operating from the belief you have little or no value. It’s a familiar feeling because it already exists inside you, which is why you stay, even though it’s painful. Healthy relationships don’t operate this way. To move from booby prize to THE prize, you have to build your value… brick by brick. Shifting your focus away from someone you seek validation from can feel like moving an elephant, but you do it by consistently honoring yourself and speaking your truth. Understanding your negative beliefs and where they come from will help in making this shift and breaking the pattern. No one else can make you feel like the prize—you have to do that yourself.

Journey of Attachment: Why Am I Always The Booby Prize?

In this special series Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of when insecurities are triggered, asking for help and family relationships. Want to submit your question? Click here: bit.ly/2sQ4sJT and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9am PST.

If you would like to support the podcast, make sure you check out my Patreon page to see how you can do it. Plus, you get all kinds of cool rewards: https://www.patreon.com/tracycrossley

How to React When Your Insecurities are Triggered

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of feeling like you should be doing something else, fixing people, and looking for validation from others.

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

If you would like to support the podcast, make sure you check out my Patreon page to see how you can do it. Plus, you get all kinds of cool rewards: www.patreon.com/tracycrossley

I Constantly Feel Like I Should Be Doing Something Else...

A lot of us live in our head, disconnected from our feelings and intuition. This podcast touches on releasing insecure attachment, accepting your authentic self and getting “unstuck” by connecting to how you FEEL instead of how you THINK. I’ve been there, and discuss sensitive subjects using my own experiences with a lot of laughs and even more empathy… because we’re all flawed humans.

Popular tracks tagged #validation,