Lyrics:
Going out my mind
Neck deep in hypotheticals
Going out my mind
Neck deep in hypotheticals

And when I've really lost my mind
I wonder what's real
When I've really lost my sense of place and time
I really don't know what to feel
And it scares me what they think
I hate to admit
And thought I'm confident
I still wanna be accepted
And that ache never seems to leave
I still haven't found a place that I feel I can truly call my family

Oh, hypotheticals
Deep in hypotheticals

And sometimes I wonder so tell me if my thoughts are real
And sometimes I don't know if it's alright to feel what I feel
Yeah sometimes you just can't live it alone
I wanna heal the pain and find me a girl
But I'm still days away, decades away from where I wanna be
And I'm asking you:
Please accept me for me

Deep in hypotheticals

Hypotheticals

Lyrics:
Women scare the fuck out of me
Afraid to show vulnerability
Yet I bow down to any queen
Who has any depth to her beauty
And every time it hurts
Make me question my self-worth
Dear God, what am I to her
A useless sack of dirt

You make me wanna hate myself when you don't look my way
You make me wanna hate myself when you don't give me the time of day
Convinced that you want myself
And you run the other way
I should be running too
But here I stay

Desperate And Scared

Lyrics:
Well last night
A double dose
Morphed into a pill bottle uproot
And lately
I'm stagnant
Along with all the morning dew
And I hate to say
But it's a place
Where I don't feel pain
And lately
I've been needing
That type of thing

And in the morning I'll say

Dear God, I'm still alive
Dead God, back to this place that I despise
Dear God, I'm still alive
Dear God, back to this place that I despise

Dear God, I'm still alive
Dead God, back to this place that I despise
Dear God, I'm still alive
Dear God, back to this place that I despise

Pills And Disassociation

Lyrics:
Gotta refine
Fix it till it's right
Stayed up ungodly hours of the night

Still I'm feeling like I'm getting nowhere
Feeling like I'm getting nowhere
Feeling like I'm getting nowhere
Still I gotta refine until I make it right

Refine

Lyrics:
It comes in cycles

Feel at home when I'm pulling my leg
Feeling like I'm better than
Feeling alone and I'm begging you now
Like a rollercoaster never touching the ground 
Beneath me though an inflated ego
Letting it rob you when you hate yourself the most
Deeper than that we'll there's my spine
I take a look and I'm alive

Cycles

Lyrics:
Life is a room and you're locked in
You're on your own
Her love was a parasol on a wind
It carried me home
Everywhere I look all I see is sin
I wanna be pure 
Your smile was a parasol on a wind
I fly and I fall

Oooooaaah
I'm tired of seeing, I'm seeing
Oooooaaah
I'm tired of being, I'm tired of being
Oooooaaah
I just wanna sleep, I just wanna sleep
It's unavoidable 

I guess I ponder with myself
When I am alone
People want what they do not have 
And I do not own
Even though the walls are bloody white and most are pure
Baby they're covered in blackholes 
Yea I try so hard
It's unavoidable 

Oooooaaah
I'm tired of seeing, I'm seeing
Oooooaaah
I just wanna sleep, I just wanna sleep
Oooooaaah
I just wanna sleep, and honestly 
It's unavoidable

There's no way out without losing a piece of myself
And there's no way out without losing a piece of myself
And there's no way out without losing a piece of myself
And there's no way out without losing a piece of myself

Every Direction Has Razorblades

Lyrics:
Woke vessels of a hidden agenda yell from soap boxes
"Communism is the answer"
Yet turn a blind eye and won't acknowledge
Stalin killed more than Hitler
Absolute power corrupts absolutely
History's shown that's a fact
And thanks to a social pandemic
Our children now lust to have that

But it's all for the likes
It's all for the clout
You've grown drunk off the praise

Whole generation wanna grind it and get it
We all narcissistic, I'm just the first to admit it
Whole generation wanna grind it and get it
We all narcissistic, I'm just the first to admit it

Pain can rot to entitlement if not given a watchful eye
Pain can rot to entitlement if not given a watchful eye

But its all for the likes
It's all for the clout
You've grown drunk off the praise
Now you can't go without

Whole generation wanna grind it and get it
We all narcissistic, I'm just the first to admit it
Whole generation wanna grind it and get it
We all narcissistic, I'm just the first to admit it
Whole generation wanna grind it and get it
We all narcissistic, I'm just the first to admit it
Whole generation wanna grind it and get it
We all narcissistic, I'm just the first to admit it

Whole generation wanna grind it and get it
We all narcissistic, I'm just the first to admit it
Whole generation wanna grind it and get it
We all narcissistic, I'm just the first to admit it
Whole generation wanna grind it and get it
We all narcissistic, I'm just the first to admit it, yeah
Whole generation wanna grind it and get it
We're all fucking narcissists, I'm the first to admit it

Luciferian Age

Lyrics:
I hate myself and wanna die
I hate myself and don't know why

Living quite irresponsibility
Doing everything momma wouldn't expect of me
I'm a rollercoaster with a worn face
Without a place

Sometimes I feel like a God
But I know I'm not a God
And if you know what I'm quoting wanna give you an applause
God, girl I think you're the one
God, I think you're the one
God, I think I'm the one

I hate myself and wanna die
I hate myself and don't know why

Living quite irresponsibility
Doing everything momma wouldn't expect of me
I'm a rollercoaster with a worm face
Still have yet to find my place

Cause I'm always too much for him and her and them
Don't know why I am but I'm overloading
Sometimes I think I shouldn't try at all
Cause I'm always too much for him and her and them
Don't know why I am but I'm overloading
So sometimes I think I shouldn't try
Shouldn't try at all

Acrobatics

Lyrics:
Well
Sometimes I'm a fucking idiot
And I'm sorry if that's the impression you got of me
I swear I'm trying my hardest every day
To be the best person I can be
Sometimes it just becomes all too much
And I admit I can get a bit bitter at times
Never been like a physical person, or one to take out their anger physically at least on people
But words, I know how to use those like weapons
And honestly like I still tear myself apart for all the terrible things I've said to people when I'm angry
Like this stupid fucking logic, it's like the whole eye for an eye mentality
Where it's like maybe if I say some really like hurtful thing
They'll understand how they made me feel

Cleansing Vomit

In this episode of Older & Bolder, Debbie McCulloch speaks with Sharon Paskoff, the author of The Adjustable Lives of Women, a powerful blend of real-life experiences and fictional storytelling. Sharon’s book delves into profound topics such as PTSD, addiction, grief from the loss of a child, and the emotional challenges and rewards of caregiving for an aging parent. Her storytelling is as heartfelt as it is humorous, offering listeners a fresh perspective on resilience and life’s trials.

Sharon reflects on the interviews she conducted with women who have overcome immense challenges, sharing how their resilience deeply inspired her. She introduces the concept of “Grown Woman Knowledge,” emphasizing that failure and perseverance are essential for building character.

At 71, Sharon finds joy in the simple things—walking with friends, meaningful conversations, and cardio-funk dance classes. This episode will leave you inspired, entertained, and eager to reflect on your own life journey.

http://www.sharonpaskoff.com

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Recorded in Saskatoon & Rosetown, Saskatchewan
Show producer: Christina Cherneskey Communications
Theme music: ES_By the Neon Sign
Music for this episode: ES_The Middle (Instrumental Version) - Kylie Dailey, ES_Stay For A Minute (Instrumental Version) - Windshield, ES_The Concept Of You And I (Instrumental Version) - Lars Lowe, ES_Reaching the Sky - Epsilon Wave, ES_Me and You - Sunfish Grove
Voice over: Christina Cherneskey
Original artwork: Jackie Peterson
Artwork developed for digital media pages: Christina Cherneskey

Season 3 Ep 16: Sharon Paskoff, Humour, Hope & Healing

purposefully raw and rough around the edges as well as not confined to any genre, fatalflaw.'s experimental take on the process borders the likes of outsider music, all the while pushing the envelope on what rawness can be in terms of production. 

New tracks tagged #yxe