Oh yeah, it's about to get cheesy. 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Written By: Eric The Audible
Beat Produced By: Anywaywell
Mixed By: Nathan Provost

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CAST:
Nathan Provost - Chester Cheetah
Fightmarker - Chuck E. Cheese

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chester Cheetah:
Be honest with me, are we playing or not?
Chester vs this pest then I’ll be flaming him hot
Been redesigned so many times, where does your rattyness stop?
1993 or when you tried to lie ‘bout your stocks?

Check it - Chuck E. Cheese is Child’s play, I’ve got the speed to leave ‘em miles away
Cutting checks in hopes to get more cheddar but you ain’t no Chia Pet competitor - grown past your best days
Your charm’s as cheesy as my chips *crunch* checkmate

The show is over, for the showbiz owner
Sorry, kids hate your robot band of souless posers
And your only dish was made of gross leftovers?
You should Ask Pasqually if he’s got dough left over. 

I’m a cold dude, straight up murder your cast
My life’s a commercial - been securing the bags
I would hit you with another tight punchline
But I’ve run empty like my products in a lunchline

Chuck E. Cheese:
You must be huffing cheeto dust to think that type of heat confronts
Any member of the make believe band, man
So settle down and eat your puffs Imma leave you seething cause
This verse will knock off your whole brand, man

Yeah, I’ve got a lot of redesigns please take your pick:
Skater, rockstar, or showman, I still would have the most drip
I see your sneakers and chuckle ‘bout how you lay down all day
Take my advice, as I say, you should get active and play (hey)

Where a kid can be a kid, that’s the place I can vibe to 
Your snacklines are where a kid can get Type 2
What kinda market were you hopin’ to rope in?
The only players of your games go too hard on the tokin’

If this mascot wants to do favors for the masses and help
He could do like half his pointless flavors and rot on the shelf
I’m sure scared, cheetah, but not because you’ll eat me
Taking you in this battle was dangerously easy

Chester Cheetah:
If that verse was your best offer, you should stick to scaring toddlers
Or clenching for any hint of relevance by yelping poggers
With your talk about kids, you’d only ball as a skeeze
Tell your fat purple friend that he can munch all of deez

I’m a force to be reckoned with, take a stamp for protection when 
The hip kitty gets gritty, I make parents protest again
Let this be the testament, if you ever mess with me
Papa Chester will add your ass to my baked recipe


Chuck E. Cheese:
Since the 70s you’ve been rocking the same way
I like to shake the place up, get a changed pace
Life is just like hoops: stay in your dang lane
Cause when you drop the mic you lose - crane game

Bringing rhymes it’s pizza time, but I’ll never be getting topped
Cold bars hitting different like some dippin dots
Honestly I wish we’d stop and simply kick it and laugh
But then you gave yourself a ticket just to be put on blast

Central Rap Battles: Chester Cheetah vs. Chuck E. Cheese

Virtual Boy: Spidey Fam
Polybius: garbageGothic
Written by YLFEthan
Additional Help: AdamDRB, JustGamer, Sham, Psytube, Sculpture, HHH3
Beat, Mixing and Arrangement by GlitchDude
Cover Art by Zagranis
Art by Snakebite126, Valonide, LPturtles

Virtual Boy Verse 1:
This’ll be another death the US wants to keep hushed
When you're made the most fired up cabinet since D. Trump’s
Act all high and mighty, your trippy shit ain't impressive 
I’m relentless, give no quarter, cause really you've got no credit 
A fabricated “legend” wants to lose to the best?
Pal, I’ve got illusion of depth, you’ve got illusion of deaths  
Make children die quick and decide to blind victims, shit 
Jesus bruh no wonder you got no eyewitnesses 
I’m Private Eye, you're in my line of sight, I'm killing this
Can’t stay awake, a given when I fight hypnotists 
Your VR game wouldn't exist without me, it's quite fitting since
You're much like your own players, uhh under high influence

Polybius Verse 1:
You haven't learned from your shelf life and mindless hype 
Take a look, and you’ll find, that you died on sight
When I light a mic, I overwrite your slights and weak performing 
This win will be mine in the flash of an eye, seizure warning
Just as certain, you're collecting dust and worthless 
At least when I make heads thump and hurt, it's on fuckin purpose 
Tons of nerds wish to have your games restored yet you couldn't support them
Couldn't switch to Switch, maybe you should take a trip to Port-land
Cutting edge? You're not it, I'm hardly seeing the profit (agh)
Your sales borderline blew like Scott the Woz's 
I'm making players drop dead, you look like you robbed ROB's head 
Made Mario's Tennis, expected you only net losses

Virtual Boy Verse 2:
Someone made a big mistake, when skimming through your Wiki page 
I think they were full of shit saying you had some sick diss plays 
An empty arcade having no lines is where your fame lies 
Thought this square would have cyphers, just living up to your name, right?
He’s famous, to this day people try to locate him 
But up to bat with this heavy hitter? He comes up baseless 
Just a fad that'll fade with the other internet crazes 
I'm the new age bitch, you're not just arcade, you're archaic 

Polybius Verse 2:
You're plastic crap, in fact I'll discard your old parts 
When I leave you and your circuits cut like a canned Mario Kart
Your budget’s five bucks, made with hot glue and ribbons
So many price cuts, but I'm a bigger deal than Oculus Thrift is 
Your players’ hopes diminished and I stay lowkey, hidden yet
I don't need memory wipes to leave you unremembered, Boy
I'm with Loki chilling, what you make, is hokey, primitive
Pruned by Labo cardboard, now you're the one that's rendered Void

Virtual Boy vs Polybius - Discord Rap Battles

Boom Boom vs. Papyrus - Mario vs. Anything!


Snakebite126 As Papyrus 


RaccoonBroVA As Boom Boom


WAN As Kamek


Art by WAN


Mixed by Jort


Chiselled by Raisu Battle


Written by King Ducky


Research assistance from King Wallace & We Think company

Cover Art by Danger


Beat prod. Anywaywell & Glitchdude


Papyrus:

I'm known as the great Papyrus, not afraid to get straight to violence !!! 

Skeletons don't have brains inside us, yet you're the one who's insane and mindless !!!

Those limbs won't stay, they'll fly off! The way that you’re swaying exciting your arms when you charge,

Dizzily maiming and fighting with walls, makes sense that he's not invited to Mario Kart !!!


You're a disgrace of a brute, you grab your tongue have it taped to my shoe

This headache should be used to the taste of a boot! (Nyhehehehehee!)

This inane goof is way overused, devs are too lazy to make something new

So they stay with the same gameplay loop, and gamers stray away by playing a flute !!!


Because of this awesomest brawn that I got Undyne knows I've a shot at the Royal Guard !!! 

But my chances will not top all of the stomps you call “plots” that been foiled are

So better get Kamek for backup his magic will hand you the chance of 

Not napping in battle when you get all tired out madly attempting to land an attack on !!!


Boom Boom:

As those doors crashed open and ya began rattling off dad jokes

I can now understand why in Smash-Bros, only Sans shows

Ya stand so tall yet ya trapped in that fat jokes shadow

Must be tampering with ya eyes, you can't see past it like a lamp post!


And those puzzles put me to rest n’ yet I still get something from them lesser quests

If I put my foot up at your head ya eyes should be xs when I step on em! 

His schemes are literally a walk in the park, all would know that id drop him easy

Sans and you must be the rotting-up corpses of Wario and Waluigi! 


IIIIM BOOM BOOM BOOM B-BOOM B-BOOM BOOM Like how ya traps blow up in ya face!

THE HUGE NUKE OF THE KOOPA TROOP Meanwhiiiiile ya got nothing to say!

Skinny bones ain't no meaty opponent one shitty throw could leave him beat and broken

The utmost weakest joke in Snowdin holding pity votes as a means of coping!


Papyrus:

Pissed off? I would be too if I only exist cuz of a pit stop

Which rots at the center of worlds: This mid boss is a mid boss (Nyeh-heh-heh!)

Now comes my secret move which defeats a goon in 3 in tune hits

It would leave you confused and seeing stars but it seems you beat me to it !!! 


WHAT, These stupid dogs have ruined it all, including both you and this new sup one

Whos useless boss has been used so much, won't needa beat ya to know you fell off !!!

Your putrid plot is moving left and right, at best can fly, SANS, THE PESTICIDE !!!

He spent his life endlessly obsessed with guys who tend to best his efforts every time !!!  


Kamek:

Once upon a time a boneless sidekick had his hopes to fight and

Be Royal guard but was regarded as too barebones and kind

He thought humankind as slow n spineless cuz they had chosen violence 

But then Frisk came along…


Boom Boom:

Could say that they left ya open minded! (Kamek: OHHHHH!!!)


Gonna be honest ready? it's easy to know what pastas from your awful recipe

If one chomp and there's vomit on his top already then it's gotta be Paps spaghetti!

Ya blue hearts been botchin’ any shot it gets yet he still pretends to be all optimistic

So I'd call it fittin that you're the skeleton here your love lifes nonexistent!

Boom Boom vs. Papyrus - Mario vs. Anything!

Welcome back to another rap battle! This battle pits school idol from Love Live, Nico Yazawa, against the man behind the slaughter, William Afton! Who will win? That's for you to decide!

(0:14) Nico:
Hello? Hello? Is this the night guard that I’m fighting?
The one who thinks the worst thing’s children and people flashing their lights and
Wanna save themselves from dying? Well then sir, I’m still not buying
You Nico Nico Niii-

(0:25) Afton:
-Need to put that verse on pure silence.
Greetings there miss, name’s Afton. Best not tread where I’m setting trends.
Now I’d say this schoolgirl should drop the pen, cause I’ll make it clear that we’re not friends.
What a goner, have you all lost to this monster
The man behind the slaughter, idol’s going idle knowing I spit hotter

(0:43) Nico:
When it comes to parenting and rapping, you sure suck at handling Mikes
If that was a taste of your raps, then I’m barely scarred from Fazbear’s Frights.
I’d say your games are pretty hit-or-miss, from the cheap jumpscares to your failing plans; 
And I thought I was supposed to be the family man, but what the hell’s up with your family, man?
I can’t be sittin’, relaxin’, (huh?) PG was gaining some traction, (yep.)
Then Michael came in attacking his dad’s actions so this hack’s wack act could just get a reaction
Henson’s attraction’s’ attractin’ no one, I’ve seen more liveliness out of your puppets
Purple Guy’s losing green so best make like your family restaurants and finally shut it

(1:12) Afton:
Comparing your father and I, there’s something I should mention;
I ascended through the ranks, the only thing he did was ascended.

(1:19) Nico:
You used to be all scary and your calls’s what you were known by,
But they hung up your story, so yeah, you’re not that guy, Phone Guy.

(1:26) Afton:
Seems you need to merge your mind, your vanity won’t get me fooled
Falling behind in this rap, it won’t take much to leave you schooled.
This child wants to break me, how? I won’t let you take me down.

(1:37) Nico:
Well, it looks to me that your machines aren’t the only things that’re breaking down!

(1:40) (Breakdown where Afton turns into Springtrap)

(1:47) Springtrap:
It seems that I’ve returned to breathe some life into this one track.
So now I’ll show this student how to properly come back
You got acclaim from your music by versing all your dumb raps
But your creators saw what was built and turned it into scrap! (Agh!)
The upperclassmen got a hold of your group, and you tried to lead it with a bright future.
Yet with how I’ve left this child crying, I guess my restaurants would suit you.
And your laughable lyrics don’t compare to the bots I’ve been gutted by
So I don’t need to turn off any cameras to have your battery running dry.

(2:16) Nico:
For the record, this guy surrendered to kids and then got his body severed
‘Cause he couldn’t walk around a suit better than your Mikey with Ennard
Lilliard makes Pratt seem peak cinema; how ‘bout I fill in?
Since I’m not dying to this robot because I’m not your children!
So, looking at your animatronics, they’re far from flooring,
When what’s boring is the story that’s present in your recordings
Yet it’s funny Henry did that job much better than you could
But it’s clear that flames have once again shut Afton down for good…

Azia as Nico Yazawa
Cranice as William Afton

William Afton vs Nico Yazawa

William Afton vs Nico Yazawa - MC Fawful Rap Battles

JustGamer as The Riddler

TaigaTonic as The Hijacker

Beat by: ENNWAY
Mixed by: SIR Rap Battles
Written by: TaigaTonic
Additional Writing by: ENNWAY and ItsNugget
Thumbnail by: M!CAH
Special Thanks: Dilly!, Matt Raichous, SIR Rap Battles, and Rabi

The Riddler:
What do you get when you cross the top mind in Gotham
With a basement goblin who can’t face a problem
A broken dope fighting the woke for Coke
Who’s such a token Joker, that even it would shock him

Tried spreading a message but he couldn't confront it
Because no one seemed to care about his Dr. Whodunit 
And for with scheming through screens we’re one in the same,
But the button to change his channel is how they’re Catching my Waves

While I was running the streets of Gotham
He was running a stream that people weren't even watching
And I'm leaving marks without any question
He stooped in the news 'cuz he knew they'd forget him

But what I wonder’s on why it’s so odd to see
Him wear the face of anti-corp hiding with hypocrisy
So Riddle me this! If you're seeking to help
What's the point of the mask when you’re deceiving yourself

Max Headroom Highjacker:
Oh jesus…
You're a freaking nerd that's my conclusion
Just leave (groans) 
You've ranted on longer than my entire intrusion

I’m a Rap God and that verse was dog shit
But I guess it makes sense when you’re all Logic
Shined the spotlight on yourself cause you were one they weren’t watching
When you tried to topple the tops of Gotham, but botched it

You look down on the people cause you see them as dimwits
If you think you have a great mind, then you’re falling to your sickness
Should see a hospital if you're wanting answers
Zodiac ain’t the first time you’ve crossed paths with cancer

Achieved mass reception then had no repercussions
While your intellect only had you riddled with punches
Had feelings for your partner but it ended in a mess
Because your love is fading and I still see your X

The Riddler:
May have escaped the FBI’s attempts to follow you
But through the eyes of a mask you’ll find it's a hollow view
So go on and answer! I know you’re rather quick witted
Why would they care when you barely even did shit?

Though, congrats! You got away with it, i guess, so well played 
But sorry teach, you did that for dry video essays 
To find the freak on the screen not in the right headspace 
Who thought his cheeks were a scene good enough to collect fame

Now seen as a mockery so your glove is left dirty
Just a troll left alone talking more Bull than Swirsky
So when the World Greatest News comes and forget you just see it
Be considered just another time you’ve been left beaten

Max Headroom Highjacker:
(Hush!) You still got Questions to solve there rookie
Kidnapped Catwoman and still got no pussy
And claim my masterpiece was sad to see while you turn tots to tragedies
You need a Shining Knight in armour just to go back to sleep

Stopped breaking cases when he got a mace to the face 
And tried to become a Private Eye, but it was made into waste
Now whenever you’re outsmarted you're stuck in denial
Screaming “HOW’D YOU SOLVE MY GOOGLEABLE TRIAL”

So how about a change of pace and you answer my question
Who’s the man challenging his mind with more than depression
Creating new iterations to make his relevance stronger
That beats his story more to death than what he did his daughter

The Riddler vs The Max Headroom Incident - Rap Battle! Ft. JustGamer

Lexi M. as King Boo & Gengar

Written by 3ple, SIR Rap Battles & Jacobrl99
Additional writing help by AJ & keanetan
Mixed & Arranged by SIR Rap Battles
Art by 3ple
Beat by DiamondStyle
Special thanks to Jacobrl99, Chao, RaccoonBroVA, LEECHY! & Shwabadi

Gengar (0:11):
What wanders in this time of night?
Who wishes for a shiver down their spine tonight?
To break minds? Your Boos can’t provide the frights
The only thing they that can break is a line of sight

Take the crown off that dome! Give it to this ghost type
Not the freak who freezes up at the flash of a strobe light
But with those bags below your eyes, no wonder you would hate it
You should sleep, like everyone who bought your games and played it! (HAHAHA)

Keep your haunted mansions (argh), I can haunt dimensions (argh)
Hiding in shadows and taking minds for my possession
It ain’t hard to sway them to believe you’ll never beat me
Your downfall’s to a vacuum, so this battle is a clean sweep

King Boo (0:46):
It’s a full moon, (huahhuah) oh it’s getting dark (yeah)
Come, step in my mansion, you can rest your heart (huahhuah)
Go and check the art, they know that you’re lookin’
Hey, you better get a room or else I’ll make you BOOK IT! (HUAHAUHAHUAH) 

Break the limbs of this ghost, that’s how I’m casting a shadow
Leave you stuck in a door loop, have you trapped in a castle
I get the big bucks, slot machine, cash in the gamble
You’d only size up if you Gigantamax’d in this battle (huahuahuah)

Crown on. Dark Moon; zapped to a shower!
Check it, it’s decked with more stones than Lavender Tower
With the faction you founded, I couldn’t even call you freaks creepy
When you’re reppin’ a baby squad with the name Team Meanies

Gengar:
Now a battle of spirits? Yeah, I’ll go a round or two
Take out your crew of 50, this licker’s gonna down some Boos
Recycling your plan to beat Luigi in a doomed arc?
Man, your head’s about as vacant as your rooms are

And when it comes to fighting him, you’d bet your fucking life on that
Fuck a ouija board, your ghosts would cower from some eye contact
Sold at a garage sale, that’s quite fitting for you
When you’ve spent your entire franchise being given the boot! 

King Boo:
To even get you, trainers gotta send you to a foreign place
Forget a portrait, you are a poor trade
A spectral army bows to me, you couldn’t get a crowd cheering
So I’ll punch your teeth in and replace you - that’s a crown filling

You pale like your shiny to this master of death
While I captured a red plumber, you got captured by Red
You’ll be abandoned again once I trap you in my painting 
Like your company with crunch culture, YOU’LL NEVER ESCAPE IT (HUAH UAHUA)

Gengar vs King Boo. SIR Rap Battles (ft. Lexi M.)

Main Cast:
‪TheToppo as This Man (Audio)
‪Powerofdan‬ as This Man (Video)

‪Freshy Kanal‬ as The Smiling Man (Audio)
TaigaTonic as The Smiling Man (Video)

Beat by: Freshy Kanal
Mixed by: Freshy Kanal
Written by: Freshy Kanal, TaigaTonic, Powerofdan, and TheToppo
Thumbnail by: Powerofdan


This Man:
I’m a cryptid shipped across the globe, they send my pics in envelopes
I got you shiverin down your toes, let’s see the chicken cross the road
You’re just a little tale that will never amount to stardom
Smiling at the moon like you got a past in Arkham

People look at me and I leave their minds boggled
People look at you and think you're at the bottom of a bottle
Not a figment of imagination, so they glance harder
But I’m sure they will find me before you’d ever find a dance partner

The Smiling Man:
Hello there…This man should have stayed in bed
But if you wanna tango, I’ll be sure to break a leg

I’m patiently waiting for a stranger to wander late
Hop scotch on my pavement and I turn the chalk to body shapes
You’re playing awful games with people in a trauma state
By sloppily attaching your face with a constant copy paste

A hoax in cinema and a hoax in all of folklore
All your films went south, no wonder you preach to Go North
Forced yourself on every Wanted poster with a dead smile
When you're in my domain, then you’ll really be an X file

Busted out the cage, now the posterboy is targeted
Since the concrete jungle went bananas for guerilla marketing
Maybe those articles should follow news for next time
So push those eyebrows to your hair if you want better headlines

This Man:
You’ll lose sleep over me until your eyes are scuffed
A state of mind around the world, you can’t leave Iowa
I’ll chase you where the demons watch until you flee the block
I send folks to the therapist, but you look like you need a doc

Got no lover so now you go stalk the whole town
How’re you quick on your feet but still can’t get a hoedown
You make em leave the neighbourhood, we’re hardly equal
And your busking couldn’t make a buck, is that why you charge at people?

I give them their worst nights, you’re stuck on the curbside
I got sketched a million times, you’re sketchy on first sight
You dawn a daunting smile so you can mask all the screams
And strut the streets at night because this man is in your dreams

The Smiling Man:
You played a twisted game with unknowing contenders 
But your real life sightings aren’t much but REM-embers
Cops investigated your case across the country
And the unanimous conclusion was... that you’re ugly

Your face is in our heads yet no one knows who you are
Memories of this dream have been fading away since the start
Yet it pales in the moonlight, now there’s none left to save
You can dance with the devil while I waltz on your grave

The Smiling Man Vs Ever Dream This Man

RaccoonBroVA as Homelander
Grasman as Patrick Bateman
written by Grasman
mixed by Jort
beat prod. by Dansonn 

Announcer:
rrrrRAP BATTLE!
PATRICK BATEMAN
VERSUS!
THE HOMELANDER!

Patrick Bateman:
They’ve put me up against the biggest loser at Vought 
Who kills anyone who wrongs him, except for his opps
Apparently he’s worshiped as the number one supe 
But he’s a fraud, oh my god, look at that padded suit. 

You like Hughie Campbell and The Boys? Imma guess not 
Cause’ they played you like your toys and got you messed up 
Got mixed in with the Butchers and now all of your threats fail 
Indestructible, but your kryptonite is some black mail?

How could Mr. “Super-Trump” be threatening to anyone 
When every single episode your team of Seven is down by one
Anyone you've ever trusted ends up dead
And Please, John, cool it with the anti-semetic girlfriend 

You were drugged as fetus, now you're high on power
Being poured out of a test tube, was your baby shower
Is reading your comics something you're meant to enjoy? 
But man, you way too many issues, Sigma Freud

Homelander:
How exactly is this fair, I mean, I am a god on earth 
Yet a bunch of mud people get to tell me what I’m worth 
Stand down, bud, you’re not even cut out to be a super villain 
When a little girl went ahead and bashed your brains in 

I’m The Homelander, a beacon of hope and justice 
Born to perfection like marble, yet take a look who I’m stuck with 
You’re like Tom  Cruise but more dead eyed and misogynistic 
I mean I’ve even seen the deep be more respectful to women

The Deep:  (Bro..!)

I walk into a room and people bend the knee to worship me 
You walk into a room and everyone thinks you’re the biggest creep
My fans know that I bring the heat, your fantasies won’t get you far 
Haven’t seen a grown man this delusional since Black Noir 

Man you got me thinking, how are you not arrested? (how?)
You’re just like fire cracker, being rode by prepubescents
Bash your head in like Paul, although that really didn't happen
You confessed to it all, yet people still don't take you serious

Patrick Bateman:
You're the biggest mistake that Voughts ever come up with
Every father in your life says you’re a disappointment
It’s gotten to the point where your own son wants you cut 
Spare the world from your yaps and bite your tongue off like Stormfront

You’re handling riots worse than you’re handling Ryan 
I’m not pumped up with V, yet I’m still leaving em’ dying 
And quit  your crying and whining, if people saw behind closed doors
They'd drop this stupid bastard just like Chelsea on the floor

Homelander:
I’m tired of these disses, and I’m sick of this antagonizing
I’m tired of this disrespect, I’m tired of apologizing 
Don't you dare compare me to this insecure incel
Cause I’m stronger, I’m smarter, I’m better! I am better!

Put more newspapers on the ground when you’re battling me 
Cause you’ll be left with no face for your morning routine 
I’ll tear you apart, and leave this stock broker broken
So maybe when you reach hell you’ll finally fit in

Patrick Bateman vs. Homelander - RAP BATTLE! (2024)

The Man In The Suit : Rosenthal
Darkhold IronMan : Matt Raichous

Written by Kamren
Beat Prod : Soulker
Mixed by Kamren

Tony :
Playboy, philanthropist, Tony Stark
Versus an actor so into method acting, he fused in the suit just to play the part?
Now this is what I expected : Springtrap for Kaijus, but what have I found?
Analog horror trying to fit in with a catalog but like King Kong, it's drowned out
When you went viral, you were made on mobile. My suit was vital and expanded global
Take your breath away and you’ll only spit red. Do it all again, sever your three heads
You’re no God, not even close to Zilla. Just trial mode filling in for Suitimation
Unknowingly made a wild animal and I’ll put him down ; Another bombing to your nation

Goji :
American, to both sides of this war, you are a traitor
From your work to your relationship with Pepper, your life’s full of failures
There’s no Tale of Suspense, you’re sick in the head. That metals’ only proving detrimental
For a businessman, the irony lies in your suits, they’re all just free rentals
You only have a Darkhold on the booze you’re chuggin
One bite in your suit and you’re reduced to nothing
You’re right about one thing ; No God, just me
So self-important, your name is the title of your company
Goji’s on a rampage, Tony’s drinking champagne.
Catch me in the fast lane, I’ll gnaw off your damn face
Toho couldn’t keep me caged, you’re your own damn virus
Now I’m serving you like Jarvis

Tony :
It's gotta be a tight leash if you came back to the studio
Surprised you could even talk, growling is all you seem to know
If being anti-American is all the pain you’re feeling
You’ll end up like Mothra, hung up.. from the ceiling
Let's talk about the messages so troped and tired
Went from reciting Oppenheimer to “there's opps inside em”
Yeah, just a few bugs you seem really proud about
It's getting so bad, you're actually spilling your guts out
I’m leaving my Mark, armors ready to deploy
You just have plot armor when your head gets destroyed
And why would you want that? For the benefit of the Japanese?
Please, like me, you couldn't help but leave out the leaks!
Thanks to VibingLeaf, you’ve got a 3D model, let's hope your character is too
Cuz I’d hate to see you go out just like your plushies : The Man In The Lawsuits

Goji :
You found a cure for your disease and wanted to spread it to your girl next?
This is not a friendly gesture, Tony. This is sexual harassment
With you, I’ve had it. Maybe you should've had Wanda spell out those words
If your heart was still beating, you’d lead it to the most tragic future of the earth
That's your only purpose, and despite it, you resist the inevitable
As a one off comic in the span of several, you're entirely forgettable
But there's one thing I’ll remember you for, as your mobile coffin tombs in
All this time, you were never a God, and neither were you human

Darkhold IronMan vs The Man in The Suit - Rap Battle! (ft. Matt Raichous & Rosenthal)

ORIGINALLY UPLOADED ON 10/31/2023

LYRICS

Eyeless Jack:
Why’d you think I’d be scared by this mime shit?
You should’ve thought twice before steppin’ up to Eyeless
But now I’m ‘boutta write shit to leave your body lifeless
Lookin’ like the Babadook in a mid-life crisis
I already know all you’re gonna spit is hot trash
Rippin’ Stephen King’s pages and throwin’ that up on Wattpad
I don’t got any eyes for you to stick your needles in
I get adrenaline pumping just from a pic of me leanin’ in
It’s Eyeless Jack, you know when I attack
I’m spreading red on your color palette of white and black
So don’t try fighting back, ‘cuz I ain’t fuckin’ frightened, Jack
I drop the heat like hot tar when I go up to light a track
Tried to make a kid happy, the attic got locked
It ate away at your loneliness like Jack In The Box
Then you were so touch-starved, took the drunkie and split him
This shit is child’s play like taking candy from your victims

Laughing Jack:
What a surprise... well, hi, Jackie
You wanna fight, Jackie? Then I’ll oblige, Jackie
But just try attacking, get me with that knife slash and
They’ll never find that body of yours, just like your eyes, Jackie!
I’m your imaginary friend
‘Cause the remnants of your mind show no sanity is left
I’m the sound inside your head, this clown has no weakness
To this Blue Man Group sleep paralysis demon!
How’d you get so iconic there, buster?
Could it be because of Mr CreepyPasta, I wonder
Or maybe your blank slate of a character’s what they wanna see
A cookie-cutter, carbon copy, Jeff the Killer wannabe
That cult did you good, bud, you cut out all your fake friends
Built yourself a name along killer teens with the same trends
But I’ll make this painless, a quick death for this blind freak
You can treat this battle like a liver, fucking bite me

Eyeless Jack:
Nice go, monochrome, but I’m leavin’ ya folded now
I’m glad I don’t got any eyes ‘cuz you’d probably poke ‘em out
Like look at that thing, that nose is gigantic
That party hat schnoz’s the only thing causing panic
Stuck in isolation after Isaac’s leave
You put an “I” in creepypasta – ICP
So can it with the snuff shit, ‘cause I can’t even pick between
You or your creator on which one of you’s the biggest creep

Laughing Jack:
Think your shots could be lethal?
This worm couldn’t stomp out a beetle
Make like your brother, leave while you can
Or get squashed like a spider, POP GOES THE WEASEL
I’ve heard you’re surgical with cuts, here’s a personal murder, bud
Tear out organs, internals, guts ‘til all you do is gurgle blood
Fill your body with insects and after it goes silent, black
This smile’s the only thing that you’ll remember, Eyeless Jack

CREDITS

Spadical as Eyeless Jack

Luke Reardon as Laughing Jack

Written by Rabi and Fightmarker
Additional writing help from Snakebite126
Beat prod. by Insanebeatz
Mixed and mastered by Freshy Kanal
Cover art by HauntedCicadaSongs

Eyeless Jack vs. Laughing Jack - Rap Battle

When browsing the channels to surf, you may just come across something you were never meant to find. Today, two mysterious channel surfers duke it out in a rap battle. The illusive online creepypasta, Candle Cove, against the bizarre hacker behind The Max Headroom Incident.

SnakeBite126 as Pirate Percy.
www.youtube.com/channel/UCjK5...

Kae as Janice.
www.youtube.com/channel/UCAuz...

twitter.com/bakamatsuva?s=09
FyxFynn as The Skintaker.

www.youtube.com/channel/UCd8b...
mobile.twitter.com/FynFyx

Stark Media as Horace Horrible and "Max Headroom's" video.
www.youtube.com/channel/UCfUL...
@stark-media

MetaMachine as "Max Headroom's" voice.
www.youtube.com/channel/UCJfd...
@user-961171130

Kamren the Person as the offscreen observer's voice.
www.youtube.com/channel/UCnel...
@kamren-the-rea...

Fightmarker as the offscreen observer's video.
www.youtube.com/channel/UClNJ...
@stopmotionrapb...

Written by GamingPlush64, B O R K, and Zfr_
www.youtube.com/channel/UCEzn...
www.twitch.tv/imzfr

Mixing and Mastering done by Freshy Kanal.
www.youtube.com/channel/UCNLj...

3d Laughingstock model by Hans Michael Grimm.
itsfairlygrimm@gmail.com

Beat by Audio Network

Cover art by Astro.
www.youtube.com/channel/UCz42...
@paigekillsnazis

Lyrics:

“Max Headroom”
That does it! I’m tired of the lack of words
So I’ve hijacked this nerd; Happy Appy kin is getting more than candle burns
When I go in with flows swift
I’ll spit a firewall to stop their spam returns

Candle Cove
Seems to me an opponent has boarded on the airwaves
Percy, I’m worried! No need to be scared, they
Only show static and darkness from their display
So I’ll let my diss play - A shantie that’ll spit flames!

“Max Headroom”
[Moan] They’re coming to get me!
Cause their love is fading and their candle is dimming
So they’re lashing out at prime time hijacking legacies!
But your lines could never pack a bite; even if you were made of teeth!

Candle Cove
Once again, your first prank flops
I’m cutting you off like The Horror of Fang Rock
With our runtime this one time hack should be impressed
Our story is a treasure - And I still see the X!
We’re similar - Both broadcasts show static and screaming,
but the flaw with the matchup is we mean to
You’re just noisy nonsense in rap and the feed so
We will swat a fraud - your second live beat down!
I’ve ventured the most dastardly caves
You’re mocking audiences for catching the wave?
I mean, what do you have to gain?
Just an advanced troll so defensive he won’t announce his face

“Max Headroom”
It’s not the first time a Sci-Fi’s been wiped
By my design, and I didn’t have to go inside
Ooooh, my piles described these intrusions as losers
So turn yourself in, Captain Midnight!
[Nervous giggles] Oh, Jesus!
Your Channel Zero premiere sucked!
Your show is bare bones, while I’m the god of rap
“Anyone remember this kid’s show?” No-body asked!

Candle Cove
Well it seems we’re beat when screaming for an episode
Who’d have thunk a pirate crew would have the wetter flow? I think he wants a better foe!
It’s Horrible Horace, I’ll keelhaul your corpses
When I board the vessel you bet you’ll be torn up
And muted like your first show stop
I’m spitting sea salt, you’re throwing soda
I’ll traverse the high seas to find yee over briny depths
And then remove your head and grind ye flesh

“Max Headroom”
Hey, I didn’t wanna pay you puppets a visit.
The news was already taken over by Vrillon and liberals
So I chose the second best thing to send out my message
And it happened to be the Cartoon Network lost episode section!
So listen Flapjack, your wack rap is over
Time to move on from the Cove, like your owner!
I’m just happy I got the chance to roast nerds
I’m pulling the plug and ending this on my own terms!

The Smiling Man Vs Ever Dream This Man

TaigaTonic

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