A Little Lost (Arthur Russell Cover)

First demo of Retainer.  A song about a man who struggles to keep his madness in check.  Take a listen

Retainer

Talk About

A song about every musician's best friend and worst enemy: the metronome.

Everything done by Kevin Crouch.

Lyrics:

fight flee fuck 
it's the same
fuck metronomes
rhythm beat groove
it's the same
fuck metronomes
work read think
it's the same
fuck metronomes
clock stopwatch
it's the same
fuck metronomes

pull apart the bars
and get the fuck out
get across the line
you're nothing at all
never count the yards
they drag your feet down
you make your own damn time
but still you need me

Kevin Crouch - Fuck Metronomes

so danco samba <3 (prod. tom)

it's 2019! did u guys know i still even make music. but this isn't it. not my song. but it's mine to sing! --remember when joanna newsom decided to never further explain herself after fans were upset that she revealed that sadie was about the death of her childhood dog -- i was compared to joanna newsom by one too many male reviewers!!! and just non professional dudes!!!! sometimes hitting on me sometimes just bein dudes!!! after that last album, and it put me off making my own music for a second! questions of genre! (*english professor voice*: "did you know GENRE and GENDER share the same root!!??! wild!!??!! my next article!!??!! queering it!!??!!"). and in rome the summer after i had a crisis on a hill looking at monuments and then in berlin connected to the theory of club music for the first time in a tangible way (the struggle of being uncomfortable in one's body is to intellectualize and not physicalize or underestimate the powerful ability of the physical feeling to transcend or connect. that is; music becomes ephemeral and you forget about how sound is made out of waves that pass into and through you and that interact with your cells. not just your brain. at the franklin institute as a child i plugged my ears and pressed my jaw on a piece of plastic through which i heard music via the vibrations of the jawbone; the same as snakes. your bones move. there's two legs and so we move to the beat of two. your heart beats to a pattern, and it slows and hastens and roils like a landscape. 
i'm having a weird time! isn't it so weird and hard to exist in the world right now? yesterday i read the unveiled documents in the massachusetts v. sackler case, and I cried for quite a long time. and i thought about rainy days when i went to the met and sat in the temple of dendur area and it was peaceful and a refuge and joy. and the art is stolen and the wing is made on the money of dead bodies and lies and pain, and they got away with it, and even though we know now in the sense that the destruction has taken place they got away with it. and it seems like they always do. which means that being upset by the state of the world is the correct response, not one of imbalance or negativity: it's all bleak here. what do you think? what should we do? carly rae jepsen seems to know about joy; i guess this was the happiest version i could do, and it's putting a damper on hers, obviously... I'm not sure. what do you think? what should we do? xoxo

boyprobs.mp3.arg.jpg.riff.3421

think about it right? Hotline bling is all about the deception of other people, aka the failure of life to stay in place as we leave it, the insistence on other people of being their whole selves even outside the narratives placed on them...drake has no business being mad at someone for moving on when he left first. yet the poignancy of you used to call me and now I am not needed anymore... and the ephemerality of the cell phone as the space of connection, the late-night intimacy of the glowing screen, just the two of us out here in the world.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm YOUNG I'm DUMB and I'm HAVING A GOOD TIME

drakeonianregime, or Hotline Bling Is Kind Of Like The Great American Novel

no one asked for this!!! and now it's here!!!!

Retainer

talldrumking