5 MINUTE FREESTYLE FT BLOODMONEYLUNA, SATIVA

laptop music

CANT FIND THE WORDS FOR THIS THING THAT I HATE
THAT KEEPS ME ASLEEP WHEN I SHOULD BE AWAKE
LIKE WATCHING FROM UNDER A FROZEN LAKE
WHY CANT I SAY WHAT I WANT TO SAY ?

dont tend to think
just rush into things
and rush out as fast
dunno how to make it last

just like the moon pulls the tides
you pull me in then push me back to the side
the holy ghost was speaking to me last night
they said i really messed up this time

stuck in a world inside myself
daydreaming dreaming dreaming dreaming
losing track of everyone else
and feeling feeling feeling

maladaptive daydreaming

other platforms :3

maladaptive_daydreaming

bottomless pit in your image
spending my nights trying to dive right through
end of my rope where i sit and wait for
something to hold onto
spinning through grey and green interests

swallow my prying hands
caught in some lie that i built for you
in cauterized wounds from a burning truth:
there’s nothing to, nothing to do
but wait til i feel like it’s finished

of course
the lighthouse
it shines
down on this shipwreck

everything good leads into a dead end
everything bad leads to an extension
head in the sand, no communication
self-sabotage, but still feel abandoned

minuscule hitch i prod and poke
when things are too good, uncomfortable
i look for a reason, however small
then distance myself away from it all

and regret

is this…
it feels like…
unsure…
is this loss or not?

7 lines leaving their imprint

is this loss? (demo)

sleep and showers beckoning
like knocks upon a door
heartache spreads like rumored news
but i still ask for more
staring through a keyhole
at the light that glows outside
like watching family videos
the night after your loved one's died

laying a puddle of my own sweat on the floor
i must let these demons out before they eat my core
cannot stand to be here that much longer, i am sure
why waste time living anymore?

i see my face
on your pack of cigarettes
i see your lungs
in every dying star

we lie awake at night
two owls in a tree
fading in and out
of our immortality
i question everything
from myself to the sky
i hope that i might learn
a fraction of it all before i die

praying in a huddle for a couple extra days
i can spend inside my house and use for coping with my ways
i imagine heaven as a room in which you stay
and i imagine hell as when you go away

i see my face
on your pack of cigarettes
i see your lungs
in every dying star

why must we lay here? 
oh, why must we lay here? 
oh, why must we lay here?
oh, why must we lay alone? alone?

i see my face
on your pack of cigarettes
i see your lungs
in every dying star
i see my home
in your fucking sillhouette
i see my loneliness
in your absence

absence

a song that functions as a coping mechanism

maybe i'll leave home today and drive or walk around
i could meet some friends for dinner at a restaurant downtown
but something tells me it's a bad idea to outside
that little voice inside my head that whispers "you might die"

maybe i'll get out of bed and go down to the store
i could buy a couple candy bars or bleed out on the floor
i'm so prone to accidents and awkward little habits
i don't wanna leave my room, i wanna hide out in my attic

i am afraid of everything
i run away from everything

i think i'll go out tonight, and maybe see a movie
'cause there's so much to fear in life, but also so much beauty
i know that my condition is difficult, alright
but i'm sick of letting all my friends believe that they're disliked

so i'm gonna leave my house today
i'm gonna say all that i need to say
and i'll talk to strangers and compliment them
to prove to myself that i'm strengthened again

i am okay with everything
i'll be okay through anything

anxiety; self-reliance

modern baseball - re-done cover

this is an album about the fears and tremors that come with love, and the crisis of not knowing your own identity as yours.

enjoy.

fog & obscure

download

worse

@imtiffany

go check out the original:
https://soundcloud.com/imtiffany/nothingspecial

art by https://twitter.com/cattactoe

tiffany - nothing special cover

cover photo taken by mads

chain smoke the hunger away
only eating one meal a day
on a good day, but the good days
will never come

i got so used to loss
that is sort of became part of me
i lose myself in my head
i lose my patience in the agony

i lost my youth in the fallout
of somebody else

who took advantage of trust
and left me hating myself

it's always there in my dreams
i put myself through your hell

why did you do those things to me?

sit down on the side of my bed
and contemplate the endless nothing sat inside of my head
it's such a slow burn, but the candle
is always lit

i got so used to fear
it learned to manifest in me
i fear the ending of it all
i fear your reckless apathy

i fear that everything's boring
and nothing will help

it's like it's all in a cycle
my dwindling health

i feel the breath of the reaper
on the side of my neck

why do i still get out of bed?

reckless apathy

secret handshake - fed up

hi how r u i'm ok also this is old

counting all the constellations
i can see without all this pollution
everything will come and go
your permenance comes from all the reminders

always waiting too long
plucking strings from the spiderwebs hanging down
it's all meter when you're living in song
move slowly to an infinite, monotonous sound
barely eating, always staying in place
depression nesting in between these hollow parts
something endless in my monochrome dreams
i'm a nobody now that you've taken my heart

counting all the constellations
i can see without all this pollution
everything will come and go
your permenance comes from all the reminders

is this loss? (demo)

tea

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