Music by Peter Gaffney, lyrics by Brian Grace-Duff and Peter Gaffney. 

Spoken dialogues written by Brian Grace-Duff and performed by (in alphabetical order) Lesley Berkowitz, Lana Brucker, Dane Eissler, Nathan Foley, Frankie Galluci, Sarah Schol, Johnny Smith, Jordi Wallen.

Music performed by Sarah Larsen (violin), Rachel Icenogle (cello) and Peter Gaffney (guitar, accordion, harmonica).

From the original musical "The Last Plot in Revenge" by Brian Grace-Duff, directed by John Clancy, produced by BRAT Productions (June 2013 in Philadelphia). Featuring members of the original cast and orchestra.

The Original Soundtrack of The Last Plot in Revenge

Music for Cabaret & Musical Theater


MISS PIRLIPAT

Miss Pirlipat’s game is another hard nut story boys
She fell in love too fast with the girl in the looking glass
A girl so vain, you can’t win, it’s the original deadly sin
But you realize, well, that’s exactly why you’ll try

Miss Pirlipat comes from the best bred blue-blood family, boys
She’ll be sucking on your silver spoon, just make sure you don’t come to total ruin
But your heart and your soul and your loving will leave her cold
When you realize no other girl will do for you

It isn’t rags to riches, it’s not about fortune or fame
But when everybody wants her, you’ll want her all the same
Every boy around has got her number, you couldn’t feel any dumber, boys
When you’re stuffing her stocking full of toys

Miss Pirlipat’s game is another hard nut story boys
Just ‘cause you know the score, it doesn’t mean you won't want her more
It’s in the stars, in your eyes, open your arms, say your goodbyes
When you realize no other girl will do for you but Miss Pirlipat

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Music and lyrics by Peter Gaffney
Peter Gaffney: vocals, accordion 
Jay Davidson: saxophone
Chris Aschman: trumpet  
Ben Keim: piano
Sarah Larsen: violin 
Kaveh Saidi: violin
Andrew Morris: bass
Rolf Lakaemper: drums

Miss Pirlipat (live)

PLANNED OBSOLESCENCE

Listen to me
You’ll hear words that are already out of style
A melody that fades as quickly as your smile
But stay awhile
Listen to me

In this strange world
There will be certain things that fall into your hands
That were created just to stimulate demand
D’you understand?
In this strange world

Planned obsolescence
The world is falling, falling, falling from existence
Planned obsolescence
Something is calling, calling, calling from the distance
Your grave, for instance!

Say you want a shave
You grab a razor that you bought the other day
All it takes is just to look at it the wrong way
It’s dull as sin
That’s foul play!

And what about going out?
But your umbrella’s wrought with frailty and doubt
All it takes is just one little puff of wind
It’s outside in
And inside out

Planned obsolescence
The world is falling, falling, falling from existence
Planned obsolescence
Something is calling, calling, calling from the distance
Your grave, for instance!

Yes, planned obsolescence, the meaning of everyone’s existence…

Planned obsolescence
The world is falling, falling, falling from existence
Planned obsolescence
Something is calling, calling, calling from the distance
Your grave, for instance!

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Music and lyrics by Peter Gaffney
Peter Gaffney: vocals, guitar 
Julie-Francoise Kruidenier: violin 
Michael Schupp: violin
Andrew Morris: bass
Rolf Lakaemper: drums

Planned Obsolescence (live)

SECONDS

Some men say it’s always like the first time
Always love at first sight
When they finally get the nerve, it’s first come and first serve
Well first impressions aren’t enough
But they’re always right

Seconds
Give me seconds
I’ll take seconds if you please
‘Cause if anything’s good the first time, baby,
The second’s a guarantee
Play it again
One more round
Then let me be

Wine me, dine me, give me some more
Show me what your money is for
Keep on looking for a way to my heart
Try a little caviar for a start
Take me home, feed me again
Midnight snack at a quarter to ten
I’m still hungry when you ask me to dance
It isn’t in your pantry, it’s in your pants

REFRAIN

I’m so hot, you’re so cold
I could almost swallow you whole
Make me an omelet, bake me a cake
Don’t just stand there for goodness sake!
Everything’s spinning, everything’s wrong
Suddenly the feeling is gone
Now I’m cold and you are hot
And I’ll throw you away without a second thought

REFRAIN


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Music and lyrics by Peter Gaffney
Peter Gaffney: accordion, keys
Kim Zelnicker: vocals
Julie-Francoise Kruidenier: violin
Michael Schupp: violin
Andrew Morris: bass
Rolf Lakaemper: drums

Seconds

THE CAROUSEL

When I was just a little boy, no more than a tot
My mother took me down to Coney Island
She told me:
“Get on the carousel, find yourself a horse
And never, oh, don’t ever stop smiling.”

The music began and the horses went around
Oh, that’s when mummy dearest disappeared into the crowd
High up on my horse, my heart began to race
With the stupidest smile imaginable plastered to my face

Never, no never, did I see my mum again
I stayed on the carousel until the age of ten
A delightful transformation had begun inside my head
In the place of Coney Island was a cabaret instead

The music began and the horses went around
Year after year I went up and I went down
Smiling to myself at the center of the world
I imagined I was riding on the backs of beautiful girls!

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Music and lyrics by Peter Gaffney

Peter Gaffney: guitar, vocals
Jay Davidson: sax
Chris Aschman: trumpet
Kaveh Saidi: violin
Alexandra Cutler-Fetkewicz: violin
Andrew Morris: bass
Rolf Lakaemper: drums

The Carousel (live)

THE GRAND DESIGN

There’s a girl from New York City who will tell you a tale
Of a long and lonely winter when her fellow set sail
As he went off to make his fortune he said to his bride
Keep the fire burning and the men outside

Well, she fell into a quandary when it started to snow
‘Cause she didn’t have a penny and she'd run out of coal
She took the matter to the Madame at the local hotel
Who was pleased to introduce her to the clientele

They said fancy things
She was unpretentious
They had money indeed
She was conscientious
They gave her diamond rings
She was getting anxious
But in a matter of time 
They were standing in line
She had a big fat pocket of coal

With a pocket full of diamonds and an elegant gown
That’s the way she met her fellow when he came back to town
And though he’d sailed the Seven Oceans in search of gold
Well, he didn’t catch nothing but a common cold

Then he wondered and he worried how she made ends meet
‘Cause he saw the fire burning and was feeling the heat
And so she told him she would tell him if he needed to know
“I’ve been busy turning diamonds into coal”

Take my advice
Be a real sensation
Act real nice
It’s an occupation
Let’s be precise
It’s your liberation
You’ll say for goodness sake
Every diamond you make
But goodness has nothing to do
With the grand design

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Songwriter Peter Gaffney, composer/arranger Chris Aschman
Jess Conda: vocals
Chris Aschman: trumpet
Jay Davidson: saxophone
Ben Lupinacci: trombone 
Jim Holton: piano
Ken Pendergast: bass
Gabriel Globus-Hoenich: drums

The Grand Design (live)

It’s been a soggy November ever since I remember
Even in the summers mad heat,
And these metronome johns make the time ramble on
And provide me with something to eat.

But you won’t age a day, least that's what they say,
If you don’t look your face in the mirror.
And in springtime there's plum, but spring ain’t where I'm from,
And there's no way to get there from here

Time, it ain’t time that I'll miss when I'm gone
Because time's the one lover I had who did me all wrong
Never saw light of morning that didn’t fade into evening in
Time, like a man who won’t make up his mind
Was to carry me through all my days
But instead he just spins life away

Working girls are like clocks, but it beats darning socks
And the hours they suit me just fine
When I ain't making hay I don’t keep track of the days
I just keep vinegar out of my wine

Time, it ain’t time that I'll miss when I'm gone
Because time's the one lover I had who did me all wrong
Never saw light of morning that didn’t fade into evening in
Time, like a man who won’t make up his mind
Was to carry me through all my days
But instead he just spins life away

.....................................................................................

Music by Peter Gaffney, lyrics by Brian Grace-Duff and Peter Gaffney

Sarah Schol: Vocals
Peter Gaffney: Guitar
Sarah Larsen: Violin
Rachel Icenogle: Cello

Copyright 2013. All rights reserved.


01. A Song to Move Through Time

Music by Peter Gaffney

Peter Gaffney: Guitar, Whistling, Vocals
Sarah Larsen: Violin
Rachel Icenogle: Cello

Copyright 2013. All rights reserved.


02. Revenge Theme

03. Peaches' Theme (Introduction to Revenge)

Close your eyes, let the dream begin again
There he is, that's the killer, can you picture him? (That's him)
Just the shadow of a man, a bullet fired long before your world began
A thing more terrible than fate, it’s not the rule of love or hate
But the instinct of volition coming through your gate

Better hush beneath the covers, now hess at your door
Or just lie still, it ain’t you that he’s looking for
Another stranger in the night, it ain’t your business if he's wrong or if he’s right
A thing more terrible than chance, a crime forgiven in advance
When the finger pulls the trigger
Blood will fall everywhere but on his hands (We all fall down)

Angel of God, my guardian dear, to whom His love commits me here
Every day be at my side, to light, to guard, to rule and guide
With all I do, and all I say, from your path I will not stray
Now keep dear family close to thee, and in death we’ll be joined through Cavalry
Amen

In the morning time to take a stand (We all fall down)
We'll have to strike in revenge if we want the upper hand (We all fall down)
The execution of a plan is something bigger than the life of just one man
Like a campfire in the night there’s no need to justify it
It's the feeling of the darkness that surrounds you that makes it right

Pick your heroes wisely lest they fall to the ground
Well, goddamit we all fall down!

.....................................................................................

Music by Peter Gaffney, lyrics by Brian Grace-Duff and Peter Gaffney

Nathan Foley: Lead Vocals (in the role of the Nameless Gunman)
Jordi Wallen: in the role of Kattrin
Lesley Berkowitz, Frankie Galucci, , Sarah Schol, Johnny Smith: Backup Vocals
Peter Gaffney: Guitar, Harmonica, Percussion
Sarah Larsen: Violin
Rachel Icenogle: Cello

Copyright 2013. All rights reserved.


04. A Lullaby for Bad Dreams

In mourning at least four mornings
In black at least a year
And the last plot in the churchyard
For a Scrapfield we held so dear

Behold a sad procession, let everyone despair
He's only a possession of which the pall must bear
With this memento mori I carry of his hair
Let it be! McGruels deserve the grave

So give up the ghost
As far as death, I got a lethal dose
But even so, I'd like to make a toast
In honor of my vengeance (See how tight he ties the knot!)
With all the family in attendance
And no McGruel will foil the consummation of my grave!

All Scrapefields are false
I walked with death in hand, you clung to pulse  
The earth is calling me to decompose
You cannot block our wedlock
My vows are sealed with a kiss!
With kin beside me till the Lord knocks
For nothing could be sweeter than the last plot in Revenge!

Don't give me that look, Mr. McGruel
Lord knows it's a little too late
Like yesterday's flowers, the love that was ours
Has finally withered away

I never gave up, Harrietta
My game was to patiently wait
In th' McGruel cabal we pick flowers in fall
And suffer our sins in the shade (We suffer our sins in the shade, etc.)

Don't give me that talk, Mr. McGruel
This isn't a picnic in June
Devout to your kin, you were quick to give in
And you left me a garden in ruin (You left me a garden in ruin, etc.)

I gave you my word, Harrietta
I said I'd make good from the start
But love's like a rose, for it leads by the nose
And it pricks you for smelling too hard (It pricks you for smelling too hard, etc.)

Don't give me that croque, Mr. McGruel
That compost you call a bouquet
So quick to presume that our rose is in bloom
When it reeks of immortal decay (It reeks of immortal decay, etc.)

Oh, Time changes everything
What happened to the day when we could still smell the blood?
Oh, and the grave’s like a wedding ring
Let it burry all our hopes, let the sun rise no more, rise no more

Oooh, you deserve the grave
I deserve the grave 
For nothing could be sweeter than the last plot in Revenge!

.....................................................................................

Music by Peter Gaffney, lyrics by Brian Grace-Duff and Peter Gaffney

Leslsey Berkowitz, Johnny Smith: Lead Vocals (in the roles of Hattie Scrapfield and Lowell McGruel)
Frankie Galluci, Dane Eissler: Lead Vocals (in the roles of Scrapfield and McGruel corpses)
Peter Gaffney: Accordion, Guitar, Percussion
Sarah Larsen: Violin
Rachel Icenogle: Cello

Copyright 2013. All rights reserved.


10. The Dirge of Revenge (or, I Deserve the Grave)

Music by Peter Gaffney, text by Brian Grace-Duff

Johnny Smith: in the role of the Nameless Gunman
Nathan Foley: in the role of “Uncle” Vernon Fossors
Jordi Wallen: in the role of Kattrin
Sarah Schol, Nathan Foley, Jordi Wallen, Leslsey Berkowitz: Gunman’s Chorus
Peter Gaffney: Guitar
Sarah Larsen: Violin
Rachel Icenogle: Cello

Copyright 2013. All rights reserved.