there she goes (the la's cover)

when i find myself in creative slumps, covers help me feel like i'm being productive-ish. so here's one of those, & it's teenage dirtbag this time.

teenage dirtbag (wheatus cover)

for your precious love (otis redding)

space age love song (a flock of seagulls)

chelsea hotel no 2 (leonard cohen)

single #1 off my upcoming album, 'comatose', out april 14.

comatose

nothing new

track #2 off my album, 'comatose'.

lyrics:
dying tree
you're much like me
got nothing left to try
to be before you leave
the starry sky caught my
attention for a while
then blew in the ceiling of smoke
from the forest fire

did the time, still misaligned
day-by-day repeating
it all line-by-line
paid the toll, still hard to know
which direction if any to go
guess i'll just head home

comatose
in stranger's clothes
well flipping through these pages
always was a chore
the fire in these eyes
is fading with the night
hopefully some memories
live on after we die

comatose - single

single #3 off my upcoming album, 'comatose', out april 14.

lyrics:
i watched my spirit carry on without me
a trail of yellow paint left on the floor
the other skeletons took
me in & fed me wine & bread
& gave me a tour

no i won't let this last
i'll always find
a way to fuck it up
i'm told this too will pass
well not for me, i better be
getting on my way

i called the doctor in & told my story
he took my blood & said all hope was lost
the other physicians took
me in & fed me lithium
& strapped me to a cot

said "come on let's get you back
there's always hope
for folks such as yourself"
it all happened so fast
but i am normal now
oh hi how are you
okay

let's get you back - single

let's get you back

the 4th & final single off my upcoming album, 'comatose', out april 14.

lyrics
you're overseas
i'm on my knees trying hard not
to suffocate myself again

a couple months
couldn't vanish soon enough
& i can't promise all that much

leave me be
can't you see i'm busy
killing myself slowly once again

i need some time
to reteach myself the lines
& the purpose of it all

darlin' please
keep me company, i'm back
to my old self once again

take my hand
tell me everything's alright
even if it's not alright

once again - single

once again

until then

nowhere to go

losing light

hate (to see you this way)

(insomnia)

all the same

lyrics:
i'll think i found solace in dreaming
then remind myself one day i'll wake
never could see so well in the evening
'if you stare long enough
then your eyes will adjust'
so i'm told, i hope they're right
wish i was sold on the divine

then come the times i feel so alive
catch myself & rewind
just keep it at bay
i see the face of the void
every night around 8
so let's hit the town
& have a few rounds
at least until we just about blackout
well, what do you say?

thought about telling you
what i was thinking
but if i did you'd surely run off
best stick to the script, keep it easy
just remember your lines
& i'll remember mine
could you show how you get past?
you be the mould, i'll be the cast

i'd kill to rewind, oh it's been some time
since i last felt alive
i must be insane; i still see the face
of the void, now it's whispering things
so let's skip this town, i gotta get out
this time it'll stop following me around
well, what do you say?

head on fire

blackout

lyrics:
thought of moving up the hill
but remembered i just have
this 5 dollar bill
so i'll just kick this can until
the years die out & i regret
the overkill

lost the fight with winter
it's not the life i pictured
forgot to hide
so i'll wait here while the
demons flood inside

heard the news of your decay
called your mother
couldn't think of what to say
well i could just break down & pray
but thought it better
just to get out of this place

so push me through the filter
i'll fit into the picture
forgot to move
leaving me stuck in a position
i didn't choose

overkill

lyrics:
can't help but notice it
the more you echo
the less you find
you want to know
waiting for someone to
tell you where to go
the stars are burning out
the moon is laying low

when there's no melody
left inside your head
you just hum along
to whatever's on next
& the confused harmony
between the blue & red
always gets you down
no matter how much you pretend

nail it into your head
you could be better
forgot the bottle
on the shelf
think of the wonders it
just might have offered
the last time didn't help
you couldn't even tell

when there's no memory
feeding you regret
you could make the most
of what time you might have left
but the current remedy
is ripping you to shreds
never calms you down
not even when you rest

echo

lyrics:
crawl out of the gutter
in your suit, broken tooth
head on fire
find your way to the tunnel
out of sight, no more light
to expire

so out of touch
with the ones you once loved
broke, on the run
only cure leaves you numb
& really just makes you
hunger for more

call out for your mother
she's been gone for so long
still you try
hide under the covers
close your eyes, you're alive
one more night

spent all your years
running far from your fears
having conversations
with a lost space station
oh you try, but it's time
to go home

hunger

lyrics:
playing the part
you never thought you'd get this far
wild at heart
you knew he was trouble from the start

leaf through the signs
it wasn't hard to see the light
he hid inside
you wish that he could find but

night cruisin'
hundred twenty, cut the lights
think with your shut eyes
if there's a collision
what can you do
that's life

you don't wanna fight
you can't even lift an arm tonight
when you saw the knife
you knew it was just a matter of time

before he'd try
not a word could save the guy
scream all you'd like
he's in the devil's sights now

pull over
on the shoulder, hit the lights
& wipe your red eyes
it's getting late
there's always tomorrow
it's time

collision

a song that didn't make it onto the 'to make it through the day' EP.

wrapped in chains

to make it through the day

lost

crumble

shaky hands

tell me now, why should i go on?
24, still haven’t found a home.
maybe if i didn’t have this
broken face,
i would’ve never had
this feeling at all.

face-to-face with everything i love—
look away when it all seems too much.
maybe if i didn’t have this
tangled heart,
i’d be able to look
you in the eye.

oh, it comes and goes,
& i try to stretch my hand out
when it’s close.
though i know it to be fleeting,
i still play the fool—
it just might be the only way
to carry on.

& when i’ve lost my mind,
there won’t be any meaning
left to find.
maybe that’s the state
i’ve been dreaming of.
i guess all i can really do
is count the days.

on a sailboat

maybe (when i've lost my mind)

lyrics:
i saw a ghost tonight. 
it looked me in the eye— 
i wanted to look back, 
but lost my sight. 

it took my hand, & i 
slowly realized 
it was you, 
& i lost my spine. 

if i never saw your face, 
i would never know this pain. 
& this bear won’t stop watching me, 
through my window, while i try to sleep. 

i got a call today— 
she said she was okay; 
i listened, without 
a word to say. 

she gave her heart away; 
i kept mine in its place. 
do i not care? 
or am i just afraid? 

is this indifference gonna replace 
the kid i used to be? 
falling forward, with no end in sight— 
is it too late to still pretend? 

i hope it’s not too late 
to still pretend.

racing from the silence

i saw a ghost tonight

a song my good friend dylan & i wrote together.

lyrics:
let’s catch the red line
we can daydream
on the train ride home

dancing lights, dreams of you & i
riverside, just hold my eyes
racing down to the edge of time
thinking back on times we had

& while the buildings fall
(wandering eyes throw me in the sun)
we’ll watch the sun
& moon take turns
(moonlit eyes, just throw me in)

stay ‘til the morning
we can count the ceiling stars
above my bed

dancing lights, feel the sun & moon
riverside, just hold my eyes
racing down to the edge of time
thinking back on all we had

keep the curtains drawn
let’s watch the sun
& moon take turns

wandering eyes throw me in the sun
moonlit eyes, just throw me in

sun & moon - single

sun & moon (w/ Dylan Stack)

lyrics:
the moon shone bright 
i lay, waiting for the meteor shower 
a little drunk, the snow 
warmer than without the wine 
the others stayed inside 
convinced it wouldn’t show 
& they were right 
it didn’t show 
though, i still didn’t 
feel alone 

i told myself 
'it’s not too late' 
knowing well that it was 
though, somehow still 
not disappointed 
but content 
with the hard mattress of snow 
the impossible distance 
between myself & the stars 
& the cliché 
that i’m so small

photograph - EP

waiting for the meteor shower

lyrics:
hold me to the light
switch it off, see if i shine
or lose me to the night
oh, i’ll be fine

sitting, side by side
i know our tongues get tied
tell the same story twice
i’ll act surprised

is it too late to sail
to when the rumble strips were whales
caught under the ground
& singing out

you’re lost to me
& not just me
your memory
is withering

rumble strips

co-written by my wonderful friend (& one of my favourite poets) matt sutton. 

turn me upside down 
& shake my dreams out 
of my pockets 
i don’t need them now 
i’ve got a desk with 
my name on it 
this pile of paper grows 
i’ve never looked at a page 
but i don’t get rid of them 
just in case 

give my body to the city 
where i was born 
leave it out for 
all the citizens 
when they’re bored 
to look at, & make 
what they want 
of the life i had 
no, i probably didn’t have

the life i had - single

the life i had

where i used to live

you looked nice

single #1 from my upcoming album, 'afterglow', out March 9.

lyrics:
your body creaks
like your childhood home
you stretch your limbs
to ease your bones
your muscles tear
your hair falls out
your memories have nothing
to do with you
cover your eyes to prepare
for when the light burns out

it’s strange to see
a ghost alive
so long before
the body’s died
tie your ankle to an anchor
cut yourself loose once again
you still can’t bear the end
cover your eyes to prepare
for when the light burns out

dust collects on
the casket of today
chasing the tail
of this afterglow

afterglow - single

afterglow

single #3 from my upcoming album 'afterglow', releasing March 9.

lyrics:
said to me you couldn’t sleep
asked if i’d help make you tea
you said you were
afraid of the dark
i didn’t buy it
but i felt your spark

just say the words
& i’ll be by your side
go ahead if you’d like
i’ll be close behind

& you tell me there’s a battle
between your body & soul
you got tipped off of your
balance beam, been trying
to get back home

conversation in your bed
opened up the window
& the thunder sounded
like an earthquake
it rumbled you to sleep
i laid awake

& you tell me there’s a battle
between your body & soul
you got tipped off of your
balance beam, been trying
to get back home

don’t you cry
bright blue eyes
hold you through the cold night
please don’t feel like
you should have to apologize

balance beam

single #4 from my upcoming album, 'afterglow', releasing March 9.

lyrics:
it was a pretty evening
she made sure of it
nothing he could ever say
would change her mind

sitting on the edge
on the roof
of her apartment
staring silently
waiting for the fireworks
to go off

a look, a touch, a feeling
a half-hearted ‘goodnight’
he knew the way she felt then
by how quick she locked the door

drifting from the edge
now a speck
in the distance
realized again
he was the fireworks
that never went off

fireworks - single

fireworks

lyrics:
head to the sky
watch it crack
watch the night
bleed from black
into blue
covered tracks
leaving you
at the door
where you’ll be
asking for
one repeat
but the wind
has its way
of pushing your
body down
one straight road

open your eyes
look ahead
look behind
but the rear-view
is fogged
& the path
branches off
oh your life
is a line
& a circle
intertwined
& the end
when it comes
let the memories flood
through your skin

repeat

lyrics:
you found his note
taped to the mirror
you could hardly read it
through the tears
& the heartache
the confusion
the denial
that he's gone

think back on all
the times you had
how you always thought
of him as your dad
the mistakes
& the acceptance
& the fires
that kept you warm

he always called you special
reminders always helped
but now that he's underground
it’s all up to yourself
to feel better
to feel loved

reminders

lyrics:
turn your shoulder from
the girl with pretty eyes
but not as blue as those
you let dissolve into the sky

pluck the petals from
the roses by the lake
your veins enlarge with every
step you choose to take

cause you destroy everything
that you touch—you’re so guilty

try so hard to forget all
those words she said
you keep a record on to drown
the voice out of your head

trace the sunset on the
window by your bed
you’ll never have to watch
another beautiful thing end

but you can’t replace the sun
yeah, it’ll set no matter what

you could never tell,
tell the difference between
beginnings & ends
something lost
in the shock
it’s in the shadow
where you live

beginnings & ends

having a couple of versions that didn't make it onto the album (b-sides 5 & 6), i thought it would be fun to record a few more alternate versions of the songs on afterglow. the first 4 tracks, all recorded late February / early March, much more stripped down than the album versions, are closer to how they sound when i play them live / solo.

anyway, i hope you enjoy these versions, in these strange times. i'm excited to share what i'm currently working on sometime later this year.

stay safe everyone <3

Afterglow (B-Sides)

someday (ver. 2)

1st single from my EP, ‘fragments’.

lyrics:
fashioned your ghost
with my breath
the winter air
the perfect punishment
tried to tell you my regrets
were poisoning my head
but before i could, you left

sought some refuge
in my bed
where your pillow
lay beneath my head
& although it didn’t
hold your scent
i don’t know
it just helped
to keep me warm

found a letter in the drawer
i couldn’t tell if it
was even yours
spent a minute
on each word
& did my best
to get every
cadence right

& it hasn’t sunk in yet
kept all my receipts
in case you want
to take me back
but for now
i’ll keep my head
to the ground
& i’ll count each second
i’m awake

refuge - single

refuge

you’re waiting for the big relief
that day you’ll get to drop everything
& get on with it
& though you might be jaded
you’ll finally have the freedom
& the clarity you’ve earned

but even catharsis loses its
flame in time
so before it dies take a picture
of the light

you see it just the way it is
you either have to get lost
in a new world or give up
you never asked to be here
she didn’t know what to say
when you finally made your choice

well even cathedrals lose their
glow in time
so before it crumbles make a note
of its shine

the smallest one

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