The AMPire Diaries Episode 52: The Vampire Diaries - “Monster’s Ball”

Welcome to Qetsiyah Cast! Your favorite Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast is horny, and you know what that means: We’re taking some time to honor the baddest bitch of all during our discussion of The Vampire Diaries’ “Monster’s Ball” (Season 5, Episode 5). That also includes:

- Your hosts celebrating the fact that they do not want to throw up anymore this season.
- The return of Spoiler Apology Corner (feat. LaToya Ferguson)
- An Oscar award-winning performance from LaToya.
- The return of the titular vampire diaries.
- Dr. Wes Maxfield’s age.
- The television show Reign.
- Elena’s red streak. Still.
- Miss June, surprisingly.
- THE DEFENSE OF TYLER LOCKWOOD AND MICHAEL TREVINO.

“COSTUME PARTY OF THE DAMNED” (“Monster’s Ball”)

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/ampdiariespod/
Email us! theampirediariespod@gmail.com
Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod
Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod
Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “Monster’s Ball”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUXJaTVN2as
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Monster’s Ball”:  Whitmore Historical Ball

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Amazon Podcasts, as well as wherever you get your podcasts.

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

The AMPire Diaries

052 - The Vampire Diaries - Monster's Ball

The AMPire Diaries Episode 107: The Originals - “Gonna Set Your Flag on Fire”

Did someone say “bottle episode?” Well, they would be wrong because only one of the plotlines is contained in a single location. But why split hairs? Because this week, your favorite Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast is discussing The Originals’ “Gonna Set Your Flag on Fire” (Season 2, Episode 10). Which means we’re talking:

- Cami doing… good? No, not just “one good point”... Good.
- How this is a CLASSIC Lyle & Nickerson ep.
- “The Loving Dad” Mikey Mike.
- Unwanted feelings of sympathy for Jackson + ideas on some new ways for Hayley to bully a man who loves her.
- Jill/Freya is gonna be a Fast Burn. (Much like it will be for Freya/Hot Topic.)
- We are BEGGING Marcel to show Davina Kol’s Hamlet lesson.
- ANOTHER incredible Mikaelson performance, courtesy of Black Rebekah (clumsy portmanteau pending).
- Limiting our gag noises because of Jill’s upset tummy.
- Highly-anticipated JILL RANKINGS.
- Poor Kol, facing the Konsequences of his acKtions. 🙁
- Mentally dabbing.

“WHEN TWO SIDES COLLIDE” (“Gonna Set Your Flag On Fire”)

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/ampdiariespod/
Email us! theampirediariespod@gmail.com and fatherkieran1@gmail.com
Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod
Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod
Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “Gonna Set Your Flag On Fire”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obHaZa44JdY
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Gonna Set Your Flag On Fire”: The meeting of the two sides (and Finncent’s magical trap as a result)

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Amazon Podcasts, as well as wherever you get your podcasts.

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

107 - The Originals - Gonna Set Your Flag on Fire

The AMPire Diaries Episode 108: The Vampire Diaries - “Woke Up With a Monster”

You remember how Meredith Fell was an expert on using vampire blood to cure any and all medical ailments? Caroline Forbes really should’ve gotten her second opinion from her… Ah, this week, AMPies, your favorite Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast is discussing The Vampire Diaries’ “Woke Up With a Monster” (Season 6, Episode 11). Which means we’re talking:

- #DirectorPaul, Take 2, obviously. But also: #Kainapped.
- PUT TYLER ON. (And maybe TAKE CAROLINE OFF. Just this once.)
- Jill’s got a cold in this episode, be nice to her.
- All of Enzo’s different motivations for the Sarah Salvatore-Nelson saga.
- The Liv/Tyler (not to be confused with Liv Tyler) dilemma.
- Hair. No, not the musical. The body part.
- What is the Surge status in the COLD DRINKS machine?
- We relive the most horrific scene in TVD history.
- 30 days ‘til the next celestial event? Sounds fake.
- TVD finally breaks Jill, as it does us all.
The Scorpion King.
- Tehe… NEW BIT JUST DROPPED.

And please, please, please don’t forget that it’s time. It’s fatherkieran1@gmail.com time. Confess your sins, AMPies.

“CONTROLLING YOUR MAGIC” ← seriously? do better, gang… (“Woke Up With a Monster”)

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/ampdiariespod/
Email us! theampirediariespod@gmail.com and fatherkieran1@gmail.com
Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod
Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod
Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “Woke Up With a Monster”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUWCt_meYDk
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Woke Up With a Monster”: cOnTrOlLiNg YoUr MaGiC (and a lil’ road trip to Duke)

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Amazon Podcasts, as well as wherever you get your podcasts.
Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

108 - The Vampire Diaries - Woke Up With a Monster

The AMPire Diaries Episode 109: The Originals - “Brotherhood of the Damned” (feat. Michael Chasin)

There’s a boy on the podcast again. Sorry, I couldn’t think of anything clever this week. Because this week, your favorite Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast is discussing The Originals’ “Brotherhood of the Damned” (Season 2, Episode 11). Which means we’re talking:

- Jill hot takes are BACK.
- Hey, did you know Aiden's a wolf?
- Daniel Sharman as Kol. Let’s discuss.
- Some brand new boy insights.
- fatherkieran1@gmail.com NOT fatherkieran@gmail.com.
- Cami's thesis. We're... intrigued?
- Did you hear about Aiden? He's a werewolf.
- We, unfortunately, have to thank Thomas Jefferson.
- COULD Klaus have ended the war?
- Tatia, is it?

“FAMILY IS WHO YOU FIGHT FOR” (“Brotherhood of the Damned”)

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/ampdiariespod/
Email us! theampirediariespod@gmail.com and fatherkieran1@gmail.com
Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod
Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod
Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “Brotherhood of the Damned”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUuyEztEE74
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Brotherhood of the Damned”: The Great War (heard of it?)... and Carillon Eve

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Amazon Podcasts, as well as wherever you get your podcasts.

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

109 - The Originals - Brotherhood of the Damned (feat. Michael Chasin)

BONUS: The AMPire Diaries Presents… Father Kieran Konfessional (2023 Edition)

Hark! The herald AMPies sing. Oh yes, it is that time of year again, AMPies. Please, please, please: salute. Much like Ross and Rachel once were—though that will NEVER excuse Ross sleeping with another woman, like, an hour later—we are on an AMPire Diaries break. But you know who’s not on a break? You know who never sleeps? Musical artist P!NK. No, fuck. Wait. We meant to say The Originals character Father Kieran. Sure, he’s dead now. But he’s gone but not forgotten. And have you seen how hot Todd Stashwick is on Star Trek: Picard? Come on. Which is why it’s time for 2023’s much-anticipated Father Kieran Konfessional episode!

What started as a way to gain intel from the AMPie Diaries’ Patreon (subscribe today!) Discord about whether they wanted to “SMASH” or “PASS” on The Originals’ Father Kieran (fatherkieran1@gmail.com) has now become a totally legit way for your AMPie Queens to absolve our AMPies of their sins. And trust us—y’all do a lot of sinning. Baby Jesus would be so proud of us.

***IMPORTANT BUT WEIRD TECHNOLOGY WARNING*** So, as you might notice as you listen, originally, this episode was somewhat marred by LaToya’s actual mic not being on up top. (So instead, you got computer audio.) But then, through the power of her amazing post-production skills, she was able to fix the issue… to the point that it never really sounded like there was an issue at all. But prior to that fix, LaToya had to edit in a bit. So please, just accept the bit.

***HORNY WARNING*** Oh yeah, we’re still naughty here. Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.

BONUS: The AMPire Diaries Presents… Father Kieran Konfessional (2023 Edition)

The AMPire Diaries Episode 110: The Vampire Diaries - “Prayer For the Dying”

AMPies, catch us outside (ESPECIALLY if you’re Luke Parker), because this week, AMPies, your favorite Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast is discussing The Vampire Diaries’ “Prayer For the Dying” (Season 6, Episode 12). Which means we’re talking (and “horning” through):

- A "fun" time of an episode.
- Luke's dumb little face.
- Another hot daddy antagonist. 
- New LaToya Delena rant just dropped.
- Things that make us 12 years old (and cry like little 12 year olds). You know, like SNICK.
- IS this a good Tyler Lockwood episode?
- The hunt for a non-white “Colin Phelps.”
- Reclaiming January 6.
- Stelena asking each other, “Are you stupid?”
- Luke: The Surefire Winner of the Merge.
- Bill Defiel.
- Which Jenner is “Pepsi?”
- Liz Forbes: Steroline Warrior.

“THE MERGE” (“Prayer For the Dying”)

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/ampdiariespod/
Email us! theampirediariespod@gmail.com and fatherkieran1@gmail.com
Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod
Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod
Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “Prayer For the Dying”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVFhUVefMpc
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Prayer For the Dying”: THE DANG MERGE, BABY

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Amazon Podcasts, as well as wherever you get your podcasts.

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

110 - The Vampire Diaries - Prayer For the Dying

The AMPire Diaries Episode 111: The Originals - “Sanctuary”

As a wise woman once said, “Us girls gotta stick together.” And you know what? She was really onto something. So let’s get into it, girlies! This week, AMPies, your favorite Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast is discussing The Originals’ “Sanctuary” (Season 2, Episode 12). Which means we’re talking:

- SHE'S HERE. (For real this time.)
- Tender-loving neck snaps.
- The elf inside.
- Bayou Bitches.
- The sapphic energy of skipping rocks.
- Feminism Day: Asylum. GIRL POWER!
- A classic Jill Defiel "ENOUGH."
- REALLY bad accent work.
- Just how hot Finncent is. (Spoiler alert: It’s pretty dang hot.)
- Being even hornier for the pairing of Rebekah/Klaus.

“THE GIRL IN BLACK” (“Sanctuary”)

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/ampdiariespod/
Email us! theampirediariespod@gmail.com and fatherkieran1@gmail.com
Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod
Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod
Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “Sanctuary”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3wgdv1t0iQ
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Sanctuary”: Like we said, Feminism Day: Asylum (also: prelude to a wolfie wedding)

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts and Amazon Podcasts, as well as wherever you get your podcasts.

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

111 - The Originals - Sanctuary

The AMPire Diaries Episode 112: The Vampire Diaries - “The Day I Tried To Live”

It’s Bonnie’s birthday, so naturally: She’s fulfilling a suicide pact! (Hold for applause in the form of tears.) Because this week, your favorite Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast is discussing The Vampire Diaries’ “The Day I Tried To Live” (Season 6, Episode 13). Which means we’re talking:

- Unpacking the Enzo vortex, featuring Sarah Salvatore (legit).
- Kai… with feelings?
- Jeremy needing limits. DO NOT give him that pill.
- Caroline’s deep dark truth.
- Twin. Pretty weird, huh?
- Protecting Television’s Melinda Clarke at all costs.
- Fic and counter-fic.
- Sometimes Stefan Salvatore is just Paul Wesley.
- Preventing another “Bloodletting” from happening... all inside of Liv’s dorm room.
- Remembering (?) the Season 4 finale of The Vampire Diaries.
- Dave from Happy Endings.

And you’ll never guess WHO’S with Jeremy.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BONNIE” (“The Day I Tried To Live”)

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/ampdiariespod/
Email us! theampirediariespod@gmail.com and fatherkieran1@gmail.com
Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod
Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod
Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “The Day I Tried To Live”:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DvFdOahufA
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “The Day I Tried To Live”: Bonnie’s birthday :( 

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts and Amazon Podcasts, as well as wherever you get your podcasts (except for Spotify).

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

112 - The Vampire Diaries - The Day I Tried to Live

The AMPire Diaries Episode 113: The Originals - “The Devil Is Damned”

Ah, Finncent. Ah, Freya. Ah, Elijah. This season of television really gives it all to us, doesn’t it, AMPies? And don’t even get us started on the Hayley and Marcel messsaround. Or… do get us started. Because this week, your favorite Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast is discussing The Originals’ “The Devil Is Damned” (Season 2, Episode 13). Which means we’re talking:

- IS the Devil damned?
- Which Mikaelson siblings we're shipping this week.
- The Elf. (We really go in on him this time.)
- Freya's loveable crazy eyes.
- Original Original Finn.
- The show's love... pentagon?
- Elijah Mikaelson and his chores. Cat sound.
- The "This Body is Incredible" Moment of the Week.
- Gerald and Hayley's "precious gifts."
- Klaus' one good point.
- What if a baby... was a genius?
- A whole lot of freak shit.

“FAMILY IS POWER” (“The Devil Is Damned”)

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/ampdiariespod/
Email us! theampirediariespod@gmail.com and fatherkieran1@gmail.com
Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod
Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod
Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “The Devil Is Damned”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VvfUYHGvjM
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “The Devil Is Damned”: “Alphas” bending the knee to Gerald (one of the many pre-marriage rituals)

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts and Amazon Podcasts, as well as wherever you get your podcasts (except for Spotify). 

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

113 - The Originals - The Devil Is Damned

The AMPire Diaries Episode 114: The Vampire Diaries - “Stay”
AMPies, we’re saying two goodbyes this week: one devastating, sad goodbye and one goofy-ass goodbye (as a treat). Because this week, your favorite Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast is discussing The Vampire Diaries’ “Stay” (Season 6, Episode 14). Which means we’re talking:

- This being “a funny episode.” (Please, send all complaints on that front to Miss Morgan Lutich.)
- It’s ALSO a Valentine’s Day episode. (Yeah, seriously.)
- #ByeJereBear.
- Jill prepares for her end-of-the-season dissertation on Enzo's inscrutable plan.
- Our goodbye to (real) weed on TVD.
- By the way, LaToya's anti-marijuana agenda continues.
- Kissing kills your mom.
- Showing boob on The CW. (They should've done it.)
- Stefan Salvatore's exposed arms. 
- Alaric's terrible parenting.
- Mckenna Grace’s career: past, present, and future.
- The Jeremy Gilbert spin-off that never was.

“GOODBYE, MYSTIC FALLS” (“Stay”)

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/ampdiariespod/
Email us! theampirediariespod@gmail.com and fatherkieran1@gmail.com
Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod
Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod
Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “Stay”:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lM9ObN6z7hk
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Stay”: Jeremy’s “graduation” day and Liz’s graduation day… to Heaven

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts and Amazon Podcasts, as well as wherever you get your podcasts (except for Spotify).

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

114 - The Vampire Diaries - Stay

The AMPire Diaries Episode 115: The Originals - “I Love You, Goodbye”

A goof of a man once said, “You were supposed to be my wife.” And folks, unfortunately, that day has finally come. This week, your favorite Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast is discussing The Originals’ “The Devil Is Damned” (Season 2, Episode 14). Which means we’re talking:

- Saying hello and goodbye to "Marcel & Gia."
- Gerald still not beating the virgin allegations.
- Morgan's Reddit problem.
- Bridezilla Klaus on HIS special day.
- Freya remaining our favorite freak bitch.
- Being mermaid friends, even with a recasting.
- The many meanings of “Edward Cullening.”
- We've got to make it illegal to make Josh sad.
- The many balconies of the Mikaelson family estate.
- Which character is “giving Cole Turner.”

“THE BIG DAY” (“I Love You, Goodbye”)

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/ampdiariespod/
Email us! theampirediariespod@gmail.com and fatherkieran1@gmail.com
Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod
Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod
Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “I Love You, Goodbye”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtlbOcwzDic
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “I Love You, Goodbye”: Hayley’s wedding day

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts and Amazon Podcasts, as well as wherever you get your podcasts (except for Spotify).

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

115 - The Originals - I Love You, Goodbye

A podcast about The Vampire Diaries that is part re-watch, part first-watch, and all horny for Mystic Falls and its various conspicuously attractive characters.

052 - The Vampire Diaries - Monster's Ball

The AMPire Diaries

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