It seems
like the building I am living in is crumbling
I am no good with repairs
it might have been like this when I moved in
these days the doors won’t stay shut
I have surrendered my privacy
I did not expect staying here
to offer up a challenge for me


Not me
not me
as clever as I claim to be
not me
not me
burned by artificial heat


I swear if that’s your only grievance
you need to leave me the fuck alone
I was indifferent before this
and I will go back to that
mark my words 

It seems
like now’s as good as any of a time to announce it
I am going down with the ship
and I am not sad about it
you can have whatever you want
I don’t want to leave anything in the garbage
mostly the thing I was wondering was
who would even care enough to bother?

Not me
not me
hands are washed  they’re fully clean
not me
not me
a little less than a human being
 
go mad and mark

You Need To Leave Me The Fuck Alone

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Tom Hanks 04 Slow

Podfic of aggressivewhenstartled's story.

Blind Date

did the social thing
and asked about your whereabouts
mutuals shrug shoulders shake their heads
when I saw you last there was a haze around the truth
you don’t know about me
let me prove it to you

circumstances dictate
bare my soul and swallow whole
you wouldn’t recognize me like this
in tender viscera
have you seen the back of my throat?
I can show you now, 
I can show you now,
why don’t you get in there?
I will shut my mouth 

I was stepping out on the misery
given time to commiserate i will find
the common line
the difference between my life
and every part of the animal

found a highschool mixtape
of the songs I used to play
full of demo covers of songs that I hate
broke it over my knee, threw it in the fireplace
who needs sentimental shit like this?
It will die with me,  
I will bury it

every part of the animal

By The Way Of The Cross

He Did Not Cast A Stone

I am always reading 2 books at once
Trying to figure out If i forgot
Something written down
That was important

I forgot that special thing
That I told to you in confidence
Several things I’ve said in public
I’m expected to remember
 
 I’m important
Underlined, narrativized
Shoveled out 
Once a week or sometimes faster
In-between feels like I haven’t 
Half-life to artistic objects 
A hundred songs, a book of matches 
It doesn’t matter
Moments after when
I’m expected to remember

I am always reading 2 books at once
Sometimes the subjects blend together
I’m reading one that makes me hopeful
Which one it is
I can’t remember

I dreamed that I was on stage
And asked to name a single thing
I ever wrote and while I fumbled
I watched the audience get restless

For the most part I agree
Cause there’s a pitch to everything
There’s a hole I chuck things into but
I’m expected to do better

Knowing my way around a language 
Never quite amounts to payments
That I owe, I might be late
But I’m expected to remember

Reading 2 Books At 1nce

A deep breath
I’m plunging in
The paint before
My image sets 
They’re dogging pages
In my honor
Before I’ve even left

A nauseous twitch
I’m obvious
Attentive to my
Base instincts
I’m dodging punches
That were sent
Before the air’s displaced

How septic it was
Lingered on my tongue
I didn’t tell anyone
The lion's share of knowledge
Got stuck in my paw
I didn’t pull it out

Car stuck in the yard
Tearing up the lawn
I turned to slinging mud
To get the hours done
How septic it was
Lingered on my tongue
But please
You can’t tell anyone 

A regret
It’s come to this
How rude i’ve lost
A dinner guest
The town’s closed down
Like it always did
There’s nowhere i can rest

A cosmic shift
I’m over it
The pageantry of
Innocence
The stockade’s full
I lament before
My head is put in there


How septic it was
Tainted my blood
I hid from everyone
The lion’s share of knowledge
Is lodged in my paw
The wound is sore, could you pull it out
Car stuck in the yard
Tearing up the lawn
I turned to slinging mud
To get the damage done
How septic it was
Lingered on my tongue
It is now your duty
You can’t tell anyone

Androcles (Pt. 2)

It’s new
The pieces I detached to bring to you
And I may slouch as I get used
To moving in this way
I tried
To separate the muscle from the hide
And what is left, my very best
Impression of my life

I’m going to lie down

My life
Bundled up in parts and auctioned off
And trying to be grateful for the price
You think I’m worth
For now
The walls around my heart are coming down
Exposing the bare wires that spark
To cough the ideas out

I’m going to lie down

A month
I tried to live deliberately and failed
Frustrated, I continued to persist
The person that I was
Take note
The well is dry, I hope I filled you up
And what you got was nourishing enough
I’ll still be around, but

I’m going to lie down

Androcles (Pt. 2)

GUIDE DOG