I Hope

‼️~CANT TEXT ON THIS ACC TEXT ME ON MY OTHER ACCOUNT 
@ p.dawg32

~”why the fuck do i say that im sorry, ion even know what im sorry for”~
~”yeah i hit That bitch cuz i got nun to lose😱~” 
~”im sorry i dont love like I used to, all this pain in my chest im getting used to, i swear i never meant to go and use you im sorry if i ever did you wrong, sick of writing all these sad love songs, too many times too many times before I’ve been left broken hearted while im crying on the floor but this time i think its my fault, this time I think its my fault.”~
~”its not the fact that you left naw its the way you went leaving all these memories of us got me lost in my feelings, tell me do you regret all the ways you mistreated me? Do you have any regrets? I know you’ve been through a lot of shit, well let me tell you I’ve been through a lot of shit too, but i took the time to heal so i dont deflect all my damage on you”~ ~”nothing i did would ever be enough to change the that way you act, to heal the scars of your past”~
~”and I’ve, lately I’ve been staying up all night wondering if you found another girl you said you gonna call but you lied i told myself that this was the last time, time that i give you and time that we spent, i know how this ends and i cant do it again, cause ever since you left I’ve been trying to find myself when will i find myself? I was crying feeling numb lyin on the ground what would you do if i said i really need you now? You act like you was there but we both know you never were. Do i deserve this? Now im questioning my self worth.~”
~”told me that you love me, told me that you was all in, say you’ll never leave why’d you go breaking yo promise? Yeah i wish you would’ve told me from the jump that you dont want love. You just want somebody somebody that you can drink with, yeah somebody somebody that you could sleep with when your alone and its the weekend. Yeah did you ever really want love? Or was i just a drug? Or maybe through me you saw your way out through a place you were too far deep in, now you good and that’s the reason you leavin’ “~
~”say that it meant nothing nothing, thought we were something something, you left me bleeding im bleeding, its taking time but im healing”~
~”sick of all these love songs, sick of all these love scars, i cant fall in love because when i do i fucking fuck it up”~
~”yeah im sick of all these love songs sick of all these love scars, if i could do it again never let you back in my bed if i could do it again ill take back all that i said”~ 
~”i am not like these hoes, dont compare me to no one”~ ~”all of our memories keep on flooding me i dont know why, you said forever then you left, i guess you fucking lied”~ “2 different people with 2 hearts that were in different places, 1 filled with love the other scarred and always full of hatred”~
~if you see this and know me no you don’t😶‍🌫️~ “i hope you know what you did to me, im grateful for what you did for me, you showed me that you aint shit and these bitches is dangerous now i do em jus how you did to me” 
~” oh now you hate me? Love is a real bitch. So you was faking? Imma hit the kill switch. What the fuck hoe? I was over real quick, you wanted a new bag, i wanted a real bitch.”~

~”when you said that you loved me see i could tell you didn’t mean it, it seemed like you only said it because it seemed convenient, its my fault i wanted love when i really didn’t need it, i cut deep in my own wounds where its hard to stop the bleeding”~ 


~its the fact that he knows how much im hurting rn, and he doesnt even give a fuck. I actually thought that he loved me but i guess i was trippin again, why the fuck is it always me who gets hurt in the end, im so fucking loyal to them and they jus fucking screw me over, im fucking done, done with guys who treat me like shit, he said he loved me then told me he never even loved me at all. It’s like this was a game that he was playing and i jus happened to be the person who he played. It fucking hurts like shit, im so close to just fucking ending it all. My life is so fucking pointless and worthless, all i do in life is get treated like fucking shit~ 😭

~” I guess I dreamed of love like the ones that you see in movies
But all I've had a twisting who the ones who end up losing
'Cause someone's gonna win when they do what you wasn't doing”~

~”i wasnt lyin when i said you was my happiness, i wasnt lyin when i said you who im happy with, I offer time that i cant get back in my love I should’ve cut you off when you were show me all you had was this, now that i lost you im regretful your more than a friend, but then again fallin in love wasnt part of the plan, but its my fault i always seem to put my trust in a man, you told me what i wanna hear you put them lies in my head, i wish we could’ve worked but you always put me last when i will put you first, was tired of working for your love when yo ass had me hurt, was tired of picking up the diamonds when you gave me dirt”~ 


~”dont you know that im lonely when you press your little noses as you kill a little piece of me and then all the condolences? i think im out of my mind and i dont want you to know but i cut deep this time because i want to let go hang in there baby it sounds so easy and basic and its easily said from someone who’s already made it i aint strong enough to make it through another day, and im so fucking tired of saying it’ll be ok, prove that shit or get out of my face cuz you dont know what’s in my head or why i numb my pain away and you dont care neither so stop acting like you do ion need you to be fake i jus needed someone to talk to”~

~”i know, i know. I know we cant go back but we both, we both, we both deserve the best, i wish you well”~ 
~ I'm so alone
Shut up, I ain't mad at you
I found peace in the silence
Call my name and I'm back to you
I'm getting sick of the hiding
All this time I've been spending alone low
Getting sick of anxiety
Don't know how much longer I can hold on~
~ Why love?
Every time I try to change I feel like I'm fuckеd up
More trust
You left me scarrеd broken, how the fuck you ignore us?
Ignore us
You left me with no trust
Are you happy now?
Used me with no fucks
I've been feeling alone~
~”i helped heal your heart while your breaking mine, said the boy that i loved gon change like a dime, driving me crazy kept changing your mind, said you was different guess that was a lie, say you’ll change but you dont, say ill leave but we both know that i wont, so obsessed with my ex had me caught under his spell, in my head once again no i know him way too well how this ends? how this ends? Why you switching sides on me? why you wanna lie to me? thought you was different but you keep on tellin lies on me, said i cheated when we both know that aint true, and you tryna tell everybody that i left you, but i only left because you never change we know these facts tho you the one who fucked it up so what you mad for? Why you acting cold? your such an asshole, the little shit is all i asked for”~ 
~”fuck love ion need that shit to be around me im done, die before that shit gon come around me no love never gon find someone who love me fuck love im done”~
~life is so fucking pointless, ion see the point for talking, or for laughing, or for smiling, or for breathing… im jus done. Done done done.~
~ do any of y’all ever jus wanna go to sleep and never ever wake up? Me 24/7~ 
~”nobody feelin my pain, nobody saw all the shit that i went through for them not to go through the same, take a bullet for them and i bet they gon let you i really be goin the same, people leave and come back like they never had left you, now i cannot do that again, i realize no one is my friend, they said they with you and really not with you, so you know i deadass spend that on my own, im willing to die for the ones that i carry even though im alone i cannot be callin the ones who aint call so im pressing decline when they callin my phone, nobody my friend can’t believe in no words, i dont care who you are goin by what i know”~

 ~ Dm,  you will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart forever… NO ONE ELSE can take that place…i love you so much ❤️ ~I'm not someone who you can just discard whenever your bored with me… i’m a human being who has been through so much shit and just wants to feel loved… i ain’t  trying to go back to that one particular night that made me want to end my fucking life…~“Boy i cried for you, i was down to die for you, even lie for you, came back many times to you, I done tried for you, done cried many nights for you, never lied to you”  “don’t be ashamed of who you are, that’s your parents job 😜” “people will stare, make it worth their while ✨”. “I am a leader, not a follower” “i thought you were different but you keep on telling lies” you the one who fucked it up so what you mad for” “still remember that time we stayed up all night, talked about yo past, you told me bout some guy, who ain't treat you right, said he fucked up yo life that’s why you did me wrong but that don't make it right” 
~height~ 5”0
~favorite color~ light blue 
~age~ 15 years old 
~favorite number~ 32
~favorite songs~ go ghost by karlaaa, live or die by lil xan, Noah Cyrus, dont  talk about it by skydxddy, your the one who said i love you first, by jaybenz 
~relationship status~ sin
~i have really bad trust issues~
 you done put me through so much i went through shit I shouldn’t go through, you the reason I can’t really love like im supposed to” “why the fuck you leave me hangin like its easy to get over with? the fuck you lead me on let me go and get it over with you took time I can’t get back im so dumb I didn’t notice it every breath i take it hurts my minds not really focusing, i thought that we was on the same page i thought that we was meant to be, i thought we was forever and built up on the same energy, i done gave you so much that i know you gon remember me, you went from nothing, to stranger, to lover, then my enemy”
~”do you really fucking think that I enjoy this pain?”~ “Ive gotten so used to pretending to be who you need and not who i am”~ “you the one who said I love you first, but in the end I’m the one who got hurt”~ “you the one who said that we should date, but in the end you the one who didn’t stay”~
~bsf list~ ❤️ Riley J, ❤️ Darian M, dawg you trippin thinkin that you love me but you trickin different definitions about love but there’s something missing, fell in love but fell apart i prolly should’ve listened when my brother done told me “they gon leave you and play victim”~
~people i trust right now 
Emma @ https://soundcloud.com/jsipe28
Dayanara @ https://soundcloud.com/dayanara-sipe
Preslee @ https://soundcloud.com/preslee-southfield
Kendra @ https://soundcloud.com/kendra-manning-443904908
Mia @ https://soundcloud.com/mia-maria-702724177

Tanjiro's "No matter how many people you may lose, never give up" and Rengoku's "Stand tall and be proud, no matter how weak or unworthy you feel. Burn up your heart, grit your teeth and move forward"

Age: it's just a number, so leave me be 

School year: Sophomore in Highschool 

If you ever fail, never give up because F.A.I.L. means First Attempt In Learning. 

Things I like: Rodeos, Art, woodworking, Sports and competin' in them, dirtbikes, horses, fires, fishin', huntin', hard work, gettin' muddy ('cause it's fun) 

I'm kinda stubborn, especially when it comes to drinking water because it literally has no flavor. 

 My lucky number is 17

 I have 2 siblings a brother and a sister and I'm the oldest. 

Birthday: November 5th (Everyone forgets, I'm kinda used to it at this point) 

Taken by Evaly (my whole entire world)

https://open.spotify.com/user/31nihyajct5kpndmnm4ankar7o4m?si=d1f21dfcab71472a  The spotify account is a shared account between me and my cousins a lot of the playlists aren't mine. 

 Teenage Songwriter. 

Has an attitude at times and doesn't like waking up early. (6:30 is too early for me)

Sunsets, dirtbikes, sports, music, walking, and taking drives are my natural high. 

The one thing that I have is that I have Evaly to share my dreams and hopes with includin' all the sunsets, sports, rodeos, playin' guitar, music, walking, and takin' drives with. 

Literally against bullying unless if thats how you and your friends play around then I could care less but I still will care I'm not that cruel of a person

What I listen to: Rap, Country, Pop, Gospel, Upbeat, Break up songs, Mostly Rap and Country though.

"Country Music is three chords and the truth." -Harlan Howard 

Am one crazy redneck kid (I'm crazy enough to drink out of a hose)

Favorite food: TAQUITOS, Pizza, Tacos   
Favorite girl best friend: Tristyn Steele and S-N-Olson 
Favorite best friend: Roman Joseph  
Whole world and most favorite person: Evaly  

I run the 100 meter dash and 200 meter dash thinkin' about runnin' the 400 meter dash again. 

I like Football and Baseball 

I go to youth group every Sunday with my younger sister.

Thanks for readin' and followin'

GROUNDED FOR A LONG TIME 
this is my backup acc!!!  go follow my actual acc https://on.soundcloud.com/7PJY6cFgoSMmL0SMor

SOMETIMES MY DMS DONT WORK, IDK WHY
sometimes they work sometimes they dont, if I don't respond that's bc I'm either out or my DMS are tweaking out

TRUST IN GOD!!! ✝

I Hope

Kidd G