how i am feeling

opening 

written september 2021

lyrics
I guess I'm doing pretty well
For how much I hate myself 
I bet it'll pass pretty soon
let the storm roll by 
till my flowers have bloomed 

Feels like I'm running out of time 
but for the past 8 hours it's been 9
and I can't get in tune 
guess I'll wait it out 
till tomorrow afternoon 

Is it a waste to sit here waiting 
is it a waste to do
anything at all

and I wanna work but I'm too jaded 
and I guess all of it 
makes me feel so small 

I guess I'm doing pretty well 
Think I'm alright but I can't tell
I bet it'll pass pretty soon 
let the storm roll by till my flowers have bloomed 

Feels like I'm running out of time
but in about 8 hours ill be fine
and I can't get in tune 
guess I'll wait it out 
till tomorrow afternoon

bloom

@basssea
aka the clouds are baiting us!

lyrics: 

i hate the taste of sand

but when i need to kill some time

i might as well


you said you felt brand new

like no one ever left you

a tough bargain to sell


and all the fish people i’ve met 

they all seem to lose their heads

at exactly ten pm


you said i seem upset

but i won’t go to bed

while i’m losing my head


go get it all

let them talk 
make them follow you

be it all

they’ll all love you one day


who would’ve thought 

that it would me

 who wouldn’t be there 

be there when you need me when you need me 

you wanted me to go but 

you never told me so 

i just wish i would know 

what’s going on in your head 

cos i wanted to wanted to know

why i couldn’t find you 

and i couldn’t show my own feelings to you 

and all i ever wanted to do was try

but all you’d ever do is cry 

how can i, how can i help you?  
go get it all

let them talk 
make them follow you

be it all

they’ll all love you one day


don’t take this the wrong way

but i can’t look at you sideways

don’t take this the wrong way


don’t take this the wrong way

but i can’t look at you sideways

don’t take this the wrong way

fishhooks (feat. bassea)

dropout live (wunderworld seattle)

https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/freaky5/dejection
pee pee poo poo

Dejection

underscores - heck cover

Benji:

Wait up! (!!!)
Feel my human body laying next to me
Toeing lines between the void and ecstasy
"Come a little closer" don't know what you mean
Don't know what you mean 

Dig through the pile of bones that I left on the counter
It's clear you've got the advantage 
I just wanna say what I want without lighting the fire
But its an arson, I planned it
And it just rides out, you just ignore what's got you questioning your mind now
Cut your current goal and make decisions only switching on a dime now
I think it's light out
I got a grave to dig in the morning, get the shovels and the knives out!!!

Yaz:

Your bones they rattle 
You’re so gone 
Say that we’re enemies
so fun!

Open your heart to me… no literally!
Let me see your lungs in the flesh 
I’ll take your veins out and this flame 
Tie them up and make a bracelet 
Better! Wear them like a necklace 

Boy pick up when I call
Beads and pearls are my call
ur blood and tears on the wall
boy I’m still running you crawl

Keep me under your skin!
Breathe me out, let me in!
Now I’m in your head now I’ve been 
Stuck in there for a min

SPOTIFY

body w/ yazida

„Ich bleib“ ist der leise, bewusste Abschluss eines langen inneren Weges.
Kein Triumph, kein Fazit, kein lautes Ankommen – sondern eine Haltung.

Der Song erzählt von einem Menschen, der gelernt hat zu gehen, zu fliehen, zu funktionieren –
und nun etwas Schwierigeres lernt: zu bleiben.
Bleiben bei sich selbst,
bei Nähe,
bei Gesprächen,
bei Unsicherheit,
bei dem Moment, der früher zu viel gewesen wäre.

„Ich bleib“ ist kein Versprechen an die Zukunft, sondern eine Entscheidung im Jetzt.
Nicht perfekt zu sein – aber präsent.
Nicht alles zu wissen – aber da zu sein.

Musikalisch und inhaltlich verzichtet der Song bewusst auf Dramatik.
Er lebt von Ruhe, von Nähe, von einer Stimme, die nicht mehr überzeugen muss.
Die Angst darf da sein, Zweifel auch – doch sie bestimmen nicht mehr die Richtung.

Der Refrain ist keine Kampfansage, sondern ein inneres Bekenntnis:
Ich laufe nicht mehr weg vor mir.
Ich bleibe, auch wenn es wackelt.
Ich bleibe, weil ich mir selbst vertraue.
Im Kontext des Albums ist „Ich bleib“ kein weiterer Entwicklungsschritt –
sondern das, was bleibt, wenn Entwicklung aufgehört hat, sich beweisen zu müssen.

Ein Song über Selbstvertrauen ohne Härte.
Über Ankommen im Gehen.
Über das stille Wissen:
Das reicht.

Dejection

Freaky

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Nondescript Music Group

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