Note To SelF (mckel)

,, I'm sorry for the delay and so many of u have been patient with me and I appreciate the everlasting FUCK out of u  <3,,,,

voicesinmyhead

<Prod.Whyyshe>

LYRICS:

;<
<
>
I hate
I hate
I hate I have to do this like
evry single 🌘
Babee know that 
I dnt want the🩸stains on my💧
//
And I just see the light 
light of blue shades In the mind,, 
I just keep on caving in with what they see
 And it control my 🧠
                Half ImALso To the F**kIn Point wheERE I JUSt STAY-AWAY From,eeveryone
Cuz they don’t evn understand the Hive of what my mental mind-goes-Thruuu~~
I Dnt wanna explain that2u 
 an hVe to f**kin get all “Along” “
>All the drugs bullshit that I go thru<
(🪦🔫)(🪦💉)(🪦💊)(🪦💊)(🪦💊)

Why am I sorry? Idk😰😅
Why am I dieing? I don’t know..😖
Wishi couldtellyouthis 
And I could give u, better, more!

And let me
 don’t ask me 
I wish I was just
 leaving slowly
An I can’t do that 
 no I got no choice 
An I can’t do that 
 why you think I make noise 
And all my sounds inside my room 
An I cannot see 
From the Hole 
it like a polaroid opposite 
But I’m seeing em thru the wall
Yea I see “nothing”
They tell me 
“It’s toxic” 
I see “nothing” 

//~lives inside my wall
             i cave in,,
             in what they do an what they tellme
I cannot see anyones grounded thoughts 
Nothing shattering besides me
An I listen to you RIDDER 
  Yea
  “Your body yea controls me”(😵‍💫🔫)
I listen to you MASTER
Even wish I could see no one..
I listen to the voices they say 
“Everything is gonna be alright” 😵‍💫😭😭😖😭🤭
I listen to everything I said,,,
Even tho I feel like it’s not right..
I know I shouldn’t,, 
I shouldn’t escape…

      I shouldn’t,
 I shouldn’t escape ….


-This song is about you Ridder-

itsdarkhere

🕳 welcome..
~\\\💿
@lucywav
@rivixrp
@thinkiexist
            -;;”,,/////‘…

-./Intro2thegate

<Prod.@antent

      -LYRICS-

(On my knees)
(I’m sorry)
(Kill my lease)
(I’m sorry)
Where in the sky?
All I see is my fault…
Why don’t they answer?
Why don’t they hear?
Even if I called u at the front
(DONT LEAVE)
No one to answer
 no one to hear
I’m fucking sorry it’s not enough 
Apologies get me so fucked up 
And I know I could of been that better 1
/////
Now your 6 feet under 
And it’s my 
Faaaulllt
I should of gave u 
more 
Gave-u-all 
I didn’t know your life
Would cost it ALLL
I’m sorry I didn’t go down
On down FALLL
I’m sorry your cluttered Mind
My pain and cause 
I should of been there 
to comfort you 
Right from the start 
Let You walk to a stray window 
“Shattered by your handsomeness 
And dark hallow thoughts” 
Bored and yet so empty 
Because of my thoughts💭

-🪦

way too far

clicky

way too far w/curtomaru (klimlords)

___wit my twin @riviXP+

I scream you scream

letmeshowyou\-riviXP+

Lyrics:

/.
/..
/…
/..
/.

“I can’t
 call the ^
And i cannot ever see you
I miss 
The lOws”

I use to wake up every morning 
Almost near 12:00
In the after-
-Noon it was pouring
Not from the rain
But from my eyes /. /. /.
All the drugs couldn’t save me
I couldn’t feel or really felt anything
And I felt deceiving 
I couldn’t help it
I tried to end it 
I tried to stop 
/..
/.
I tried to kill myself 
It didn’t wrk 
And I told myself 
you can’t stop
don’t tell 
Nobody
Cause they don’t care about
Where you’ll go
They don’t care about
/.. /.
Your soul
/.
/. I’m gonna do /. it again
/.
Your leaving now
Your not going again 
I’m leaving now
Your not going again 
Ima leave right now
Don’t kill again!
Leave somehow!


/..

ihavetokillagain

3000 lifepoints

prod twilight blue
made 2/7/23

if you don’t hate me
you will soon 
break me down again and i’m screwed
i can’t live, by myself i need help 
what’s the point of this
i just want you, you-
ah, ah, ah

i drive myself to the appointment
i just drive myself to appointment
i can’t fix mistakes, and i can barely take
emotional like me
life is all a scam, this life is all a joke 
i do it so i can
try to fix myself 
broken in the street, but ur like me
diamonds on me, but i’m lonely 
and i’m so sorry, that i hurt you
i just can’t tell 
what you’ve been through 
it’s just cause of me, all this misery and pain 
stress is eating me
i’m too much to overthink 
i can’t take this life what’s the point of even me
why do i breathe, just to make speeches 
oh my god

i talk into this shit 
i just hurt you bad
i just hate myself 
life is such a drag, diamonds on me
you don’t rlly care 
i’m just such a sad fucking human 
i just make excuses, excuses oh 
life is so clueless, clueless oh
like me, ur not like me
don’t know what to do
ur not like me
don’t know how to live 
don’t know how to breathe 
don’t know how to live 
don’t know how to breathe

mckel - if you dont hate me

///i find myself often by these trees. i try to forget everything before out of guilt and unanswered trauma, self aware it was from my own infliction yet it was also a built up product from entities and other worldly beings that are beyond me yet are apart of me.. i cant ever forget. they wont let me.

the fog u hear in the start of the song is a representation of the fog imagery i physically see these entities thru my mind ;you r physically in my mind for a sec; the light ring u hear is them telling me to remember.. when i try to remember i memorize it as a happy nice memory, which is why u hear it played normal and comforting... then it abruptly stops, i get yelled at
 "NOOO THAT ISNT THE FUCKING MEMORY......remember?".……..you hear the ring a second time,, this is the true memory.. the disturbed memory i tried forgetting as u hear my cries mixed with laughter arise and the distorted off-putting guitar plays,, is when reality sets.... i want to forget.

               —/////////////////////•
        Cross my heart
Don’t say that 
Why’d u leave…
    the “voice” in me?
Don’t do it 
Don’t do that 
Oh no 
         Am I alive?
“Not again”
(Not again)
  -//Did u grasp what I said? 
Am I gone? (Am I gone??) ;(
Like I said? (Like I said?)
Like u want.. ( everyone!)
Like I said? (Like I said!)
And YOU told me// “Not 2 GIVE IN”
     No u said!
              “Like I said!!”

...remember?

𝙽𝚘𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢ꨄꨄ

Your reality. isn't my reality

~MOTHGATE~

letmeshowyou\-riviXP+

thinkiexist

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