Lyrics:

I have slipped from her mind
like a ship from the harbour
After the diminishing sun;

So I am watching
The leaves from the branches,
Their skeletons waltzing
Dwindling to one,

Like brown winter coats,
Unoccupied.
It's that time of year,
It's that time of night

When she comes back to me,
Shrouded in mystery;
When dying is easy
And suffering sweet.

Chorus:
Where does she end and I begin?
(I forget, I forget, I forget)
Where are the arms I was laying in?
When did we end and I begin?
I forget, like
She has forgotten me

In the palace of midnight,
Velveteen promises
Fall like warm rain
On uncovered skin.

Her lips on my lips whisper
A secret theology,
Dreaming, dissolving
Absolving my sins.

When she’s lying next to me,
Nothing but memory,
She can be anything
I want her to be.

Perfectly absent
And karmically pure
Her hollow glass body
Cries “give me some more”.

She Has Forgotten Me

Lyrics: 

I know you time 
I know you time 
I know you time 
I know you time 

Knowing I’ll die
The only real reason to try
Sometimes I lie
To myself, I
Pretend that some that some things can stay
Knowing I’ll fade
The reason the water has weight

I know I’ll fade
I know I’ll fade
I know I’ll fade
I know I’ll fade

How do I know anything at all?
You let me fall
And beneath it all
I see the skin of the water so still 
I will remember this life 
I will, I will, I will
When I have melted back into the rain
Without a name

Knowing I’m nameless 
there’s nothing to break
And so I can’t hate
I can’t love
When I am nothing
I am enough - 
But I need a name
To be somebody’s some one to love

I know my name
I know my name
I know my name
I know my name
But who am I?

Who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I? 

Am I skin the of the water, 
am I?
A sliver of mind 
reflecting the river of life - 
From which I drink
When I don’t think,
When I don’t try,
When I know time.

All that I know,
All I can see
I see through the skin of the water,
The depth of an eye,
The breadth of the sky - 

Tell me, what happens to waves 
when they die?
Or when the raindrops 
fall into the lake
And break the skin of the water,
Does it set them free?
Water’s still water, 
Even if it’s not me -

Then who am I?
Who am I? 
Am I the soul of the river
Am I?
It broke through the dam
In its reflection I saw who I am

To make sure, 
I tried to draw
On the skin of the water, 
and where I could see
I see only symbols and ripples and signs
I see only myself and my mind

I am blind
Until I find
I am nameless, there’s nothing to break 
Knowing I’m fake,
There’s nothing to take
But something to give

And so I will die
So I can live,
Knowing the reason I’m here is to try
To be the person I am on the inside,
Not to hide.

The Skin Of The Water

ataraxia

once i was (demo)

Recorded during CLIC Sargent's 2018 residential music workshop, featuring young people supported by the charity all with a shared experience of cancer diagnosis and treatment, and a shared love of music. 
For more information see https://clicsargent.org.uk/music

20 Tom - Ash In The Sand

Call Me When You're Falling Down

Lyrics: 
Her body of scripture
A living mythology
All that she promised me
Under the moon 

All that we could have been
Lost like an empire
Burns in the night
Magnesium fire

Chorus:
She’ll be gone soon
She’ll be gone soon

2.
Her lips were like wine
Sour and red
She slipped from the vine
& onto my tongue

Yearning for more of this
Whispering promises
Willing & hopeless
& hopelessly young

3.
She Clung to my skin
like a stitch to the seam
But we dreamt in the dark
& Day killed our dream

4.
I woke to the smell
Of her hair
Briefly forgetting 
That she’s not there

once i was (demo)

Thomas Kam