Hold On To Me.

For hours and hours now
I have showered and showered
trying to wash away my sins.
But as soon as one sin goes
another one shows up and jumps in.
It's not about splashing the cash-
dirty money won't change a thing.

Once my skin had a beautiful tan
but now I am a very pale white man
screwed by the midday news
that you can bathe and bathe away
but your sins will stay on your skin.
They will stay forever and a day.

I might grow blue with the cold,
sing the blues until I'm old,
buy myself a burial plot
in the field of the forgotten.
White cotton hair. Aching bones.
I have been rubbish at atonement.

*

(chorus)
Can you find it
.....in yourself to be kind.
Bring me a very large towel
and help me sit and unwind.
Let me howl like a hurt canine.

I've been the victim of sin
from when I was a baby child.
I was wild. I was disquieting.
I grew to kiss every known sin
on its Cupid chinny chin chin.
I let sin be the light in my life.
It brought me pleasure and strife.
It brought me immeasurable pain.

I'm going to
swiftly get back in that shower-
let it rain,
.....let it rain,
..........let it rain.
Please God let me back in.
Let me sneak back in
.....and I'll never speak of sin again.

Oh! Can you find it
.....in yourself to be kind.
Bring me a very large towel
and help me sit and unwind.
Let me howl like a hurt canine.

I've been the victim of sin
from when I was a baby child.
I was wild. I was disquieting.
I grew to kiss every known sin
on its Cupid chinny chin chin.
I let sin be the light in my life.
It brought me pleasure and strife.
It brought me immeasurable pain.

I'm going to 
swiftly get back in that shower-
let it rain,
.....let it rain,
..........let it rain.
Please God let me back in.
Let me sneak back in
.....and I'll never speak of sin again.

*

Please God let me back in.
Let me sneak back in
.....and I'll never speak of sin again.

Please God let me back in.
Let me sneak back in
.....and I'll never speak of sin again.

Please God let me back in.
Let me sneak back in
.....and I'll never speak of sin again.

LET ME BACK IN

I woke up bleeding from a dream I can’t recall
The sky was black, the mirror cracked, the writing on the wall
I’ve buried friends, I’ve buried faith, I’ve buried every prayer
And still I walk, though every step feels like a dare
God wants me dead
That’s what the silence said
Not in fire, not in flood
Just slow enough to taste the blood
God wants me dead
But I ain’t gone yet
I’ve cursed the stars, I’ve kissed the ground
I’ve begged for peace that won’t be found
My body breaks, my mind betrays
But I still show up most days
The preacher said I’m not alone
But he don’t hear the undertone
Of every breath I drag through pain
Like thunder with no rain
God wants me dead
That’s what the silence said
Not in fire, not in flood
Just slow enough to taste the blood
God wants me dead
But I ain’t gone yet
Maybe He don’t hate me
Maybe He just waits
To see if I’ll keep walking
Through these rusted gates
Maybe love’s a test
And pain’s the proof
That I’m still here
And still got truth
I saw a child smile at me today
And for a second, I looked away
Afraid that light might burn my skin
But maybe that’s where grace begins
I ain’t asking for a crown
Just a reason not to lay it down
If He’s still watching, let Him see
What broken still can be
God wants me dead
That’s what the silence said
Not in fire, not in flood
Just slow enough to taste the blood
If He wants me gone
He’ll have to take me walking   


FYI: God saw me write this and did not stop me....songwriter Edwin H. Balder


God Wants Me Dead

Ruby’s Cigarette

A friend’s call becomes the starting point. A text about a dandelion growing through asphalt turns into a symbol of hope and strength. This song opens the album – quiet, honest, and full of meaning.

This song is part of the album “Through the Asphalt”.

A Call and a Dandelion

“Skin and Bone – 30 Summers” is a folk ballad about friendship, time, and the gentle ache of growing old.
Told through warm acoustic strings and haunting fiddle lines, it reflects on thirty summers shared — laughter, love, and the quiet grace of letting go.
A timeless song about memory, loss, and the light that remains.

For everyone who’s walked beside someone through every season of life.

30 summers

THEY NEVER LISTEN

"I will never know" - is a poetic descent into the fog of dementia — a song about the slow unravelling of self, memory, and the bonds that once defined a life. Through vivid imagery of fading books, lost seasons, and fractured identity, the piece explores the quiet tragedy of watching the world slip away from within.
It is a lament for the person we were, and the love that struggles to remain when names, faces, and moments drift into shadow.
A haunting reflection on memory, identity, and the ache of becoming a stranger to your own life.

I will never know - 1

gratitude:-colossians-3:16.mp3

Sacred Compliance

We walked together in the rain

Old Poet turned singer songwriter - Songs from my heart and mind for your hearts and minds - United we sing ......Really mine really yours !

30 summers

Thoughts and Ones

Related tracks