Hold On To Me.

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Our paths would cross 
From time to time. 
This is a story 
Of an old friend of mine. 
A tale deep in our minds. 
The choices we make 
Seem like glimpses 
Of a picture that shines 
Becoming shadowed 
By the choices we find. 
Woven in the truth 
Shadowed by my friend 
This becomes a story 
That attempts to amend. 
I can only feel 
The sorrow of my heart 
Reaching back 
To what once was 
And the complication, 
The entrapment 
Of the shadow’s attachment. 
But, the freedom of choice 
Combined with 
Life’s gentleness 
Of a coin toss. 
It did not allow 
My mind to see 
What in fat 
Ad captured me. 
As the universe does speak, 
A message to seek 
As the mind begins 
To peak 
To the peripheral  
Of a vision 
Begging for this 
Divine recission. 
Still, not understanding 
It’s always 
Our simple decision 
Yes, the shadow 
Comes invited 
By something 
We may feel excited 
The choice is everywhere 
To live in love 
Or, to sit  
And breathe my air. 
To embrace the choice 
That brought fear 
Propagating my actions 
Pushing away 
What I held very dear 
I wish you were here –  
My friend. 
We once laughed 
And dreamed. 
But the shadowing future 
Was not clear. 
As I sit here 
With the courage to care. 
I have the power 
To free love 
From there to here 
And beyond 
The shadow’s sneer. 
A heart with no fear –  
Love that can care. 
A soul, timeless 
With the ability 
To make illusions disappear.

Old Friend of Mine

For hours and hours now
I have showered and showered
trying to wash away my sins.
But as soon as one sin goes
another one shows up and jumps in.
It's not about splashing the cash-
dirty money won't change a thing.

Once my skin had a beautiful tan
but now I am a very pale white man
screwed by the midday news
that you can bathe and bathe away
but your sins will stay on your skin.
They will stay forever and a day.

I might grow blue with the cold,
sing the blues until I'm old,
buy myself a burial plot
in the field of the forgotten.
White cotton hair. Aching bones.
I have been rubbish at atonement.

*

(chorus)
Can you find it
.....in yourself to be kind.
Bring me a very large towel
and help me sit and unwind.
Let me howl like a hurt canine.

I've been the victim of sin
from when I was a baby child.
I was wild. I was disquieting.
I grew to kiss every known sin
on its Cupid chinny chin chin.
I let sin be the light in my life.
It brought me pleasure and strife.
It brought me immeasurable pain.

I'm going to
swiftly get back in that shower-
let it rain,
.....let it rain,
..........let it rain.
Please God let me back in.
Let me sneak back in
.....and I'll never speak of sin again.

Oh! Can you find it
.....in yourself to be kind.
Bring me a very large towel
and help me sit and unwind.
Let me howl like a hurt canine.

I've been the victim of sin
from when I was a baby child.
I was wild. I was disquieting.
I grew to kiss every known sin
on its Cupid chinny chin chin.
I let sin be the light in my life.
It brought me pleasure and strife.
It brought me immeasurable pain.

I'm going to 
swiftly get back in that shower-
let it rain,
.....let it rain,
..........let it rain.
Please God let me back in.
Let me sneak back in
.....and I'll never speak of sin again.

*

Please God let me back in.
Let me sneak back in
.....and I'll never speak of sin again.

Please God let me back in.
Let me sneak back in
.....and I'll never speak of sin again.

Please God let me back in.
Let me sneak back in
.....and I'll never speak of sin again.

LET ME BACK IN

I woke up bleeding from a dream I can’t recall
The sky was black, the mirror cracked, the writing on the wall
I’ve buried friends, I’ve buried faith, I’ve buried every prayer
And still I walk, though every step feels like a dare
God wants me dead
That’s what the silence said
Not in fire, not in flood
Just slow enough to taste the blood
God wants me dead
But I ain’t gone yet
I’ve cursed the stars, I’ve kissed the ground
I’ve begged for peace that won’t be found
My body breaks, my mind betrays
But I still show up most days
The preacher said I’m not alone
But he don’t hear the undertone
Of every breath I drag through pain
Like thunder with no rain
God wants me dead
That’s what the silence said
Not in fire, not in flood
Just slow enough to taste the blood
God wants me dead
But I ain’t gone yet
Maybe He don’t hate me
Maybe He just waits
To see if I’ll keep walking
Through these rusted gates
Maybe love’s a test
And pain’s the proof
That I’m still here
And still got truth
I saw a child smile at me today
And for a second, I looked away
Afraid that light might burn my skin
But maybe that’s where grace begins
I ain’t asking for a crown
Just a reason not to lay it down
If He’s still watching, let Him see
What broken still can be
God wants me dead
That’s what the silence said
Not in fire, not in flood
Just slow enough to taste the blood
If He wants me gone
He’ll have to take me walking   


FYI: God saw me write this and did not stop me....songwriter Edwin H. Balder


God Wants Me Dead

Ruby’s Cigarette

A friend’s call becomes the starting point. A text about a dandelion growing through asphalt turns into a symbol of hope and strength. This song opens the album – quiet, honest, and full of meaning.

This song is part of the album “Through the Asphalt”.

A Call and a Dandelion

“Skin and Bone – 30 Summers” is a folk ballad about friendship, time, and the gentle ache of growing old.
Told through warm acoustic strings and haunting fiddle lines, it reflects on thirty summers shared — laughter, love, and the quiet grace of letting go.
A timeless song about memory, loss, and the light that remains.

For everyone who’s walked beside someone through every season of life.

30 summers

THEY NEVER LISTEN

"I will never know" - is a poetic descent into the fog of dementia — a song about the slow unravelling of self, memory, and the bonds that once defined a life. Through vivid imagery of fading books, lost seasons, and fractured identity, the piece explores the quiet tragedy of watching the world slip away from within.
It is a lament for the person we were, and the love that struggles to remain when names, faces, and moments drift into shadow.
A haunting reflection on memory, identity, and the ache of becoming a stranger to your own life.

I will never know - 1

latest upload: 18 dec 2025, 2:08AM

file: flora cash - The Bells Toll Lovelier at Night - (bounce 9) - 9 dec 2025
lyrics:

there’s a place i’ve seen in your eyes
full of anguish, yes, but also lots of light

where the bells toll lovelier at night
and the blackest dark is always rather bright

where the random bits are almost by design
and the overtones are always amplified 

ringing on and on and on
 may our love go on and on

i forgot. will you sing for me a line?
from the tune that no one hears until its time 

if you need to retreat from the fight
take my wings, but keep my sword there at your side

take me with you when you long for paradise
and if God won’t let me in, get word to Christ

may the bells ring on, and on
 may our love go on and on

go to sleep and i’ll open your eyes
blood to wine, all pain is sweetness in disguise   

when the birds sing more beautifully at night
that’s a warning bell but mostly it’s the sign  

that the best things aren’t gold and never shine
and beware the one eyed king leading the blind

may the bells ring on, and on
 may our love go on and on

may it all go on and on
 may our love go on and on

may our love go on and on
 may our love go on and on

the bells toll lovelier at night

Bonjour à tous,
Voici un nouveau fragment de mon spectacle musical De Belle-Île à Québec, un voyage où naissent les premières émotions du duo Léo & Clara.

Entre mélancolie et espoir timide, cette chanson trace avec délicatesse la frontière entre perte et renaissance. Chaque mot, chaque pause, chaque souffle devient un reflet intime de nos propres questionnements sur l’amour et l’après, nous emportant dans un voyage intérieur où le temps semble suspendu.

« Après toi… » ne prétend pas apporter de réponse.
Elle offre seulement l’écho des questions, qui résonnent longtemps après les dernières notes.


Interprètes : Léo & Clara 2025
Texte : Laurentides Music
Composition : Laurentides Music
Arrangements : Laurentides Music
Copyright : Laurentides Music 2025

Après toi - Léo & Clara 2025

Old Poet turned singer songwriter - Songs from my heart and mind for your hearts and minds - United we sing ......Really mine really yours !

30 summers

Thoughts and Ones