Hit the silence on my phone
Leave a message at the tone
I'll let emotions out cuz they bout to overflow
I'll deal with this on my own
Poppin meds until I'm zoned
In my bed I'm comatose
I just wanna overdose
Stuck in negative head space
The demons never go away
They just move another place
I'm too disgraced to show my face
I felt the same yesterday
The vicious game of drinking pain away
Feelings hit my chest like a bullet ricocheted
These the moments when time is ticking at its slowest
These the moments when I know that I've hit my lowest
I'm daily going through the motions
These thoughts have their own motives
Facing down reality hitting like a locomotive
Where am I between feeling hopeless and being focused?
Where am I between real life trauma and hocus pocus?
Wheres the fine line between fixed and forever broken?
I'd really love to know cuz I've never been shown it
I know I'm lost cause
never get things right 
walking all alone 
I could die tonight
nobody would know
and nobody would care
exhale my pain
now there's smoke in the air 
I know that it's clear
that I don't fit in
feel so uncomfortable 
in my skin 
laying in bed
and I feel so stuck
I hate the whole world
yeah I know it's fucked 
something is wrong with me
and it can't be fixed
your fucking dishonesty 
just making me sick 
making me cringe
making me wish 
that I didn't exsist 
like everyday 
tortured in my own brain 
yeah I know it's a shame 
I got nothing to say 
I got nowhere to go 
feel like nobody want's me
I tend to push away 
those who love me
the pill's they gave me
just aren't working 
the happy gears inside my head
still aren't turning
drink to numb the pain
now my stomach burning 
if you call him your man
why his pockets hurting
you already know  
mine are swole as fuck
mix margelia
with the trues
I ain't slowin up 
If you ain't talking money
I ain't showin up 
If they ain't showin love
then I don't give a fuck
Ever since I've tried to write a track about sobriety
Like I'm dealin with a post operative lobotomy
Im feeling I cant master an intelligent dichotomy
In my drunken state I thought way more philosophically
I tend to have a better vision with my fucked up chemistry
It's almost like I'm bottling anger that I'm harboring
I use to fire off these tracks semi automatically
I feel that I've been running out of ammunition recently
I've given up the part of me 
that made my last masterpiece
I've given up that part of me
I've killed him off so tragically
I put him on display like a catastrophic centerpiece
Left in the open for the world to watch him slowly bleed
It's been a few months since that part of me became deceased
I had to erase him, make the old me obsolete
The never ending vicious cycle replays memories
flashing through my mind so frequently
Reminisce so vividly
the pill's they gave me
just aren't working 
the happy gears inside my head
still aren't turning
drink to numb the pain
now my stomach burning 
if you call him your man
why his pockets hurting
you already know  
mine are swole as fuck
mix margelia
with the trues
I ain't slowin up 
If you ain't talking money
I ain't showin up 
If they ain't showin love
then I don't give a fuck

Part Of Me(feat. Hammy)

New  IG   Trippz 2020 Twitter Trippz 2020
Mix Trap Metal, 80's, 90's, 2000's Hip Hop and rap

+☠☠. 2 .☠☠+
☠Canada NB☠
+☠☠. 4 .☠☠+

Hey, I'm Ben/Benny, I have a varity music taste, also I like to gather music. Maybe you finde something that sound´s good for you. especially in my raw Playlist´s. 

Irgendwann bin ich Moos :)

cross my heart and hope to die xD

Follow me on social media for updates on when new tracks are coming

Part Of Me(feat. Hammy)

Three A.M.