@blospar: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

felt this way too much i love it ❤️❤️

fuck it im making this public i made this in 30 min

god im sad and pissed off and i feel like such a waste of space for not doing the open for https://soundcloud.com/okstarkie even though i tried for 8 hours straight

lyrics:
[prechorus]
 god im pissed off
tryna make it right
i cant really ever help it 
i cant get her off my mind (who lol what am i talking about )
its the hardest at the night time
eyeing up the razorblade
i got these thoughts up in my mind
that i cannot get away

[hook]
i put 20 on my soul
screaming out im getting old
i swear to god they do not like me
they just liking what i've shown

why the fuck im always wasting all my time
i got places i should go
i got methods i should try

but im stuck up in my ways
so ill vent inside this throwaway
i just wanna cry
but i cannot find the time
(cough)
cannot find the time
swear to god im never right
i just wanna go to sleep
swear to god i just wanna die

[verse]
i cant even keep the will enough that i can scream
baby i just wanna overdose and i just wanna sleep
tell me why im always so upset and why i feel these things
i just want to sit inside my room and cry at my tv
(yeahhh)
lately ive been feeling like im r4msey 
cus anxiety's my only friend 
i popped another ady
now im reeling off the chems

wishing it would end
lying on my bed
i feel horrible for ghosting hunter (and my friends)

[bridge]
yeah
im a worthless piece of shit
i pop another ady i dont ever wanna sleep
cus when i sleep i see the faces of the people that i hurt inside my dreams 
fuck
my
life
(crash!)

[prechorus]
 god im pissed off
tryna make it right
i cant really ever help it 
i cant get her off my mind (who lol what am i talking about )
its the hardest at the night time
eyeing up the razorblade
i got these thoughts up in my mind
that i cannot get away

[hook]
i put 20 on my soul
screaming out im getting old
i swear to god they do not like me
they just liking what i've shown

why the fuck im always wasting all my time
i got places i should go
i got methods i should try

but im stuck up in my ways
so ill vent inside this throwaway
i just wanna cry
but i cannot find the time
(cough)
cannot find the time
swear to god im never right
i just wanna go to sleep
swear to god i just wanna die

[bridge but outro]
lately ive been feeling like im r4msey 
cus anxiety's my only friend 
i popped another ady
now im reeling off the chems

wishing it would end
lying on my bed
i feel horrible for ghosting hunter (and my friends)

vent (ninewaters)

1.4.2021
hahah rhaast made me record this hahahaha

mixed by @tixwmmy
prod @ninewaters
feat @okstarkie

Lyrics:
[Intro]
yeah its my time to ball

[Hook]
feeling like im jiccjucc
way i always run it up
i remember august streaming lies
and now im going up
swear to god i cross my heart and hope to die
i dont wanna be the one to change and be what they despise

saw it in my brothers and i saw it in my friends
swear to god i try and fight it but the number's in my head
all i care about are streams you know what im tryna chase
swear to god i need a bag ive been tryna make some plays

[Verse]
sent my brother a couple of my songs
yeah he ghosted i dont even give a fuck he did me wrong
i dont even need no love
hyperfocus on the cash
(i could never) give a fuck about an ex
ima go and pop these tags

i might go and take it back
put my pride up on the line
ima go on the attack
feel like rhaast up in the night

you're not even worth a thought
you're beneath me
bitch im gonna blow up
you can see me on your tv

bitch i own the game
you can call me miyamoto
shawty sent the addy
i dont wanna go tho

mask on my face now i look like an emoji (drain gaaaaang)
you know i was born with this shit like an iv

[Starkie & I]
im on top (obey)
you try but you can not touch (give in)
my steez is clean like bishop
just do me
i dont need rest
ill never sleep
so

[Starkie]
happy
fuck the reaction
squads on top
we becoming the captains
looking for action
fuck all the cap shit
ima have to strike
you dont know what we packin

[Hook]

Fin

rhaast w/ okstarkie (ninewaters)

25.7.2021
life sucks

prod https://soundcloud.com/greg-the-gamer-extra

Lyrics:

[Hook]
got a lotta people wanna see me dead
i dont wanna wake up in the morning play the idiot
i pretend that i dont notice all the fucking hate
but its really hard to ignore shit when its inside my brain

okay im my own worst enemy
think i went insane and i cant find a fucking friend of me
okay like im sorry for my apathy 
its really hard to care when all this shit is just a part of me

[Verse]
shoutout my whole clique they dont even know my name
feeling like im fucking dream i put a mask up on my face
tryna hide the fact that i feel like a waste everyday
i dont wanna make you sad really wish you would have stayed

she treat me like im garbage treat me like im nothing
now i feel so fucking flawed and inside i feel ugly

she said she could fix me
i dont think she gets this
im a broken toy and everyday i play the idiot

and ill say it again
i gotta find a way to get it inside of your head 
you got me feeling so alone
cus i dont think you ever cared
every day i sit in silence and i suffer in despair 

[Bridge]
they tell me get a bag
i dont really wanna bag
only thing i ever wanted was for you to love me back
i dont really want the money or the fame
only thing i ever wanted was to feel okay

[Hook]

Fin

the idiot (greg beats)

9.4.2021
im about as see through as plastic on a good day

mixed by https://soundcloud.com/tixwmmy
prod https://soundcloud.com/ninewaters

Lyrics:

[Intro]
i tried to write a song
tried to do the right thing tried to be the one that eveyrone wants

[Hook]
call me when you need me
only love me when your down 
when ur up i guess im nothing to you

every single waking second wanna kill myself
but i guess that im worthless to you

everytime that im feeling in the worst way
she dont wanna talk say
"right now im busy okay"

but when it rolls around to the next day
then she wanna cry away
i think that im going insane

[Verse]
if im being honest i think that i wanna die
i dont really have a single thing live for 
if im being honest then today i grabbed a knife
drew a line felt the best i ever have glad i sinned for 

sinned for the pain
swear agony it makes my day
watch the blood drip down on my hilt

i have lust for adrenaline
i dont wanna breathe
so ill pierce my lungs
snort an ady so ill get the job done

[Bridge]
call my line ask if im all right
got a blade in my thigh
and im thinking suicide
i dont wanna make you cry
so i guess i have to lie
gotta live another day
just to give you peace of mind

swear that every other day i have a crisis
"i dont let it on" so i put it in my songs then
why am i the one they always come to
"tix i wanna die"
ill pretend im not the same
ill just lie and im say im fine

[Hook]

Fin

agony (ninewaters)

12.2.21

prod https://soundcloud.com/ninewaters

what does rhaast mean anyway?

Lyrics:
[Intro]
wake up on the same shit
everyday i waste away im feeling like shit 

got people who love me i dont deserve shit
i can't even rhyme honestly i wanna quit

cus i fucking hate music

[Hook]
i feel so damn pressured all the time
always give my all feel so tired and i wanna die

misery is always by my side
if i say its looking up then you know i fucking lied

cracks up in my mind and im going fucking coocoo
i just need a friend someone i can stay true to

i could never let it go and i really fucking miss you
always my own and i hope you know it kills me too

what does rhaast mean anyway?

[Verse]
everything i've lost, inside of my head
all the memories i wish that i could finally forget
pick the scabs off of my arm wrote her name onto my skin

reminders all around me cant escape all of my sins 

scratch until its raw but it'll never cease to itch

ring around the rosie pockets full empty promises

its better to be blind than see the truth for what it is 

[Hook]

Fin

misery (ninewaters)

30.10.21

prod https://soundcloud.com/gregorgy-beats

Lyrics:

WELCOME TO SAD TOWN
POPULATION ME
EVERYONE ELSE, GET OUT!

okay

THE UNDOING DRAWS NEAR

[Hook]
fuck im gonna throw it up
but im still fiending for another bite

i feel like an outcast
i wish they would fucking write

im starting to get why they all hate me
im not worth a mention im so fucking lazy

im an exile
always on the outside
i could have been one of you 
but you cut me out of your life

i hope that you feel bad
i hope that you see me in pain
i hope that you think of me
i think of you every day

LIFE SUCKS
BUT AT LEAST I'M NOT YOU

[Verse]
like what the fuck else could i say
id rather keep my dignity than be another fake
you're a fucking slave to every single thing you say you hate

HAHAHAHA

and i know it could be worse
got a 30 in my hand
bitch im leavin a hearse

know i feel walking dead
bloody red all on my shirt
who the fuck im tryna kid
swear to god im fucking cursed okay

[Bridge]
i don't really think i ever earned it
lately all i think is that im feeling like im a burden
you can see it in my eyes you know im fucking hurtin
all i ever wanted was for you to say im worth it

but im not yea
i just wanna understand

clueless its the story of my life
cus im the idiot

[Hook]

Fin

exile (greg beats)

prod. cozzi @prodcxzzi
some vocals done by thrdprsn and foglake
mixing and mastering done by me and cozzi
lyrics:

with you, i feel like im just gonna be nothing
my heart feeling cold and my brain is just crumbling
my heart feeling cold and my brain is just crumbling
you suck at advice so why keep coming

so wait for a second

see its just a problem, and i dont know just how to solve em
she fucked me up i called her. she got me feeling nauseous
its hard for me to tell when youre joking. just hoping you would notice
you just keep acting so reckless. why dont you wait for a-

so wait for a second

broken down, out the window
making choices i dont want no more
loving people is hard
making sure i get back home in my car

i dont know where to go
make it hard to get back home

my heart feeling cold and my brain is just crumbling
you suck at advice so why keep coming

so wait for a second
(second! second!)
second
so wait for a second
second
so wait for a second

my heart feeling cold and my brain is just crumbling
you suck at advice so why keep coming

agony (ninewaters)

Tixwmmy

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