LONER

faceless

I swear i've fallen down, uh, about a thousand times
Nothing to say or do so, I
Ignore the signs
I break the body that the
Creator has designed
Feeling so left behind
How much more can i climb?

Play the cards that i'm given
Don't show my face I stay hidden
You always talk, i don't listen
No good for this world,
To the end, i'm driven
I, just want forgiveness
Say you never cared,
But you always in my business
Please just forget it
I'll be good on my own
On trial, you're the witness

Please just forget it
i'll be good on my own
On trial, you're the witness
Trial you're the witness

I swear i've fallen down, uh, about a thousand times
Nothing to say or do so, I
Ignore the signs
I break the body that the
Creator has designed
Feeling so left behind
How much more can i climb?

Cards I'm Given

enjoy, LONER.

Made of glass, you can just break me in half
Pieces fall I shatter, all over the grass
My reflections show, the future and past
This shit is moving so fast
I'm broken won't last

Made of glass, made of glass
Pieces fall, all over the grass
My reflections show, the future and past
I'm broken won't last, im broken won't last


Can't feel a thing
Can't even think
All I fucking feel, is bad energy
The things that i've been through
They've broken me, they;e shattered me
I'm fucking fracturing

Where are you now?
In space it seems
It's for the best, you're just a memory
I'm made of glass, See my flaws
Through the cracks and seams
Through the cracks and seams


Made of glass, you can just break me in half
Pieces fall I shatter, all over the grass
My reflections show, the future and past
This shit is moving so fast
I'm broken won't last

Made Of Glass

Better Days (ft. mental)

prod. Shinju

just a song about how I’ve been feeling for a while … EP coming very soon

All That Is Left

Fallout

Seeing Stars w/ tsuyunoshi (joshwa)

Highs and Lows

its hard to sleep at night when
you see an end in sight
two paths to go but
which one
i cant decide
i cant decide it
got, two pills imma bite it
and im frightened,
but i dont mind it at all

take a walk in the garden
i, touch the leaves they turn rotten
my house is haunted i,
see the memories forgotten
i beg your pardon
got, 300 bands like a spartan
check out my garments, 
cant get them disregard it.

its hard to sleep at night when
you see an end in sight
two paths to go but
which one
i cant decide
i cant decide it
got, two pills imma bite it
and im frightened,
but i dont mind it at all

Bite It

Exit Music (For A Film)

cover of my fav RadioHead song. had to remind everyone a fella can still sing 🫶🏼 original music coming soon I think

Fake Plastic Trees

here’s a mix of songs that I made cause I’m getting older and this is how I feel about that

another year older (╥_╥) [bday mix]

original beat from Lil Peep’s “Waste Of Time” prod. Me

ghosts (ig: totaldespairr)

bound

reminiscing

isolation

the heart may be weak, and sometimes it may give in, but i've learned that deep down there's a light that never goes out.

beloved (ig: totaldespairr)

let go

shout out @jahseh-onfroy
xxxtentacion. hope you enjoy


rip.

xxxtentacion - king (despair remix)

bittersweet release

single off of my new tape. i hope you all enjoy

xepher

thank you all for everything. enjoy broken memories 

when you're all alone

things were good once w/ gin$eng (ig: totaldespairr)

wasted away, soon.
in the grace of your love i writhe, writhe in pain
in 666 ways i love you and i hope you feel the same
download/buy "wasted away": https://totaldespair.bandcamp.com/album/wasted-away

disgrace

til death do us part (ig: totaldespairr)

thank you, for everything.
lyrics:
you can see it in my eyes 
you know i wanna die
can't fuckin think
can't fall asleep at night 
i wanna fucking leave
im saying goodbye 
what's the point
why even fuckin try


can't fuckin think
Can't fuckin sleep
I just want to leave
I just want some peace
Why is that so hard
Why is life so hard 
I won't be a part of it anymore.

cant fall asleep

thank you for your support.
also, i released a drum kit, 80+ sounds all individually mixed by me.
purchase my drum kit here if you'd like: https://sellfy.com/p/dQ0j/

also, "forgotten" EP...
soon.

vanish

sick and tired

rework of an old song hope you like it... forgotten...

timeless

when you have nothing left

MUSIC VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UGJpy9jONU

lyrics:

looking for a way out of this place man i just want to leave
i dont know what i want in life, i dont know if i want to breathe

i hope you think of me when the world takes its last breath
i hope you cant get me out of your fucking head

i wish that i was dead
take my final breath...

hope (MUSIC VIDEO IN DESCRIPTION)

tribute to lil peep, we all love you, rest in peace, live forever.

s/o https://soundcloud.com/pearlywhite

ashes w/ PEARL WHITE

prod. by @fox-wedding

lyrics:

got everything in front of me
telling me to stay 
but there’s this feeling 
like I need to run away

Baby u called my phone
I didn’t know what to say
got all these thoughts in my brain
it drives me insane
all these thoughts in my brain
driving me insane
 

Tell me where to go 
Tell me if I stay 
I never wanted this shit anyway
I wish I could change 
I wish I could remain the same 
Conflicting thoughts always haunting me


Always haunting me 
Wherever I roam
Forever wandering 
Looking for home 
Looking for a place 
To call my own 
Where is my home 
Where am I from 



eight days of the rain
still won’t even wash away the pain 
i Cut my wrists 
i watch the blood flow right into the drain 
you called my phone 
I don’t even know what to say 
I see visions of you 
Screaming my name


Take me back
To the old days 
I wish I could change
I’m so stuck in my fucking ways
I need to run away
I need to get away
i need to run away 
i need to go today

runaway (prod. foxwedding)

DARKNESS PREVAILS

Skin ft. Lil Wintr, Marcelo & Keagan Hoffman (prod. Marcelo)

despair & capoxxo - conscience (prod. pvscale & despair)

beyblade ft. Wstdyth [wstd]

Loner (ft. deth coni)

Watch it all fall down on the shoreline
Down bad, can you just
Fucking give me a sign
Constantly feels like i'm out of time
Gotta make it, gotta
Fucking take what is mine
Just gotta shine
Just gotta shine
Take what is mine
Just gotta shine

No going back, I run it back
I run it back,
Face a wall, then i paint it black
I never lack
Can't listen to what you say
Cause that shit is wack
Count up these stacks
Me and the gang making hits,
And that's back to back
Take some things and its just 
To Fucking relax
Tore my heart to fucking pieces
Yeah, heart attack
Slow down, Time stop
You never cared about me 
Til this fucking song drop
Got some problems in my head
Hear it in my songs
I need some help, 
Where the fuck did i go wrong?

Watch it all fall down on the shoreline
Down bad, can you just
Fucking give me a sign
Constantly feels like i'm out of time
Gotta make it, gotta
Fucking take what is mine
Just gotta shine

Shine

prod. RecycleBin
Say you were my gang, what you call that?
Don't wanna help, til its all black
Diamonds iced out, I know you saw that
Hahahahahaha, you going out bad
Got a problem man? 
We'll solve that
Money in my truey jeans, pockets all fat
You think you all that
Talking all that fucking talk, yeah that chit chat.

New day, same pain, and it still hurts the same
Nothing to gain
It's all lost, it's all out of frame
I lose it all, and get it back
That's the name of the game
I can't see the hate, I got on Dior shades
No one really cares about you at the end of the day
Doesn't matter what they say, to keep you at bay
Constantly feels like there's no other way
Feel's like I'm going insane, going insane

Say you were my gang, what you call that?
Don't wanna help, til its all black
Diamonds iced out, I know you saw that
Hahahahahaha, you going out bad
Got a problem man? 
We'll solve that
Money in my truey jeans, pockets all fat
You think you all that
Talking all that fucking talk, yeah that chit chat.

Say you were my gang, what you call that?
Don't wanna help, til its all black
Diamonds iced out, I know you saw that
Hahahahahaha, you going out bad

Chit Chat [recycleBin]

the hidden gem no one knows about..
send beats: totaldespairr@gmail.com love u

despair

Pinned to spotlight

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